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back to article Testicle-boiling new iPad ignites fanboi fury

US consumer organization Consumer Reports has backed punters’ assertions that the new iPad can overheat in normal use. Owners of the fondleslab have been complaining on various Apple forums (this discussion, for example, runs to 21 pages) that the device can become “burning hot” under various conditions. As one user wrote: “ …

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Anonymous Coward

ouch

Ouch ouch ouch ouch!

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Anonymous Coward

Re: ouch

Hot Hot Hot Hot

Not as hot as a cup of coffee though

Made up story like Antennagate. Great for page hits but short on substance

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Anonymous Coward

Re: ouch

Let's compare it to an Android tablet...

Ooops! No one cares about them. No click through for ad revenue there.

However, if there was a compelling Android tablet ,,,

Ah forget it

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Re: ouch

"Ooops! No one cares about them"

No one cares about 45% of the market? More like there aren't any overheating problems fanboi...

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Anonymous Coward

Re: ouch

45% of which market? Your home?

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Trollface

Re: ouch

How to make an Android tablet compelling for an Apple fanboy:

1) Disable most of the useful features

2) Double the price

3) Tell them they won't be cool without it

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Anonymous Coward

Re: ouch

45% ?

Which tablet maker sold 7.6 million units during the last quarter? Dream on Fandroid

Not all of them put together. That's who

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Anonymous Coward

iPad 3, scorchio!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MuSPdsPWit0

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Anonymous Coward

"45% of which market?"

Thanks for that. A rare occasion to wish upvotes came with a "deluxe" setting.

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Re: iPad 3, scorchio!

Fefefefefefefefefefe...chris waddle.

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Holmes

Re: ouch @ Chet Mannly

Apple sells in 5 days more than Amazon sold since the Fire has been out and Google doesn't count the Fire as part of Android. Hmmm, yet you say 45%. Does anyone still believe this crap, there is an iPad market and a gadget market and in the gadget market Amazon is the new king.

This is so fucking stupid, there are only 2 companies that can succeed in the tablet market, Apple and Microsoft because they are the only companies who are taking it seriously. Android will be left aside if it only supplies dumb phone+ and thats all it does. All the idiots will say "only fanbois buy it", well look at betamax, jaguar, dreamcast and HD-DVD, they are dead. VHS, GameBoy, Playstation and Blue-ray won.

You can not win or survive on Android by producing tablets when faced with competition that is determined to provide support and work out what the customer needs (not wants as everyone wants a dragon or unicorn). If you don't believe Apple have a clue or that Microsoft are willing to turn on a penny, more fool you.

Google have to buy Motorola and say fuck everyone else, we will attack the market and fuck everyone else who is using Android or Android is dead in the tablet market. Imagine you work in a company and you have Samsung with "we will support for never" or Apple "we have a track record", who will you choose?

When you have to sign the check, you will think "Is my job on the line if i fuck up". At this moment there is only one safe choice. How the hell do you think Microsoft got there monopoly and raped IBM. They gave people safety. I don't know if Apple can do this with the iPad but it's fucking clear that in a business, you would be an idiot to bet on an Android from one manufacture.

This is why there are so few apps for ICS on tablets. It's not the fragmentation on tablets that is the problem, it's the commitment. When HP gives up, Microsoft is saying they will spend billions, BB is fucked and no Android tablet is getting traction or updates while Apple is showing commitment (100 billion helps). What's the safe and smart thing to do?

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FAIL

Re: ouch

7.6 million sheep, interesting.

Actually, it's probably 2.533 million sheep as they bought three iPads (Not the kind women use, but close) to cover if they lose it, and to brainwash their child 24/7.

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Re: ouch @ Chet Mannly

"well look at betamax, jaguar, dreamcast and HD-DVD, they are dead. VHS, GameBoy, Playstation and Blue-ray won."

So, you are saying that Apple will win the tablet war, and based on previous experience, the inferior formats win?

Okay, thanks for that clarification.

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Re: ouch @ Chet Mannly

I understood every word you said but still haven't got a clue what your trying to get at.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: ouch

Don't worry, A generation will fix it.

The new iPad3 hotspot is an intentional design feature that Apple were forced to include by the US government. It's designed so when it's on the lap, it reduces sperm count of Apple owners and stops them breeding.

The US government were extremely worried by the low intelligence of the Apple buying population, and this is designed to restore the balance.

If you have watched Idiotcracy, then you will know the dangers of allowing Apple owners to continue to breed.

The Brawndo iPad3, it's got a retina display and electrolytes, as that's what plants crave.

