Goldman Sachs, the bank described as a "giant vampire squid wrapped around the face of humanity", is looking for a social media community manager. The role of the job, as the title suggests, will be to "foster a positive community". A third of the time will be spent devleoping community strategy, and 60 per cent will involve " …
Built in ten percent free time?
So it's one third for "developing community strategy", for whatever it is that, but probably ends up being a thick stack of powerpoint slides saying essentially nothing that anyone can understand and asking in the end to hire some kind of assistant, let's not oneself have to type things himself instead of golfing with other executives.
Then there is sixty percent listening and reporting, which means using your smartphone to read what other people post. Which is essentially irrelevant given that the official Goldman Sachs posture is not to care about what image they project on the rest of the world. And then putting in your wall the digital version of the same communication that PR has already created (which will be pasted by the assistant hired after the above presentation)
Then there is the remaining ten percent of... what? Yeah, doing nothing. Except perhaps hearing your friends and family how bad a person you've become since you started working for Goldman Sachs.
Does not look like a bad job overall.
'A third of the time will be spent devleoping community strategy'
And the other two thirds will be spent disseminating the bullshit generated in the first third.
Not exactly my favorite journalist, but he can certainly turn a phrase.
Given that Goldman Sachs' junk mortgages are larglely responsible for the state of the global economy today and given that social media works by giving the ability for the public to air their views; I'd say that this isn't the brightest possible move on GS' part.
"Given that Goldman Sachs' junk mortgages are larglely responsible for the state of the global economy today"
That's a wonderful statement. Any evidence? Presumably, therefore, none of the responsibility lies with the people that took out those mortgages that they couldn't afford to repay and that were more than the house was worth? Of course, it is far more comforting to blame the Atlantic recession (I think you'll find the economy is pretty much tickety-boo in most of the rest of the world, thanks) on a couple of "Evil" companies than to accept that people are just greedy and allow their greed to blind them into making stupid choices.
There's cancers out there with more charisma and appeal than Goldman.
"Muppets" of the World United and Take Over
So we will get to eat more cake, which in this case is having to listen to Goldman's PR about how nice and special they are and how they are doing "God's work" whilst they are, in reality, stealing everything from us and eliminating democracy.
Check out GS's exposure ..
I found http://demonocracy.info/infographics/usa/derivatives/bank_exposure.html rather informative on just how exposed banks are, and Goldman Sachs features here with simply worrying numbers..
I ran into an old acquantance a while back...
...hadn't spoken to him for years because he was a total arse, and immediately gave that impression to nearly everyone he met.
Imagine my surprise when he mentioned he works for GS now!
"Giant Vampire Squid" is not a bad analogy but it instantly puts me in mind of a Facehugger from Alien. You deeply regret making out with it and then find out in the worst possible way it left a little surprise for you.
- Product round-up Ten excellent FREE PC apps to brighten your Windows
- Chromecast video on UK, Euro TVs hertz so badly it makes us judder – but Google 'won't fix'
- Analysis Pity the poor Windows developer: The tools for desktop development are in disarray
- Analysis BlackBerry's turnaround relies on a secret weapon: Its own network
- Hire and hold IT staff in 2015: The Reg's how-to guide