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back to article The Register obtains covert snaps of Google's new London offices

Undercover Register snappers have penetrated Google's new London offices to bring you an early look at the type of working conditions the Chocolate Factory offers its London-based Ooompa Loompas. First off, there's a pom-pom creating room ... The results of their work are then placed inside the "conference teepee" to be …

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WOW!

My office is a basement with some dingy windows overlooking a rat infested open drain in Leeds.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: WOW!

You're lucky! I work in a basement just about as far away from a window as you can get.

Those booths look a bit - inappropriate - I can't think of a better word

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Re: WOW!

I work in a small office, hidden at the back of a school, with a lovely view of an air-conditioning machine (or three) and (just visible) the length of a long outside path to a brick building regularly trampled by screaming kids. If I really squint from the right angle, I can see the top of a dead tree. However, I now have an unrivalled knowledge of the outside cabling due to the fact that it all runs across buildings and into my view before coming into my office.

You people don't know you've lived until you've tried to code C with classes of nursery-age children tearing past your window while workmen trample all over your roof and rip up all your cables.

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Unhappy

Re: WOW!

Windows are overrated.

I've got a shiny, new 5th floor corner office that attracts light and heat in the same way that dead camels attract flies. I get a choice of windows closed and sweat or windows open and deafened by the pile-drivers, cranes and excavators working on the motorway tunnel construction outside. Oh and gassed by the diesel fumes from the honking great queue of trucks trying to get through the roadworks when the wind's in the right direction for added fun.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: WOW!

<yorkshire_accent>

Luxury. My office is a septic tank at the bottom of a rubbish tip.

</yorkshire_accent>

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Re: WOW!

<yorkshire_accent>

What I wouldn't do to work in a septic tank at the bottom of a rubbish tip!

Honestly, I have to catch my office, gut it using only a blunt stick and my own teeth, then crawl inside it to keep warm.

</yorkshire_accent>

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Rob
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Joke

Re: WOW!

<yorkshire_accent>

In my day, we used to have to build our office out of dung first before we could start work, then eat it at the end of the day and then pick up a piece of coal and a worm for the kids to eat on the way home.

</yorkshire_accent>

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Re: WOW!

My office overlooks Soi Cowboy in Bangkok ...

If you don't know what that is, be warned that it is NSFW.

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Re: WOW!

<yorkshire_accent>

Of course we have it tough,

there's 150 of us working in a shoe box in tthe middle of road. I have to get up at 10 o'clock at night, half an hour before I go to bed, eat a handful of cold poison, work 29 hours a day and pay development director for permission to come to work.

</yorkshire_accent>

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Re: WOW!

<yorkshire_accent>

That's nothing. I work at Foxconn.

</yorkshire_accent>

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Pint

Re: @Timmay

You win.

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@ Minophis, Timmay and Armando

*Applause*

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Anonymous Coward

Re: WOW! @TeeCee

"Windows are overrated."

Microsoft Windows especially so?

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Coat

Re: WOW!

Yorkshire mills were the inspiration for Foxconn! The only thing Foxconn did differently was stack the back-to-back workers cottages on top of one another to form huge dormitories and then dangerously overcrowd them.

Mine's the one labelled "Made in Yorkshire"

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Re: WOW!

Sealed seventies construction. Fresh air intake for the entire building is located in the loading dock.

I love the smell of monoxide in the morning. Really helps productivity.

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Coat

Re: WOW!

Screaming kids and heavily shod workmen, you don't know you're born mate, when I were a lad we'd an office in a converted Victorian grain-store beside a fire-station on the docks. the wind whistled through that place pushing the rats before it. There were days during the winter when it got down to -3...Kelvin the rats were so big there was 2 meals on them and the smell from the printing works down-stairs was worse than the noise... You tell that to young people today and they won't believe you (OK, it was Celcius and we never barbecued the rats, though I reckon they were closer to a hare than a rabbit in body mass, but otherwise not a word of a lie.)

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Paris Hilton

Re: WOW! ...... and NaNaNaNaNa to all that too only a short stroll away. Life's a bitch, eh?

Hi, Scott,

$100 says you wouldn't change it for the world. :-)

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Anonymous Coward

I used to work in a place vaguely reminiscent of that. In the cyclist photo, does the wavy wall have doors which face away into the building so you can't see them from the end of the corridor?

Good call on the drinking booths in the board room IMO.

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"I used to work in a place vaguely reminiscent of that."

The only place[1] I know that's vaguely reminscent of that is Portmeirion.

[1] Well, anywhere can be like that with LSD....

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Anonymous Coward

It's like 2001 again...

I used to work for a social networking site in London that had:

A secret 'granny flat' behind a BT phone box. Granny flat has nasty wallpaper, dinning table, ducks on the wall, wing-back chairs, projected views of various places as windows.

A torture/board room. In the middle was a table with rubber human organs under a sheet of glass.

*That submarine door, done it years ago!

Gibbet cages complete with bodies and nasty things

A Mexican jail

Cold war nuclear bunker

Tree house meeting room (on an indoor tree)

Indoor waterfall and much better places to sit/meet

US-style 1950's Snack bar/ coffee/tee wagon (inside)

Tropical/jungle areas

Gig room with bar area.