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Re: ouch @ Chet Mannly

Hold on a minute, Jaguar vs Gameboy? That doesn't .. oh, you mean the Atari Lynx.

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Re: ouch

Well, when you say 'cool'....

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Flame

@Moose

This argument is pathetic and playground enough, don't get me started on you about BD clearly being a superior format to HD-DVD. :-p

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Anonymous Coward

Re: ouch

mmmm. barbecued lamp chops

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Silver badge

Re: ouch

116F - it's the *new* cool.

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Rob
Bronze badge
Go

@Chet Re: ouch

Your 45% figure is in relation to the Smartphone market where Android is indeed saturating the market over the iOS phones. The Tablet market is entirely different at the moment, until the manufacturers produce android tablets at varying price points (like the smartphone market) I can't see Apple budging from the top spot in the tablet market for awhile yet.

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Meh

Re: ouch @ a_been

You make it sound as if there was a need for anyone in any business to sign for a tablet.

If you sign off the expense for tablets for workers that formerly got by nicely with a clipboard and a couple of sheets of A4, and now save the paper and destroy working time by getting too distracted to actually do something because they're shooting birds at pigs, well, yes, your job could be 'on the line'.

And so it should be.

Tablets are a fashion article, with a few exceptions. This is good for fashionable companies like Apple which has the power to make every barrista feel like an artist. Great business idea, wonderful, no doubt!

But trying to justify the success by stating how essential the support is in a productive environment is just, in my opinion, delusional. Someone who is creative with an iPad is also creative without. Someone who can't make a good movie without an iPad will not turn out 'The Shawshank Redemption' using one.

Someone give me a professional application where it's essential to have an iPad.

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Joke

Re: ouch @ a_been

iPad Tester

Just saying!

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Anonymous Coward

Re: ouch

Story now in the Daily Mail!

Enough said.

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Re: ouch

116F is how crApple define " iCool "

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Bronze badge

Re: ouch

Maybe the NEW red eye in Retina is the T-1000 jumping over the 800 series?

Call it "Therminator"

Cure: Visine: it gets the red out...

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Anonymous Coward

Re: ouch @ Chet Mannly

If all I'm looking for is an e-reader, I'm not buying the iPad3, I'll stick with a Kindle or Fire (although the price is still too high for what they do). Most people can't afford the cheapest iPad AND Apple isn't going to release a lower-class version, so it's a moot point. Amazon is targetting the Casio market. That's why e-readers have basic web browsing and play mp3's. Apple is dominating because they have a structured platform that is easy to use and they have snob appeal. If android ever gets its act together, it may not make as much money as Apple, but it can definately outsell the iPad by selling the same experience for less money.

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Re: ouch @ a_been

With supporting infrastructure, *any* job that needs mobile or on-site data entry or data access has the potential to be easier (and potentially cheaper) when done with a tablet.

That's a lot of applications, including medicine, logistics, security, personnel, sales, and many, many more,

Of course you *can* use paper. It just takes a lot longer and is likely to be more error prone.

Whether you'd want to use an iPad or some other tablet is a different issue. But the point stands - the form factor is more efficient and convenient than a laptop. But it offers most of the same benefits, plus a few of its own.

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Holmes

Re: ouch @ a_been

All right, Ben, you win. I didn't think of that.

Hat off to you.

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FAIL

@ TheOtherHobbes

Your '*any* job that needs mobile or on-site data entry or data access' is already neatly serviced (and for quite a bit cheaper) by hand-held data terminals. They have also mostly got (depending on model, of course) built-in bar code scanners and a touch screen for the recipients signature. They can take the rough knockings that 'mobile or on-site data entry and access' faces each day.

I'm sure you have seen them in use at your local supermarket for stock control and reordering; if you should happen to work in a position that allows you to sign for any delivery, you might even have touched one. Most couriers and parcel services use them. Most of these are made by Symbol, a Motorola company. They do the job wonderfully.

Again a comparison: Dyson vacuum cleaners. I've read of people who said: 'Great hoovers! I bought 4 in the last 8 years! They're soo good!' Have you ever seen a professional cleaning company use them? Here in the UK most cleaners use Numatics, because you can kick them down the stairs and they'll still work where a Dyson would have shattered in pieces so small that even their Hepa filter would have let them through.

And coming to medicine: If I ever see a doctor* standing in front of my hospital bed looking up my symptoms on google, I'll start crawling as fast as I still can...

The right tool for the right job. Numatic for vacuum cleaning. Symbol for data entry. iPad for playing Angry Birds.

