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back to article Global chocolate crisis looms

The world's chocolate supply is at risk, according to Professor David Guest of the University of Sydney's Faculty of Agriculture and Environment. Professor Guest will tomorrow deliver a talk titled The Chocolate Crisis in which he will warn that "We're in a situation where chocolate manufacturers are anxious about meeting demand …

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Well damn, we have to sort this right away!

After all, I don't think "Cadbury's Carob" has quite the same ring to it!

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Coat

Re: Well damn, we have to sort this right away!

Professor Guest and the looming global chocolate crisis?

Huhuh, that sounds urgent. More like a comic book title. Go go captain Planet.

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Re: Well damn, we have to sort this right away!

"Cadbury's Carob" - I've had locally-made chocolate in Cyprus made with carob syrup cut with imported cocoa and it wasn't that bad. Far better than a Hershey bar!

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NNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

that is all.

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Re: NNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I'm with you there...holy f*ing crap!

Switzerland will fall into recession, and my dentist will go bankrupt!

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Re: NNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

This is no joke, this is very serious, I require my daily chocolate intake... (and I live in Switzerland - double whammy)...

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Re: NNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

In Geneva there are several "Chocolatiers" on the main street, they are institutuions here, let's hope they stand up to this outrage....

In fact I might just pop into one of them on my way back from lunch, just in case.........

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Re: NNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Wow - three "swissies" on the same chocolate thread...did we all move here for the work or the chocolate?

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@ Khaptain

Have you tried the 12 layer chocolate cake from Sprungli? Oh man...

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Re: NNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

not a fan of swiss chocolate (it's always over-creamed). Belgium and French chocolate is the best.

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Re: @ Silverburn

As much as I love Sprungli - 12 Layers - Ouch .....

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Childcatcher

WON"T SOMEONE THINK OF THE CHILDREN!!!!!!

and those that haven't grown up

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Meh

Hmm, advertising?

Is it a coincidence that this year marks the first release of australian grown and processed chocolate? Stir up a bit of trouble and doubt about your less well developed rivals, hoping to trigger massive investment in the Australian chocolate industry?

Me, cynical?

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Re: Hmm, advertising?

err...

insight+realist = cynical to others

In other shock news; mammals of the ursine persuasion have been found to excrete remnants of enteral nutritional intake in arboreal surroundings

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Must resiiiist..

Oh, the horror...

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Coat

Chocolate demand increasing...

Is this similar to Homer Simpson's get-rich-quick scheme, based on the fact that pumpkin prices increased all through September and October?

Has anyone taken into account the drop in chocolate demand in certain countries after Sunday 8th April?

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Anonymous Coward

Don't panic Mr Mainwaring!

There'll still be USA choccy in Blighty. It's not like Cadbury's has much coca in it...

And Hershey's is more candle wax than anything else.

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Re: Don't panic Mr Mainwaring!

That was more-or-less my thought: the rest of the world's in trouble, perhaps, but the UK and US chocolate industries, relying more on sawdust and margarine than cacao to make their chocolate flavour confections, should be hunky-dory...

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Re: Don't panic Mr Mainwaring!

I remember trying Hersheys for the first time when I was in the states. I bought it back to the shop and told them it was stale. When they told me it supposed to taste like that, I said 'Really??? And people eat this???"

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Re: Don't panic Mr Mainwaring!

Odd, I thought a similar thing about British chocolate. "They put in twice the milk and forgot the chocolate!"

Personally, I prefer dark chocolate.

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Re: Don't panic Mr Mainwaring!

Cadbury's is USA-ian and only every really produced a low-grade sugar carrier in a vegetable-fat base.

British chocolatiers that (and there are still some, such as Coca Mountain andHotel Chocolat) do do decent chocolate; but just like a decent beer (not mass-produced crap), they need to be sought out and can rarely be bought on high-street shops.

It's these smaller producers who will suffer, but the producers of low-grade junk will weather the storm (as it will be hard to spot the quality dropping further).

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Happy

Re: Don't panic Mr Mainwaring!

"Coca Mountain": That wasn't white chocolate powder you bought, you know...

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Re: Don't panic Mr Mainwaring!

I make all the best typos. *sniff*

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Choke on the Cocoa

Mmmm I think this is just a chocolate coloured smoke screen.

Normal practice is to buy low Cocoa-liquor (and often low-grade) chocolate from Africa and Asia and then mix in the high Cocoa-liquor content from Melanesia (the focus of this article).

The problem has been that the local Melanesians haven't been too fussed about consistency and quality.

