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back to article Hanging's too good for 'em - so what do you suggest?

Our report last week that there's no evidence capital punishment has an effect on the murder rate in the US of A prompted a lively reader debate on the subject of execution. Just about the only clear conclusion that came from the tussle is that once you've been strapped to a gurney and administered a fatal chemical cocktail, you …

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Trying to get actual technical support from BT Total Broadband.

My record is being able to assemble four sets of IKEA shelves and a cupboard during the time I was kept on hold.

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Mushroom

get them all declared as delusional

and let a team of Psychiatrists administer daily electro-shock treatment .

followed up with bucket loads of neuroleptic drugs, suppressing the dopamine receptor, inducing drug created pseudo parkinsons disease, hence getting them to do the "zombie shuffle"

If they're found innocent we could just stop the "therapy", and hope the electro-shock hasn't done too much damage.

All joking aside, the truly frightenning bit , is lots of psychiatrists still actually believe the above 2 treatments are "useful" . I suppose we'd need to define "useful".

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Anonymous Coward

Re: get them all declared as delusional

There was a joke there?

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Megaphone

Re: get them all declared as delusional

Is that for convicted killers or BT support staff?

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New unit of time?

Is the IKEA-shelf-assembly-time set to become a new Reg standard unit?

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How about...

Severing the spinal cord at the neck, rendering them quadriplegic. And then leaving them to the families to care for them.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: How about...

This means that the society ends up caring for them.

Once upon a time (just launch the classic "101 Dalmatians" to see that) prison was referred to as "Debt to Society". It should become this again in order for any punishment to take effect.

For example - make the minor ones clean the sewerage of all houses in a neighborhood they tried to paint some grafitty on. Sweep the streets, remove the chewing gum, etc for minor offences. Most importantly - it must be in your neighborhood so you get the "real" street cred for stinking of shit, rotten sewerage and industrial bleach.

As far as the ones that are to be "hung" (or to be more exact - lethal injected) make 'em drain malaria swamps in the third world and clear minefields. Punishment should fit the crime.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: How about...

As long as you can restore things back to normal when they're found innocent. You did think of that possibility before engaging fingers, right?

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Re: How about...

"As long as you can restore things back to normal when they're found innocent."

Agree 100%. I'm curious about how republicans can hold both the following views extremely strongly and above all, simultaneously:

a) government is inherently corrupt and inefficient and we should do everything possible to make government smaller and reduce governmental influence

and

b) i completely trust a government agency to investigate, solve and pass sentence for a crime, with absolutely no doubt that the convicted person was indeed guilty, and i trust my government so much that I'll allow it to kill people who they think are guilty of anything serious

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Re: How about...

yep- I was thinking of some form of shunt or switch.

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JDX
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IT Angle

What has this got to do with IT?

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(Written by Reg staff) Bronze badge

Sweet eff all, mate. Welcome to El Reg.

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Anonymous Coward

Now there's an idea. Make them part of a 1st line IT Support Helpdesk. Now that IS cruel and unusual punishment

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You sir, are sick...

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For the really naughty ones

Make them a moderator for El Reg comments.

Part of the rehabilitation program could be to go round and "clarify" a few things to those who ask "What's this got to do with IT?"

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Devil

"What has this got to do with IT?"

It's called commentard baiting.

The hacks at El Reg are presently gathered around a single monitor waving fistfuls of notes in the air and taking bets on which posters are going to come out of this with the most down/up votes.

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JDX
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@Lester

That's a non sequiteur... nearly every El Reg story is (at least a bit) related to IT.

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Trollface

Escape from the Isle of Man

Turn it into a lawless maximum security prison. For an added bonus, crash land your favourite world leader onto it and be thankful that Snake isn't around to save them.

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Re: Escape from the Isle of Man

You're Snake Pliskin! I thought you were dead.