*Probably a Barrista who didn't like being an artist.

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Happy

Re: ouch

>Which tablet maker sold 7.6 million units during the last quarter? Dream on Fandroid

Gotta, say, this post, and the lot preceding it, reaches a new high in the fanboi/android sux wars. Shining rhetoric, brilliant wit, cutting edge insights & well-argued opinions.

My daddy is better than your daddy! Nah, nah, nah, nah!

Unfortunately, verrry slowly, the rest of the posts start having interesting things to say.

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Silver badge

And yet...

... nobody seems to mind having their nuts roasted by cheap laptops. Odd, that.

Also, would this be the same "Consumer Reports" that implied that the laws of physics apply only to the iPhone 4, and no other phone sees signal attenuation, ever, regardless of how it's held? I ask only because my particular iPhone 4 appears never to have received their memo.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: And yet...

Mine does not run hot.

Apparently someone in California left one in the car in the sun turned it on and felt it was hot....hmmm.

If it does apple will supply a software fix.

If it melts I'll get a new one.

Or is it just a non story hyped for headlines?

However if mine explodes I will post.

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@Sean Timarco Baggaley

Cheap laptops? The laptop that currently attempts to burn my nuts off every time I ask it to do something more intensive than pick its nose is a MacBook Pro. Might be because the cooling/ventilation through a thin slit in the monitor hinge is a bloody stupid idea done so their machine stays pretty, I dunno. Either way, there's a reason the cat takes every available opportunity to sit on it.

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FAIL

Re: And yet...

Sean, your devotion to the dark side is admirable but given that even Apple have admitted the aerial design was flawed your making yourself look like a bit of a numpty.

Whilst all phones can have the signal degraded by the meat sack holding it the Apple design was inherently flawed.

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Happy

Re: @Sean Timarco Baggaley

The reason the MBP gets so hot under heavy use is that Apple don't allow the fan to run fast enough. They seem to think that being quiet is more important than temperature control, a habit they picked up with the original Macintosh. Just install a third-party fan controller - I use smcFanControl - and set your own, more sensible, fan speeds. It may be a bit noisier, but you get to keep your goolies.

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Re: @Sean Timarco Baggaley

I did install a more sensible fan controller. It's called Linux. :-D

Good ol' rEFIt, letting me tri-boot the machine. Incidentally, Mac OS X is the system of the three I use least...

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Re: @Sean Timarco Baggaley

I have laptops from Dell, HP, Sony, Acer, Toshiba and Apple. The only one that gets hot enough to be uncomfortable, and sometimes painful is the macbook pro.

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Anonymous Coward

wow

You must be important with a laptop collection like that!

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Re: And yet...

You know, I love how when the antenna problems appeared for iPhone 4, all the fanboys obtained physics and engineering degrees overnight - which allowed them to explain to friends in detail the technical aspects of how signal attenuation in mobile phones works.

Presumably they're all swatting for their masters right now in thermal dynamics to be able to explain how batteries produce more heat with less internal resistance.

Android, because it's so simple you don't need to be a rocket scientist to justify owning one!

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Mushroom

ihot

Pushing the envelope into the fire here....?

SuperHi resolution direction does puzzle me, your carrying a lot more energy around for a silly number of pixels..? I'd rather have better/more functionality and extended life. Magic, thanks.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: ihot

There's an Android/Win8 tablet that will do that for you

Oh! Wait a minute, no there isn't

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Re: ihot

Transformer Prime gets 16 hours of battery life.

That's more than 10.

Boy the fanbois are out in force today...

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@Chet

The prime only gets 16 hour when you attach the external battery.

You can also attach an external battery to the iPad and get 20 hours! I have one and it cost less than £20.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: @Chet

That can't be a genuine accessory!

Hiss!

Unclean! UNCLEAN!

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Anonymous Coward

Re: @Metavisor

ah, but YOU look like a douche using that funny dongle and wire thing, where as I just look like I'm using a really slim laptop.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: @Metavisor

There's no dongle or wire, it's a cover with a battery.

Looks like a regular notepad.

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Re: ihot

I don't really know much about Transformer Prime but I'm sort of looking for an alternative to the iPad, so I thought I'd do a quick search.

I'm sorry - I don't care how good it is, I refuse to buy any product that is marketed to people like this:

http://eee.asus.com/en/eeepad/transformer-prime/features

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Anonymous Coward

@Chat

Ahh yes, the Transformer Prime, basically a broken laptop for people who don't need software.

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