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back to article iTunes fanbois outraged by Apple's sex-life quiz probe

Apple iTunes users are peeved at being made to answer a three-part questionnaire about their cars and where they had their first kiss as part of a compulsory security regime. The new measures sparked outcry on the support forums with punters deriding the interrogation as easy to guess and inappropriate. Fanbois are required to …

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JDX
Gold badge

I got forced to setup similar things when I lost my iPad password. My problem was they only had a very limited set of questions and many of them I had no answer, or didn't know the answer... I've only ever owned one car, I didn't have a favourite or hated teacher, etc.

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er ....

You're not supposed to give the 'correct' answers. These are just reminders for what are effectively a set of passwords.

What was my first car?: Rolls Royce Silver Turd

Where was I first kissed?: On my arse

....

etc

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Re: er ....

'Where were you on 1st January 2000?'

Not a clue, I was absolutley rat-arsed.

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Go

Re: er ....

I imagine I was first kissed in a hospital, but I will have to check that with my mum.

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Syd
FAIL

Re: er ....

No, of course, but you ARE supposed to give the EXACT same answer.

Will you really remember in 5 years time whether you typed "On my arse" or "On the arse"?

(Security questions aren't silly in principle, but ones with ambiguous answers are!)

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They don't say that.

In fact, some services have a contractual condition that you must provide true information.

Another service I've used wants to know the name of my favourite actor AND wants me to log in regularly and change the answer. What, so now I'm obliged to appreciate culture whimsically? Presumably they want me to be their loyal customer, but I can't be loyal to Ashton Kutcher? (...For example.) Also, presumably I have to keep the answers secret... the love that dare not speak its name... What if I secretly become a stalker (of whichever favourite actor we're talking about), and then, through no fault of my own, I get caught? Maybe I should just put down Glenn Beck no one will guess that.

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JDX
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You're not supposed to give the 'correct' answers

Yes but unless there is an obvious answer, I WILL forget. Ending up playing guessing games with myself "what would I have said here" is a waste of my time :)

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Happy

Re: You're not supposed to give the 'correct' answers

Answer to "What was my first car?" is "123apple456wwmfc789".

Repeat as many times as required. It's probably the only reliable way I've got of remembering hundreds of annoying security questions.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: You're not supposed to give the 'correct' answers

It's quite simple. If you don't like their questions, give the answer "Fuck off" for each one.

I'm sure you'll remember that.

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Anonymous Coward

Surely some better questions for Apple owners.

What coffee shop do you work in?

what is your favorite colour of plastic device

Who is your favorite fashion designer

what is your favorite Instagram filter

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Joke

Re: Surely some better questions for Apple owners.

What first made you deify Steve Jobs?

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Surely some better questions for Apple owners.

... what are these plastic devices you speak of? All mine are glass and aluminium.

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Devil

Re: Surely some better questions for Apple owners.

Or "Have you ever jail-broken an Apple device?"...

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Devil

@ Graham Marsden

Not really a good question, since it's a yes-no answer, giving crooks a 50% chance of getting it. Oh wait, scratch that: you're pretty guaranteed to get it right by simply answering "no", since given Apple's track record of deliberately bricking jailbroken devices, no fanboi would actually admit to having jailbroken one to Apple, even if they have.

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Facepalm

Re: @ Graham Marsden

@Steven Roper

Consider what would Apple would be likely to do you you if you answer "yes" to that question...

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Least favourite job

For plenty of people that question is a complete non starter, it implies that they have had at least 2 jobs ... what about the lazy arses who have never bothered to work ? Ditto cars - unless you count the ones that they have nicked, or even know who their father is.

I suppose that they do need to provide a list of questions, most people would not be able to come up with things themselves - although it would be nice for those who are more able.

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Headmaster

Re: Least favourite job

Actually "least favourite" would mean you had had at least 3 jobs, since least is a superlative. If you'd only had 2 jobs it would be "less favourite job", less being a comparative.

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Silver badge

Re: Least favourite job

>implying chavs buy Apple gadgets...

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Joke

Sex life

iTunes fanbois have a sex life ? Who'd have thought.....

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Unhappy

Re: Sex life

You beat me to it. You don't expect to find all those words in the same sentence.

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Trollface

Re: Sex life

More than android owners by what I've read.

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JDX
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Re: Sex life

Indeed given that Apple fans are the cool kids, and we all know girls are too stupid to prefer brains over cool :)

Note to self: perhaps calling them "too stupid" is a bad move...

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"Note to self: perhaps calling them "too stupid" is a bad move..."

Not to worry...probably aren't many "skirts" around here anyway.

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Re: Sex life

it's iSex LIVE!

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Anonymous Coward

For goodness sake - you don't have to give correct answers, just memorable ones ("Favourite car - Scalextric" or something)

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Anonymous Coward

"Favourite car - Scalextric"

Yes because nobody ever mistyped or mispronounced that as 'Scalectrix'.

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Anonymous Coward

Verify or die

The company I work for made us answer similar questions to verify our identities over the phone. They wanted the answers to six questions but we had to choose from their examples, a list they had to increase when people found it hard to pick good ones.