Google's interior designers appear to have either worked at the same place or been scanning a search engine...oh.

I wonder if any of your other readers have also worked in places where money wasn't a problem when it came to interior design?

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Unhappy

Re: It's like 2001 again..."...where money wasn't a problem ..."

Money can't buy good taste.

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Anonymous Coward

You may enter the Diary Room now.

Was the Big Brother theme intentional?

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Stop

Re: You may enter the Diary Room now.

Glad to see I'm not the only one who thought that.

Trying too hard to be stylish and ending up gaudy and impractical me thinks...

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Was anybody else slightly disapointed to find this wasn't a Playmobil reconstruction?

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First thing through my mind on seeing the headline was, "What? Friday already?"

Of course it would appear the decorator also thought it was Friday and spent a few hours at the pub.

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Anonymous Coward

Pub? The only pub this might have come from is one of those high class places in Soho. You know, the ones where the mirrors in the bathroom are mounted on a table and there are special room in the back where they keep the thai ladyboys.

I hear they're doing a booming trade now the tories are in power again.

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Not only that, but did anyone else take quite a while searching the first pictures for the playmobil characters?

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Devil

I wonder...

Who leaked those photos?

Kudos to the whistleblower, he is a person of magnificence!

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Happy

Office Plants

For all of the peeps in dingy basements and that, might I suggest the introduction of copious office plants. Many species are more than happy with low light levels and even the emissions from office devices such as laser printers etc. They really can improve the working environment to great effect and you can take pleasure in pampering them, even though many are low maintenance - plants generally respond well to some acknowledgement of their being there - nice :-)

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Pint

Re: Office Plants

IT Guys generally respond well to some acknowledgement of their being there too.

(Not counting when the email has quit, of course)

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WTF?

It makes me think

c.u.l.t

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Meh

Re: It makes me think

Completely Unrealistic, Like Theyalwaysare.

*cough*

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Pom-pom chairs and beanbags; great if you have short legs.

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Anonymous Coward

Seriously?

You think people who choose to work in that environment have any sense of dignity? It looks like a primary school on LSD. Works for the average Google employee I guess. Would love to see the photos of the nappy change room...............

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WTF?

Has anyone ever met any nice employee of Google UK?

Just a question, because I never have. I've met nice people who have worked or work for Microsoft, IBM, even Oracle occasionally, but never Google. Does Google UK have an HR policy that excludes nice people, or have just missed them? Everyone I've ever met who worked or works for Google UK has been a complete wanker: an arrogant and charmless cross between an autistic techie and the worst kind of Yellow Pages salesperson. How come?

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Meh

Re: Has anyone ever met any nice employee of Google UK?

Yups... brilliant too...

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Re: Has anyone ever met any nice employee of Google UK?

I would imagine working in an office that looks like that would do that to you after a while.

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Re: Has anyone ever met any nice employee of Google UK?

Ah... I know that

It's called "HP Syndrome"

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Hmmm...

Time to short the shares?

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Anonymous Coward

Daily Mail

How soon do you think these pics will be ripped off by the Daily Mail - this afternoon or tomorrow morning?

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jai
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Just what sort of party is this room intended for?

that scene out of Boondock Saints when they come in through the air con vent in the ceiling, twisted up in the rope, and spin round firing the 9mm's and waste all the russian mafia types that were sitting in there

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Re: Just what sort of party is this room intended for?

more likely the sort of party frequented by moustachioed Germans and their schone co-stars

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Re: Just what sort of party is this room intended for?

I wouldn't want to clean *that* mess up.

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Coat

Re: Just what sort of party is this room intended for?

I think Max Mosley has an invite.

The one with the summons in the pocket please.

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Rob
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Coat

Softplay

My kid loves soft play, I might take him along, I take it the sign-in sheet for parents is at reception. Could you point me in the direction of OFSTED report for this place?

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FAIL

Give me the dingy basement any day

I can't make up my mind if they are simply 'trying too hard' or really don't have a clue. It's like something a four year old would have vomited up.

I guess there are going to some bargains around London's furniture and charity shops in the coming weeks; "designer table and chair set; one chair missing". This is what happens when one takes 'concept' and turns it into reality. I've seen better results delivered on Changing Rooms.

Shudder.

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Anonymous Coward

Looks like a clash of cultures

1930s Berlin club

1950s Festival of Britain

1970s Abigails Party

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Anonymous Coward

What a load of bollox.

So who exactly is going to be using this? Those really hard working young middle management types with lots of creative energy who need their own space to come up with 'awesome' products?

I've worked at places like this and from my limited experience it just produces lazy work shy c*nts who'd rather be planning 'lunch' and their next squash game instead of getting some f*cking work done.

But, I guess if you've got loads of money to piss around with then good for them.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: What a load of bollox.

They'll just do a lot of daydreaming and then just rob their ideas off someone else.

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If the installation of a fountain in the foyer of HQ the death knell of a company - which it is - what does it mean when the whole office is tricked out like a nursery?

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