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back to article Nympho hauled to loon-cooler after serial bonkathon brutality

A Munich nymphomaniac is languishing in hospital under psychiatric observation after two men suffered extended sexual ordeals at the hands of the rampant temptress. According to local cops, the unnamed woman met her first victim, a 43-year-old man, in a bar. He willingly accompanied her to her place, where they had sex "several …

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Anonymous Coward

This should be an olympic sport

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Already is, according to the videos (search for 'Trojan Olympics', NSFW)

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Spitting image

Did a skit where Cecil Parkinson suggested Olympic Bonking. When asked how they'd decide the winner, he replied "simple, the one who comes last wins".

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Coat

So that explains it...

I always wondered what they meant at Wimbledon when they said they were seeding the mixed doubles.

OK, OK, I'm coming going!

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Def
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WTF?

@Dave 126

I am without speech.

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As I recall at the Australian Olympics they ran out of condoms at the Olympic Village, I think it already is... unofficially.

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IT Angle

Further details on Page 4.....7.....26-131.....and most of the rest of them.....

........in your sizzling, shagtastic Register!!11!!!

I'm beginning to understand why the masthead is in red.....

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Mushroom

Proof!

Playmobil or it didn't happen!

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Windows

Hey, El Reg...

It's May 1st, not April 1st.

Think those two guys have had more nookie in one weekend than I've had in my entire life!

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Paris Hilton

Re: Hey, El Reg...

Perhaps she can cure this guy:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2137471/Man-sues-BMW-hour-motorcycle-ride-leaves-year-erection.html

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Trollface

Re: Hey, El Reg...

BUT I bet you know more about Linux than both of them put together.

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Obligatory quote

Joan Rivers:

"It's been so long since I had sex, I've forgotten who ties up who"

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Re: Hey, El Reg...

"BUT I bet you know more about Linux than both of them put together."

I wouldn't take that bet. I've known, and been involved romantically with, some VERY randy female Linux users, and at least one programmer...

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xyz

Re: Hey, El Reg...

In yer dreams Howard Wolowitz

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Pint

Down With This Sort Of Thing

Careful now

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Anonymous Coward

Is it contagious?

Do you think she'd like to meet the wife?

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Anonymous Coward

There must be a finite amount of horn in the world

Which would explain why my missus doesn't have any...

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Re: There must be a finite amount of horn in the world

The amount of horn in the known universe can only be explained by the existence of anti-horn.

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Re: There must be a finite amount of horn in the world

"The amount of horn in the known universe can only be explained by the existence of anti-horn."

But you must account for parity violation. Not sure which way though...

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Trollface

Re: There must be a finite amount of horn in the world

And dark horn?

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Re: anti-horn

That was *not* the right thing to read with 2 cracked ribs, but it's worth the painkillers I have to take now..

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Anonymous Coward

BRB

Moving to Germany.

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Re: BRB

Find me one who's 25 years younger and I'll join you

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Anonymous Coward

Re: BRB

.... I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE!! I'M RUBBED RAW!!! GET ME OUT OF HERE!!!!

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Pint

Epic Combat Shagging and Blaxploitation

"Black guys can't walk ... anymore"

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Anonymous Coward

What bus route?

Please include all relevant information in a future article.

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Re: What bus route?

Sloppy Journalism!

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(Written by Reg staff) Silver badge

Re: What bus route?

Number 13. Be aware, though, they're like nymphomaniacs - you wait ages for one, then they all come at once.

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Paris Hilton

Re: What bus route?

Why, are you looking for a ride?

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Happy

Re: What bus route?

Bravo!

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They all come at once?

You sure they aren't faking?

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Re: What bus route?

Oh bravo sire, bravo!

Giggled a bit too much at that one

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Facepalm

Re: What bus route?

Don't you think you'd be better off asking where the sex addiction clinic was?

I'll be the one at the gate selling viagra.

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Paris Hilton

I always wondered

If you could get too much.

Seems you can.

<== who else?

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Anonymous Coward

Re: I always wondered

Yes, you can.

Forcing someone to orgasm too many times is popular in a lot of sadomasochistic groups since it is extremely painful and unlikely to cause actual injury.

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This post has been deleted by its author

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Re: appropriate Workers equipment on *hard* Labor Day

"Arbeit Macht Frei" - errr... bit distasteful.

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IT connection

I am struggling to discern the IT context of this otherwise comprehensive report.

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Re: IT connection

she allegedly had an ipod.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: IT connection

Both the article and ploice paperwork were written on a computer.

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Coat

Re: IT connection

Nonsense, bondage and repressed sexuality is part and parcel of hardware (fnarr, fnarr) terminology:

Master & Slave?

Motherboards?

the whole sticking of floppies or hard-drives into their correct slots?

Mounting correctly?

What would Freud have made of this?

And we wonder why there are few women in IT...

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Re: IT connection

It still makes me snigger when I hear my South African colleagues refer to a USB stick or floppy disk as a "stiffy".

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Re: IT connection

Isn't it obvious? Once her victims wore out, she had to go 'digital'!

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From the horse's mouth

The story's a couple of weeks old:

http://www.tz-online.de/aktuelles/muenchen/sex-sklave-dieter-fuenf-stunden-gefangen-2277597.html (in Jorman of course but includes the name of the pub where she picked the guy up).

What do you do in such a situation? In general, men are able to overpower women but lamp her if you attempt to escape...

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Male victim: Can't you put at least one officer on this?

Police Sergeant: 'Fraid not, sir.

Male victim: Where are they?!

Police Sergeant: They're all hanging around outside the tube station with their ties loosened and their top shirt button undone.

(Apologies to Smith and Jones)

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How inappropriate!

An idle thought: surely no town's tourist board would sink so low as to make up a story like this, just to attract visitors. Would it?

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Re: How inappropriate!

"Come to our town, you'll get raped by old people"?

Doesn't quite work.

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Re: How inappropriate!

If 47 is "old people" round your way, I suspect you're not long out of school. To a major degree, it's like hacking. You might not be as pretty to look at, but you're a whole lot more effective in action.

Cue the "she was only a coder's girlfriend, but she knew what to do with a dangling pointer" jokes...

(Oh all right then, let's have another - "she was only a TCP/IP expert, but she was stacked".)

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Re: How inappropriate!

You are quite correct. Let me rephrase

Come to our town, you'll be raped by people approaching 50.

Is that less unpleasant to your sensibilities? I still think that being raped is probably a bad thing.

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Trollface

I don't think I've seen a thread

with so many ACs.

Funny that.

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