Get them to grow better quality Cocoa and you can then really make the other rubbish go a lot further, charge more for it ('cos it tastes and smells better even though it really isn't), and still rip off the farmers and consumers.

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WTF?

Re: Choke on the Cocoa

"it tastes and smells better even though it really isn't"

I've read this twice and I'm struggling a bit. If it tastes and smells better then surely it _is_ better. How the hell else do you measure the quality of an edible treat?

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Joke

Re: Choke on the Cocoa

because location of origin is clearly a better test of quality then how suited it is to the perpose!

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2 birds one stone

First we tell all those climate change botherers to push off because we've got a more important crisis to solve

Then we use the money being sunk onto pointless carbon reduction schemes (I'm looking at you windmills and electric cars) and put it towards cocoa irrigation and improvement.

Surely we can use some of that space they cleared for biofuels?

In any case...tell the WWF and Greenpeace that this is our cause!

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Trollface

Re: 2 birds one and a half cups

That particular idiom is forever ruined for me, damn you internets.

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IT Angle

There is no need for panic buying

You should not rush down to the sweetie shop, and queue round the block to fill up your fridge.

And in other news, woman dies when jug of chocolate overturns in her kitchen.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: There is no need for panic buying

Or, "woman dies when panic-buying of chocolate leads to panic-eating"

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Coat

Snickers

Must be from cutting down all those chocolate logs.

Coat. I'll get (and steal your sweaties from the pockets).

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Re: Snickers

Who would keep a Scotsman in his pocket?

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Re: Snickers

The Sassenachs, just can't help themselves can they, lol...

Mines the one with "You'll never take our Freedom".

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My server room is full

of lovely yorkie bars and wispas

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Anonymous Coward

Re: My server room is full

& nicely cooled as well, I take it?

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Re: My server room is full

Do you have any jobs going there?

I promise not to touch the Yorkie bars. If you eat too many you'll either break your teeth or your fingers on them, so they'll need health and safety stickers. You must wear safety goggles when eating them. Also you need a diversity awareness officer, to deal with the sexual discrimination inherent in the Yorkie marketing.

But quality control is required for the Wispas. You've got to make sure they're being stored correctly, so as not to deteriorate over time. I suggest a testing regime of one Wispa per hour, just to make sure that nothing goes out of parameters. And for that job, I can think of no-one better qualified than myself. I promise to dedicate myself to maintaining your supply of Wispas in tip-top condition.

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Meh

Weirdly ...

this doesn't trouble me ... since hitting 30, I have pretty much lost my sweet tooth.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Weirdly ...

The same thing happened to my wife: are you pregnant?

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Happy

Re: Weirdly ...

Working high stress IT jobs for the last 20 years, my need for comfort eating has shot through the fugging roof!

Judging by the other comments here, I am not alone!

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Anonymous Coward

PANIC BUYING

I can not stock it shead as that got 231 jerry can's in there. I going to have full up the living room that only space I have left with all my PANIC BUYING. Well I have get rid of XBox and Wii games just store to chocolate bars. I think at least 40000's choco bars and be able to survive the fortnight.

Please dont have BEER CRISIS as there is no room left at my place I would not be able to walk though hall way.

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Angel

People can always buy Cadbury's Cadbury which is predominantly solidified palm fat and 'flavour'.

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Chocolate

As someone who can't stand the stuff, I just think "whatever". If it was a salmiak shortage...

I wouldn't look at "Bootleg" in a different way again.

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JDX
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IT Angle

David Guest. ha!

While this is a serious matter, what does it have to do with IT? I really don't think "IT types eat chocolate" qualifies.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: David Guest. ha!

You obviously work alone then? Not one afternoon goes by in my Unix/DB team dept I work in without someone whipping out some sort of chocolate covered treat to share with the rest of the team over mid-afternoon tea break! If chocolate becomes scarce, there is going to be a serious downtown on our service calls answered and cleared stats!

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Go

What does chocolate have to do with IT?

What does a bell have to do with Pavlov's dog?

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WTF?

Or what?

There won't be enough chocolate? Big whoop.

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Holmes

Can't they get it...

from the same sewage filled gutter Cadbury do?, (ref Armando Iannucci observation 2005/06 or sometime).

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Anonymous Coward

Swiss chocolate FTW !!!!!!!!

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Coat

No chocolate? cant says i'd notice.

hopefully there'll be a load of chocolate deprived women seeking copmfort elsewhere :)

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Joke

You'll notice because the chocolate-deprived women will also be frantic, screeching and totally hyper-stressed.

In these conditions, the only comfort you'll give will be that of a scratching pad for cats.

I wish you lots of fun.

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