Everyone needs a toilet break
But this is taking the piss.
An IT worker caught on camera urinating on the chairs of female colleagues has turned himself into local police and been charged with criminal offences. Raymond Charles Foley, 59, was initially dismissed from his IT job at US company Farm Bureau Financial Services after being busted for urinating, in a strange cat like sexual …
But this is taking the piss.
$4500 in damages for "several chairs"? That place needs to buy less expensive chairs. And maybe more expensive urinals.
Its all fun and games until someone pisses on the rocks in the sauna a few hours before you go in.
Or just as bad someone hours ago pissed in the elevator you need to take up 27 floors or worst of all its never good when you sit on a carpet seat on a public bus and immediately feel your butt get wet (oh wait that might not be urine, nm).
... but it's just a wee offense
... on Terrabella in Mountain View, following the monthly "last Friday beer bust" in the Laser Level line at Spectra Physics, one of the 30-something female assemblers was observed to be squatting on the desk of the CuteYoungThing[tm] receptionist/division secretary. We thought she was trying to hide from [something], and pretended we didn't see her behind the glass.
Come Monday morning the receptionist/secretary's little office reeked of stale urine ... Lots, and lots of stale urine.
Turned out that the 30-something was jealous because the CuteYoungThing[tm] was dating her ex-boyfriend ...
SPAYING, SPLAYING, and SPRAYING...
Your seat gets pissed on if he thinks you are attractive.
Your seat gets left alone if he thinks you are ugly.
The dry-seat brigade must be as angry as the soggy set!
<-- My kind of piss.
"<-- My kind of piss."
You drink Carling?
Ah yes, truly the worst of the cheap lagers.
Nope, that would be Fosters
No way, not Fosters!
"The dry-seat brigade must be as angry as the soggy set!"
That would depend entirely upon whether the pisser in question is considered desireable or if he's just 'that creepy IT guy'. Given that he's fairly close to retirement age and clearly well on his way to wearing the dirty old man badge in his golden years, I'm guessing he's the latter.
Golden years.... fnarr fnarr
Sure. Nothing gets women more annoyed than *not* being the lusted after by a post-middle-age IT creep with the urine fixation. I bet many of his male colleagues feel slighted too. He's certainly a catch worth getting in a fluster about, whatever your orientation!
What does the Flying Spaghetti Monster have to do with this?
Fosters mixed with Budweiser.
You obviously haven't partaken in the never-ending variety of "Light" beers available in the states... although there is also the every wonderful "Malt Liquor" (still not sure what that means other than "cheap, always comes in oversized cans/bottles and tastes like ass").
There are a lot of these that make Fosters look like Pilsen Urquell in comparison.
As a female with that kind of nutcase in the office, I'd be perfectly happy to be considered "ugly" by that kind of individual. Since he sounds like he'd be stunning looking himself - not.
Well, I'm certainly not stepping in to defend Fosters.
You have strange characters littering you post, El Reg, you may want to fix that.
what he said ^^
Sorted - thanks.
"urinated on several chairs, causing about US$4,500 in damages"
Corporate procurement spending upwards of $1,000 per employee on chairs? Maybe some of that cash would be better direct towards, y'know, hiring employees that don't have a penchant for relieving themselves at co-workers' desks?
An alarming item to find on your hiring questionnaire!
Amen to that.....
Decent chairs cost upwards of £700 each. Although if this guy pissed on an Aeron it's not really a big deal, just wipe it down with disinfectant!
No, they really dont...
The chairs in our office have a list price of £1000, although obviously, buying 300+ of them at once, we didn't pay full price.
Not far off.
You can get 'an office chair' for £75. If you're under the age of 40 and/or intend to make other people sit on it then it might suffice. For six months to a year at least.
You can get 'an office chair' for £150. If you're under the age of 40 and/or intend to make other people sit on it then it might suffice. Could last a couple of years.
*But* if you're 40 or over and intend to sit in the seat yourself then anything less than £400 is a poor choice. £700 quid for a chair that someone of advancing age has to sit on for eight hours, five days a week is a worthwhile investment. In my opinion no-one over the age of 40 should be required to sit in a chair that can't be independently adjusted for height,pan depth/tilt,back tilt,lumbar and arm rests. You don't get chairs that offer all that without spending some serious money.
I would also suggest that anyone over the age of 40 should be offered a free ergonomic assessment every couple of years. A really far-seeing employer would do that at 30 and consider upgrading the seat if appropriate. Sitting is not 'restful'. It's surprisingly stressful on the human body and 'any old chair' is injurious to your health.
