FAIL - the most incompetent IT pros

Commentards! We are researching an article on incompetent IT pros. What is the most stupid FAIL you have seen from a co-worker or ... cough ... what is the most stupid mistake you have made. This could make a good story - but we need your help to make it fly.

The most incompetent contract programmer...

... I ever met was fired from the large Govt contract I was on a bit over 30 years ago. He evidently didn't know that a COBOL paragraph falls through to the next paragraph because all his paragraphs ended with GO TO NAME-OF-NEXT-PARAGRAPH. He was famous for arriving at work late, followed by working late and claiming overtime. Other contractors who knew him said that over several years he'd never been known to deliver a working program: he'd always managed to resign before his work was tested or inspected.

depends on what you mean by incompetent...

I used to work with a person who did the same thing every day. He'd park in the office lot (but worked in the manufacturing building), walk to his desk (about 1/8mi) stopping for coffee on the way. Once there, he'd check his email and then drink coffee and read the newspaper until lunchtime. He'd go go lunch (probably... corporate security never said) and not return until 4:30, in time to finish the paper, have another cup of coffee, and then leave for home at the end of the day.

And he did this every day, but no one really knew how long this had been going on.

Rather than re-type them ...

First old post: "That's the switch, they do that!"

Second old post: "A shower of Sparks."

Third old post: "Unclear on the concept of recycling."

Backup FAIL

I knew an IT manager who was too lazy to walk upstairs each morning to the server room to check the backup and change the tape. Instead, he delegated the job to the office junior. He told the poor girl that if the tape had been ejected from the drive, the backup was complete and to change it.

Unfortunately for all concerned, she got the tapes mixed up and ArcServe promptly spat them out asking for the correct tape, by which time she was on her way back downstairs to her desk.

It seemed nobody ever bothered to check the backup logs or the tapes, so they went for months without actually backing the server up.

Needless to say, the IT manager concerned had to answer some awkward questions when the server was damaged in a fire and it was found that all the backup tapes were useless.

Last I heard, he was running a burger bar.

Maybe you should just post a link to thedailywtf? ;-)

Very recently ...

One of our customers called up to say they had truncated the part table and could we recover it for them, please ... We asked where was their backup and they responded with "What is a backup?"

One of the lads I work with managed to move planets and stars to recover enough of the data for the customer to continue trading.

I can top anybodies.

Better late than never.

I think I can trump everybody elses, but nobody will believe i'm not making this up. I could provide collaborative proof from other IT Professionals if there is ever a "worst hundred IT professionals ever" competition, however until such a point I would prefer to remain firmly anon.

My submission for most incompetent IT pro had the following setup:-

1) a domain, but with local profiles across the entire place, not stored centrally.

2) Users weren't allowed to change their passwords.

3) All passwords were the same; username0, so everybody knew each others passwords.

4) Everybody was a local admin.

5) Backups were performed by periodically burning a copy of C:/ from the server to CD. Data was on D:/

6) He built the computers himself, and didn't buy licenses for windows or office.

7) He didn't see the point of anti virus software. Until bugbear hit the network.

8) He then went and bought 60 copies of norton from PC world. The home edition, with no central management, this being the OBVIOUS choice. Later politely queried about the lack of central management, he said that the salesdroid in PC world tried to sell that as well but there was "no point" in centrally managing them, and it was more expensive.

9) He then bought another 25 copies of McAfee to cover the rest of his machines, because they ran out of Norton boxes in PC world(!)

10) All of the previously mentioned home AV products updated individually...

11) Over what when finally replaced in 2007 was probably the countries last kilostream connection (128k)

11a) his users had been complaining about slow internet. He told them it was a problem with the websites they were visiting and not the line, since it had 1:1 contention!

12) His site actually had fibre thanks to the previous tenant. A 10MB leased line actually worked out cheaper than the kilostream did.

13) Upon checking that the firewall wasn't configured with a static external IP when installing the new line we discovered that the firewall rules table consisted of "allow * from interface.external to interface.internal and the same in reverse. After choking, laughing to the point of tears and then panicking we'd be blamed for the settings and performing one quick firewall config later, a colleague commented that it (the firewall) had been one f****** expensive router. Why was it setup that way? Previously it had been blocking connections so he changed the rules to allow all of the traffic through.

14) The management once took advantage of his absence while he was off on holiday and bought us in to "cover" for him. We diligently sorted through what could only be described as a heap of paperwork and neatly filed and dealt with anything that was outstanding from the users as well as a *couple* of configuration issues that we thought inappropriate that sent him into an apoplectic fit when he returned.

15) Those outstanding issues from his users? One example.

A user had sent a memo requesting a new mouse because of problems with it. (roller ball mice installed since he didn't like those newfangled glowing mice. He didn't know what to do if they picked up lots of dirt like the ball ones.)

We bought a box of spares since he didn't stock "unnecessary" things like spares. I diligently took the user a spare mouse and cheerily said to him that I had his replacement mouse. The user looked at me blankly and said that he hadn't requested a new mouse.

I apologised, thinking I was at the wrong desk (despite directions and a description of the user) and said I was looking for user with the name in the "from" field in the memo. The user looked baffled and said that was him. I said that I had a memo to the IT manager asking for a new mouse. He denied sending it, I waved it. He asked to see it, and I handed it over.

He stared at the memo incredulously before exclaiming "I sent this memo TWO YEARS AGO!".

I asked if the mouse was still a problem, he replied somewhat flabbergasted that it was and he'd just gotten used to it. I smiled, held up the mouse and told him that it was his lucky day.

16) He didn't do network printers. Every computer had it's own printer installed locally.

17) Plenty of those printers were inkjets, because they were "cheaper" and they needed to print colour. (about once every thousand pages, roughly)

18) All of the previous printers were different models to deny any opportunity for bulk buying on cartridges/toner.

19) He actually had a leased colour copier that could double as a network printer. We ran a CAT5 cable to it to put it on the network, and then added the drivers onto the server before explaining to the users how to print to it and the requirement for colour printers on the desktops evaporated.

How did he last so long? Father of one of the partners, who got him the job. I expect that he's still there.

As you can imagine, I could probably continue for some while however I think I win already.

*gulp*

Whilst a senior IT Manager for a huuuuuge Japanese company, I was demonstrating our amazing new UPS capabilities to some visiting dignitaries from Japan. All well and good, or so I thought.

Rather than pull the power out of a particular UPS, I pulled the power, er, out of the back of a very important server.

How we laughed...

Cream Cake Anyone

Back in the days of old, I did some works experience in a City Councils computer ops suite. It was my first experience of an air conditioned envrionment.

A week into this placement, one of the secretaries was arranging a farewell party and though as it was nice and cool.

Does anyone remember removable disk pack? This lady decided to plonk a gateux on top of one of these units without realising exactly why there is air conditioning. The gateux decided to "dissolve" all over the drive unit. What a mess.

Warehouse flood

Company moved to new location within the same area. Build new Office w/ 250K Square foot Warehouse complex. My I.T. Director got buried in e-mail from corporate regarding the new facilities, 2.3K to be exact.

Fail number one, upon installing the new diesel backup generator the installing company fires up the generator for load testing and cracks the head on the diesel engine.

Fail number two, in the new warehouse since the I.T.. Director never answered any e-mails, NO floor drains were installed in the warehouse. This is fine, UNTIL, an operator on a Raymond Reach is navigating through the warehouse and takes out a fire line. A month later in exactly the same spot another Raymond Reach operator takes out the same fire line in exactly the same spot.

Fail three was when i was working in the server room and didn't realize that they had plugged the whole server cabinet in a power bar. One miss step in the server room....