And it's here, on the AM waveband...
[put your Sir David Attenborough voice on]
...that we find one of nature's most deadly creatures. Secure in it's small, dimly-lit studio the Australian Radio Personality fires millions of poisonous barbs into the airwaves, completely unseen by it's victims. It feeds on a steady stream of cash that flows to it from advertisers and what are termed 'mates' in the nations government. No female of the species has ever been spotted, though there are stories amongst the natives of Sydney that the call of a female can be heard in the early mornings. The Australian Radio Personality, or 'maaaayte' as it is called by the natives, shares a symbiotic relationship with another dangerous Australian species - the Bogan.
The Bogan is a unique creature in that it's entire set of senses, indeed it's very thought processes are actually supplied by the Australian Radio Personality. The Bogan by itself has no intellect or thought processes whatsoever, and if it fails to hear the ARP every morning the Bogan cannot do something as basic as get out of bed to feed itself or it's young. If left too long, say for 6 hours or so, the Bogan is in great danger of starting to think for itself; tragically this is almost always immediately fatal. Luckily for the Bogan, the call of the ARP is very loud, and is frequently mixed with the enticing calls of other creatures such as the Fuudy, the Criggit and the Orse.
Unfortunately this means that any creature actually wanting to have new ideas or think for itself in Australia must either permanently wear industrial ear protection or move to another continent entirely - which is often the best solution.