Alas there was no validation on the input form they used to collect the answers, so you could have the same question multiple times (a facility I used when I could only think of answers to five questions). You could also have a different answer to the same question so it will be interesting to see if anyone attempted that - I was sorely tempted.

That said I think a previous commentard said it best when they said you don't have to give "correct" answers. My first car was actually the space shuttle and my favourite music is the sound of a thousand tortured souls.

No I don't work for Microsoft.

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Silver badge

Re: Verify or die

I know someone who puts in answers like that on forms at the local Job Center.

So far he's never been asked to clarify why he would want to be a megolomaniac bent on world domination.

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Joke

Re: Verify or die

Rupert Murdoch has already signed on?

Wow. That was quick :)

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Coat

Re: Verify or die

My D.O.B. is always 01 January 1900. Not doing too bad for an old codger.

Mine's the one hanging on the electric wheel chair.

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@ItsNotMe

I always put my DOB as 20 July 1969 (the day of the Moon landing). It's only a few years+months after my actual birth date, so it doesn't arouse suspicion with regard to my physical age, and Dad getting me out of bed to watch Armstrong give his famous speech on the telly, is my earliest childhood memory - hence the day I was "born" to my own awareness.

Only my bank and certain government agencies have my real DOB (which given said agencies' propensity for USB sticks, laptops and trains probably means world+dog have it by now anyway!)

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Anonymous Coward

Re: @ItsNotMe

Maybe you should have posted that anonymously.

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FAIL

re making stuff up

well thats a genius idea isn't it.. because obviously in 6 months when asked for the answers again, I'm obviously going to know the same made up answers.

Got the same questions last week, only the first set was usable , the second set, I think I could answer, though it depends on the mood which childhood friend I'd pick ( I moved and thats the only question I think has a memorable answer) and the 3rd , that was hopeless.

grrreat..

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jai
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Re: re making stuff up

Making stuff up is the only safe way to do it - if you give a real answer, then someone is going to be able to guess it or work it out.

I've been doing it for years. By now, I have a set of answers for most of these types of questions, the answers are completely unrelated to my life, but I know them well. It's no harder than having to remember a dozen different passwords or differing complexity here at work. And at least these types of questions don't have to be changed every 30 days.

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Gimp

Re: re making stuff up

"It's no harder than having to remember a dozen different passwords or differing complexity here at work."

I've got a pretty good memory for facts, but I struggle to remember two passwords because they have to be made-up stuff with "at least one digit and one capital letter". If I start making up answers to security questions as well I'll start doubting my own identity pretty soon.

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Pint

::giggles::

This is going to become entirely too funny ...

Marketards have absolutely no clue about TheRealWorld[tm].

Beer, because it's afternoon somewhere :-)

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Pint

Re: ::giggles::

Yes, here too - mine will be sliding down my throat with silky smoothness in about half an hour...

Yum, yum...

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Re: ::giggles::

That's what she said!

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FAIL

I faced these questions last week

I already have no clue as to what I answered...

Fail for me too.

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Re: I faced these questions last week

And don't forget Apple's new password which requires upper and lower case letters as well as numbers. I'm not sure how many times I've changed that in the last few weeks after wholly forgetting the last one.

Surely any true Apple fan will answer 'Who was your best childhood friend' with 'Steve Jobs'?

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JDX
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Apple's new password requires upper and lower case letters as well as numbers

I got screwed by this... as a new iPad user I didn't realise the "Caps-Lock button" was actually only for the next key, which meant I kept entering the password wrong!

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Holmes

Re: Apple's new password requires upper and lower case letters as well as numbers

If you double-tap it, it will lock on

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This post has been deleted by its author

Also won't allow repeated answers

If your parents happened to meet in the same city in which you had your first kiss, Apple - in their infinite wisdom - won't accept that as a possibility.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Also won't allow repeated answers

".....in their infinite wisdom,..."

Bit rich?

You bought the "i"device!

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Anonymous Coward

Had one of these sets of security questions a few years ago on some site ... asked me where I went on my first holiday - however "Ireland" was rejected as not being a valid answer!

Meanwhile Olympic ticketing site had "name of best friend" as backup question to get password reset. When I forgot what combination of capitalization/numeric/symbols I'd had to use in my password I had to go through the "forbot your password" routine and got asked the "name of best friend" ... my wife was not impressed that it took me a couple of wrong answers before I realized that I should be putting her name in!

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The older I get the less sympathy I have for people who continue to use products that aren't suited to them. Don't like iTunes or Facebook? Well, stop using them because it's the only way companies learn.

Usability is rarely tested, we adapt to how the device works instead. I'm a sucker for it too but it's amazing how easy it is to stop using something if you shorten your fuse and decide to just stop using them - I just adapt like I did before.

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Join the club!

And I thought it was just me.

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Childcatcher

That's all very well in principle, and I tend to agree with you, but I'd guess it's a bit of a bugger for people in the first month of a 24-month iPhone contract, say. Doubt you'd be able to hand it back for a full refund.

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FAIL

"I literally cannot choose from the 2nd set of questions, none of them apply"

Fascinating. For none of the second set of questions to apply, you would have to have had no friends as a child and never have had a job or gone to school. While I can see someone buying into Apple because they have no mates and are desperately seeking approval, surely it's unlikely that the others don't apply?

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