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Re: Escape from the Isle of Man

And taller

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Devil

Re: Escape from the Isle of Man

Or..... as an alternative, give them all a back-pack apiece containing a map and some sort of weapon and set them off against each other Battle Royale style.

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Re: Escape from the Isle of Man

Escape from New York crossed with The Wicker Man

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Does not Compute..

"The execution of innocent people is death penalty opponents' strongest argument against nooses, electric chairs and gas chambers."

and then

"However, banging murderers up indefinitely just doesn't cut it for some people, so we're inviting suggestions as to how these perps could be made to really suffer."

.... Oh, perhaps you were 'aving a larf.

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Re: Does not Compute..

Of course it computes.

Opponents of the death penalty dont like the idea of killing people as punishment.

However, an entirely different group of people think the death penalty is perfectly reasonable.

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MJI
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Re: Does not Compute..

Also.

A lot of people are in favour of death sentence but the potential of miscarriages of justice make it for them a no no.

Same applies to mutilation ect.

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Well ...

To put it in the words of the immortal Tyrion Lannister:

cut off their manhood and feed it to the goats.

Or as modern technology knows this: surgical castration.

Simple & clean.

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Simple

"cut off their manhood and feed it to the goats"

Quite apart from the implications for our species if we convince goats our gennies are suitable fodder, I can think of quite a lot of people who would not be deterred by this particular punishment.

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Re: Simple

"I dont like or want children so i can butcher as many men / women / children as i like"

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Re: Simple

> quite a lot of people who would not be deterred

Approx 51% of the human race...

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Re: Well ...

>cut off their manhood and feed it to the goats

Do you realize that some of the most prolific serial killers have been female?

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Re: Well ...

really? well, no, i did not realise that actually, you got me thinking..

branson or manson, fred west, jack the ripper, hmm, i'm stuck at 3 and they're all blokes.

some of the most prolific you say? -how come they're not so famous do you reckon?

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Simple

I've been a long time fan of the "three strikes and they're off" approach for male criminals. Not sure how this would translate to the fairer gender.

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MJI
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Re: Well ...

Myra Hindly

Wests wife.

West topped himself - DIY execution. Their house has vanished as well. Evil bastards

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Made to debate the current UK Gov's ICT policy with Orlowski!

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or...

For the really heinous crimes, made to debate UK military spending with Lewis Page...

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Re: or...

"For the really heinous crimes, made to debate UK military spending with Lewis Page..."

I say! Steady on, old chap, I think there are limits beyond which a civilised society should not step.

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sticky stuff on my hands

i hate it when i get sticky stuff like orange juice on my hands.

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TRT
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Apple OS naming convention.

Use 'em to feed the leopards. Throw 'em in the arena to go up mano-e-garra against a lion or a tiger.

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Odd...

Surely they should be praised for helping to reduce the over-population of the planet?

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Big Brother

Punishment

Getting them to read Orlowski's tosh...I mean articles

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Re: Punishment

Aloud.

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It should be televised

and bring back hangings.

Live televised hangings every Friday night. With re-enactments of the crime before the main event.

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Re: It should be televised

^^ What he said.. Maybe a dedicated Sky 3d channel..

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Re: It should be televised

re-enactments done entirely by children in home made costumes

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Anonymous Coward

Re: It should be televised

How about some kind of Running Man scenario.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: It should be televised

Re-enactment by Play Mobil gets my vote

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Re: It should be televised

Its got to be - Playmobil !

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Anonymous Coward

Re: It should be televised

That's probably the ONLY thing that could possibly make the Lottery draw worth watching.

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Free the Title

I got space in my deep freeze one or two...

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Devil

Well...

We could start off their day by having them read the Daily Express cover-to-cover while having porridge (naturally). This would be followed by spending the morning listening to John Major's election speeches. After a lunch of Haggis and pickled beetroot they could spend the afternoon pairing a socks. Dinner would consist of tofu and courgette, boiled until they were soggy. Prisoners would then have the evening free to watch repeats of Dads Army.

This would be their schedule every day.

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