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back to article ISS 'nauts take to the escape pods in Russian sat-prang debris peril

'Nauts crewing the International Space Station were forced to take to the escape capsules over the weekend, as a chunk of wreckage from a mysterious satellite collision in 2009 hurtled towards the orbiting outpost. Fortunately as it turned out the speeding fragment passed by more than 11km from the station. Normally the ISS …

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Do they carry out the drills in the proper way? With red lights flashing everywhere, a siren going off and a computerised voice instructing everyone to abandon ship?

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Alert

don't forget the self destruct

No self respecting space faring ship/station has every been abandoned without a lengthy process to initiate self destruct, and then having an ominous computer countdown to annihilation as everyone scrambles to get off the ship/station. Usually results in an individual cancelling self destruct with seconds to go...

make for a nice firework display but probably would not help the debris field issue up there!

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Mushroom

Self-Destruct Voice: Thank you for pressing the self-destruct button. This ship will self-destruct in exactly two minutes and forty-five seconds.

President Skroob: You've got to stop it. Is there any way to stop it?

Colonel Sandurz: I can't - it's irreversible.

President Skroob: Like my raincoat!

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Self-Destruct Voice: Ten... nine... eight... six...

President Skroob: Six? What happened to seven?

Self-Destruct Voice: Just kidding!

President Skroob, Colonel Sandurz, Dark Helmet: [They growl in annoyance]

Self-Destruct Voice: [Skroob, Sandurz, and Helmet are mouthing the numbers alone with the recording] Six... five... four... three... two... one...

[they close their eyes and grimace]

Self-Destruct Voice: Have a nice day.

President Skroob, Colonel Sandurz, Dark Helmet: [open their eyes] Thank you.

[They close them again]

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<SIRENBELLHORN>

Sorry, I didn't mean to do that. Please call me Eddie if it will help you relax.

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Mushroom

I vote for the computerized harbinger of doom from "Aliens"

"You now have eleven minutes to get to minimum safe distance".....

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a proper drill?

Naahhh... as I recall, everybody knows their job and, in the event of an evacuation emergency, just does it, without any klaxons or flashing lights or robot voices or anything. Kind of a disappointment, really.

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Thumb Up

MOVIE SIGN....!

I vote for the computerized harbinger of doom from "Aliens"

"You now have eleven minutes to get to minimum safe distance"...

Actually, I always loved the sudden outbreak of chaos when the flashing lights and buzzer alarm sounded for "movie sign" aboard the ship on MST3K.

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Alert

Step up to Red Alert!

Sir, are you absolutely sure? It does mean changing the bulb.

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Alert

Forget Red

Let's go all the way up to Brown Alert!

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Joke

Space junk

Should of asked the Chinese to blow it up

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Anonymous Coward

(H) Purple alert! Purple alert!

(L) What`s a purple alert?

(H) Well, it`s not as bad as a red alert, but a bit worse than a blue alert... sort of a mauve alert.

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Anonymous Coward

Holly: Rude alert! Rude alert! An electrical fire has knocked out my

voice-recognition unicycle! Many Wurlitzers are missing from my

database! Abandon shop! This is not a daffodil! Repeat: This is

not a daffodil!

Rimmer: Well, thankfully, Holly's unaffected.

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Coat

oh no, marooned in space !

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Coat

Escape pods

Awww, I wanted them to launch and then crash land in the Tatooine - sorry Sahara desert!

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Escape pods

Escape pods

Awww, I wanted them to launch and then crash land in the Tatooine - sorry Sahara desert!

.......which would inevitably result in "combing the desert"

http://filmfreakcentral.net/dvdreviews/spaceballscap.jpg

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