P.S.:I'm not an ergonomics expert nor office furniture salesman. I'm just a 45 year-old whose body won't tolerate sub-standard seating any longer without aching.
Rubbish mate. I'm 41 and my arse is the same as when I was 20 - just fatter obviously.
I sit in all sorts of chairs while at work. It is your posture that counts, not the chair.
Yes its nice to have a megachair, but it won't help your aching back if you don't sit correctly.
They do when you and I buy them to pamper MP's backsides, a full 2 years after the corruption exposure they all got away with scot free: http://goo.gl/zwtgT
He's right. I used to have a crappy £150 chair until I sat in the "pregnant lady" £500 chair. That thing was mint. A couple of moans to the union later and we all got decent chairs - much better on the posture and aches.
The posture is part of it but if you have a really wonky chair, your body will automatically compensate for the wonkyness and adopt a weird (and possibly painful) posture. I had one yesterday that looked fine but was subtly out of kilter and my back started aching after 15 minutes. Swapping for another one (same model, less wonky) immediately relieved the pain. So a good chair is one that enables you to adopt a good posture and can also survive an office environment many years without breaking. Such chairs are not cheap but well worth the investment.
Bang on. £150, possibly £200 tops. I have bought 'fancy' chairs from Argos, PC World (yes, I know) over the years for around £150 a pop. They last years, have nice leather, and tilting gas struts (very important - can't stand non-tilting seats). I've never even seen, and can't even begin to imagine, what a £500 chair might look like, or would offer me in terms of comfort that I don't already get from my Argos jobbie. And I'm 48. And weigh 15 stone.
I'm sorry, but at those prices it's obviously all about the trim and finish. All well and good if you can afford it, but don't tell us you need finist Argyle crotch sproggets hand-knitted in the Outer Hebrides or else your life isn't complete.
" urinated on several chairs, causing about US$4,500 in damages."
That's the bit that jumped out for me as well. Either 'several' is being diplomatic and the guy was hosing every chair in sight and plenty on the carpet, or the employees of this company have state-of-the-art vibro-massaging chairs.
Or the procurement department are muppets / have a nudge-wink "special relationship" with the suppliers. Or, given that apparently the 'victims' were the hottest babes in the office, maybe the procurement department were giving them state-of-the-art vibro-massaging chairs in lieu of 'services rendered'
"employees of this company have state-of-the-art vibro-massaging chairs."
Eh...that would only be one or two chairs at $4500. I looked into those about five years ago. The cheap ones that were uncomfortable but vibrated were $300 and the ones that you could actually stand to sit in for hours at a time were arount $2000.
The chairs in my office are about $500 apiece and have been here longer than me. Probably a lot longer than me given that they all went in for repairs about five years ago. Given the longevity and the comfort of these chairs, that's not a bad investment at all. Add in the carpet under the chairs (which no doubt got moist) and it doesn't take many at that price to rack up $4500 in damages.
I sit on an Aeron at work now, I used to sit on £100 specials in all my previous firms. At least once a year I would miss at least a day of work due to back spasms when I was in my previous firms. Since switching to an Aeron at work (and at home as well), I have never had time off from back spasms. Given what I'm paid, the £700 investment in the aeron at work (and the same for home) has more than paid off in lack of lost productivity.
Yeah, that's the way forward, imply it is all frippery and lace. I'm surprised you didn't say they were iChairs.
If you want to imagine what a £500 chair might look like, go to any reputable furniture store (no, 'Argos' and 'PC World' are not 'reputable furniture stores').
Here is a website you can look at to further spur the imagination, with a wide selection of quality chairs:
The main points to consider:
Higher quality workmanship
Longer warranties - some Vitra chairs have 50 year warranties
More scientific ergonomic designs
Installation and training included
I had the exact same thought, making me very jealous indeed. If someone peed on my office chair it would cause about 10p in damages.
I think the problem is a seat you have 'to sit on for eight hours, five days a week' - the job needs to be designed better, and the employee in this job has to take breaks when they run around a little
He might have left a large one instead
I hope that they washed all of the coffee cups as well.
"...urinating, in a strange cat like sexual marking technique, on the chairs of co-workers which he deemed attractive."
Was he attracted to the chairs (which) or the co-workers (whom)?
Really, still this? Maybe it's time for pedants to get over the fact that the word "whom" is no longer part of the language.
Whom is definitely still part of the language. It's in the wicktionary.
Surely it's still part of the language, simply rarely required by most of us within our present patterns of speech and, regardless, not here without rephrasing ("to whom he was attracted"). No, I rarely use the word, just pedantic. Not necessarily correct, just pedantic.