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back to article US judge orders Apple, Samsung CEOs to get a room

A US court has sent Apple and Samsung CEOs into settlement talks to sort out their patent disputes or at least limit the number of wrangles. The two mobile tech rivals said in a joint court filing that they were both willing to participate in the peace summit, where chief executives Tim Cook and Choi Gee-sung, along with their …

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WTF?

anecdotes about his vacation in Spain

Icon says it all.

Oh, and 'Assclowns'.

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Anonymous Coward

However this ends

I don't think it be a big win for either, and both sides will be able to claim some kind of victory.

Then it will be business as usual until the next time all this sort of thing comes up again. Which sadly, is pretty much business as usual

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Holmes

Re: However this ends

You forgot to mention the part about we, the people, losing. Especially in the American context, it's all about maximizing corporate profits. As far as the neo-GOP Romney's twisted claim that corporations are made of people, what he actually means is that any increased income resulting from increased corporate profits should go to people like HIM.

If Romney had any honesty, then his campaign slogan would be "So that government of the corporations, by the lawyers, for the richest 1% shall rule the earth." (Anyone out there capable of making a pastiche video? I'm just saying...)

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Anonymous Coward

US judge orders Apple and Samsung CEOs to get together in a room and adds "there's only one way to solve this dispute .... FIGHT!!!"

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Joke

Pie fight

See the excellent documentary "The Great Race" for proof

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Pirate

Occams Razor & The Wisdom of Solomon for you Judge.....

Dear Judge,

I have a great idea for you that will settle this bogus software patent crap once and for all.

Cut the baby in half.... for BOTH Samsung & Apple. Make each company pay the other exactly the same amount of money and invalidate all the "patents" and arguements that they brought in to the case. By invalidate, I mean that those patents become FRAND and their fees get set in the decision at 10 cents each.

As part of the decision, fine both companies 500 Million to go to the US patent office to hire competent patent lawyers that have electronic and software backgrounds.

Also, send all existing software patent dispute plaintiffs a copy of the decision with a "Settle or Else" stamp on the copy.

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Happy

Welcome to the Borg

“Apple’s attention to design allows people a feeling of symbiosis with their electronic tools, creating a feeling that one’s device is an extension of oneself”

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Anonymous Coward

It seems Apple wants to patent the emotional feeling people get from buying their products. I know the feeling when I get building my own high end computer. A feeling Apple can't match.

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Anonymous Coward

that warm feeling trickling down your leg is not what he meant

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Holmes

I like the idea of locking the patent lawyers in a room to sort things out, but do we really have to let them out again?

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Winner stays on

That should do it...

One gets killed by the other, the victor remains to cagefight the next one through the door :o)

Repeat until David Attenborough makes a program about the 'Incredibly rare and shy Lawyeris Patentis which is on the verge of extinction'

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jai
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Patentdome

two lawyers entere, one lawyer leaves...

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Re: Patentdome

This one, DEFINITELY! From now on, ALL patent disputes should be settled this way, I bet the blood suckers......erm sorry, I mean lawyers, wouldn't be so interested in taking the cases any more!

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I would have gone further than the judge.

I would have _locked_ the two of them in a room (without lawyers) and told them they can only come out when either one survives or both have agreed to drop this tedious process.

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Re: I would have gone further than the judge.

Yep, with the room hermetically sealed. Nothing concentrates the mind on coming to an agreement like the threat of suffocation in a finite time!

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Coat

iTodger

"“Apple’s attention to design allows people a feeling of symbiosis with their electronic tools, creating a feeling that one’s device is an extension of oneself”

Appears Apple have invented the electronic pork sword

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Cop-out.

Judge says "the law not up to the job" or "applying the law is too expensive". Either way "the law" fails when it hides until the big boys pass some brown-envelopes about instead. Man up and do your job judge, or get the hell out.

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Childcatcher

Re: Cop-out.

Sounds more like he's saying, " Piss off and don't come back until your two companies can settle things like rational adults instead of a couple of two year old brats.", but in nice, nuetral legalese.

Childcatcher icon just seems ... appropriate.

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Devil

BOFH as Judge

Will they find brick under their chairs?

Large van 1/2 full of carpet & quicklime outside for the victor?

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