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back to article Apple to reveal plans on Monday for $97.6bn cash hoard

Apple released a brief announcement late Sunday afternoon, Cupertino time, that it would hold a conference call and webcast on Monday morning to talk about plans for its jumbo, humongous, Brobdingnagian, elephantine, and gargantuan cash hoard. That pile of cash, cash equivalents, and marketable securities sat at $97.6bn as of …

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Trollface

They could buy CERN just for a fraction of that stash...

How does The Apple Collider sound?

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Anonymous Coward

its business Jim

but not as we know it.....

Think of the good it could do if it were not destined for the pockets of shareholders.

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Coat

Re: They could buy CERN just for a fraction of that stash...

Sounds like you're holding it wrong to me.

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Anonymous Coward

Nice if governments could earn money like Apple instead of taking it.

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6

Yes, in a way that would be nice. But then we would be livestock for the government farmer. To be culled when we are no longer useful to the farmer.

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Happy

Apple and Philanthropy!?

"and maybe even – don't hold your breath – the establishment of an Apple Foundation philanthropic arm."

Now that would be genuinely good to see.

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Happy

Re: Good to see

Especially the face of the shareholders!

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Anonymous Coward

Sit on it

If I were an apple investor, I'd tell the board to carry on what it's been doing for the last ten years or so.

They should use the cash to lock up supplies of components. The cash mountain gives Apple the chance to get the talent or any startups it need to further it's ambitions.

As it is, I'm not a share holder and they can what ever they like.

Apples philanthropy has improved under Tim Cook, but it is a drop in the ocean compared to the amount of cash they have.

http://venturebeat.com/2012/02/02/apple-charity-efforts/

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I know.

They're going to buy an island with a volcano and set up a secret base with submarines and satellite weaponry. Scantily clad ladies and laser-tables will feature heavily.

"But beware of his generous pensions, plus three weeks paid vacation each year, and on Fridays the lunchroom serves hot dogs and burgers and beer."

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oh please

Please donate a large sum of it to the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation.

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I'd like to see them try and buy ARM to lock in that supply. This would spark a massive bidding war and my shares in ARM would go thorugh the roof.

mwahahahahaha

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Anonymous Coward

It would be interesting, especially as they were one of the founders of ARM.

Dunno how many shares they hold in ARM now though.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ARM_Holdings

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Coat

"mwahahahahaha"

Good. I expect an evil laugh from someone trying to start an ARMs race.....

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WTF?

It would never happen

The UK government would block a company as big and bullying as Apple buying out one of the UK's few successes.

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Anonymous Coward

Build assembly plants in the US

Buy Nintendo and rename it Pippin

Buy Greece and rename it; iLand

Build an army of Steve Jobs Robots

Give some to me.

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iRobot

I watched iRobot last night. Its pretty obvious that its Apple, and not US Robotics that will be in charge of the gleaming white robot armies of the future.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: iRobot

..and if you complain that they are attacking citizens, the excuse will be that "they are holding you wrong".

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Anonymous Coward

Re: iRobot

That's funniest of all the unfunny jokes along those lines I've heard. You sir, owe me a keyboard. Bravo!

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Anonymous Coward

Spin off a new company

iLawyer.com - to handle all their patent and copywrite disputes and let the rest of Apple get back to what they do best.

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Anonymous Coward

Display

They could buy the recently spun off Samsung display company...

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Anonymous Coward

Buying Nintendo would be interesting. Buying Samsung (or at least the phone / components division) more so.

Twitter? Google? Microsoft?

100bn in *cash* (and they are earning more at the rate of 50bn+ per year) puts pretty much anyone on the table if they took on some debt as well.

Most likely they will just start paying dividends to shareholders.

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Anonymous Coward

I'm not sure they would want to buy suppliers as where they are now they can pick and choose the best components from different suppliers. If they bought their own display fab and could keep ahead of the game it would be good - but if they bought Samsung's fab then Sharp had new tech and made better screens it would be more difficult to use them.

Recon they will either do a one-off exceptional dividend to shareholders or announce a smaller but regular dividend. Do not recon they will announce any acquisitions.

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Might be enough to buy Facebook. Oooh, wouldn't google squirm then.......

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How about

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/K_Foundation_Burn_a_Million_Quid

but on a somewhat larger scale?

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Anonymous Coward

... Or give a cow a miscarriage several miles away

... by testing, at a party, a 'sound cannon' they have constructed from parts found in a MOD-surplus APC, as the KLF did.

Hmmm, now if we consider Apple's Coverflow to be an inverted homage to the cover of KLF's White Room, and the Illuminati references employed by both (JAMs, and, well, Apples) I think you'll find the plot of a new Robert Anton Wilson book.

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Apple to pay dividend and buy back shares

Apple has said it will use its cash to start paying a dividend to shareholders and to buy back some of its shares.

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Stop

Given their Siri issues...

... I suspect a substantial chunk of cash will be spent on building more data-centres.

Philanthropic gestures are what businesses do to reduce their tax bills. It has bugger all to do with being nice to others and everything to do with getting away with paying as little tax to the government as they can get away with—a policy generally enforced by shareholders of every major corporation. So, don't expect a "Jobs Foundation".

Besides, charity is not a panacea: it's been 28 years since "Band Aid" and Ethiopia still has trouble feeding itself. You need viable societies first and foremost, but many African nations are still riven by tribal conflicts. You can't just buy a new society. The will has to come from within, not be imposed from without, or you just end up with a nation of willing victims who grow up to expect the West to intervene whenever they make mistakes.

(Personally, I'd only ever give money to organisations involved in education, or information dissemination. New schools, infrastructure and supplies for same, independent journalism, etc. If we want to "spread Democracy", we need to remember that a democracy requires an educated and well-informed population. Neither is an optional extra.)

Paying dividends may be a possibility, but seems unlikely given that Silicon Valley have never been keen on that. Apple are far from the only ones; Microsoft also never paid dividends while Bill Gates was in charge.

Gates is often credited with starting this trend. The problem with this approach is that there's little incentive to keep the shares for a while and take a long-term view; you lose the interest of people who actually have a clue about what it is the company does and who could therefore spot management bullshit a mile away. Today's shareholders only ever take the short-term view: "Fatten the goose, so I can sell my shares on at a profit!" Shares have become surrogates for money. Nothing more.

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Thumb Down

Oh silly people

$100bn in cash is nothing compared to the 100's of $bn in assets of some other companies which could still buy Apple twice over. More than 60% of Apple's cash is held overseas (to avoid taxes at home) so if Apple wants to use that money it has to invest it aboard or find a tax dodge to bring it home, which if there were a way it would have done so already.

Apple's dividen program is still a paltry 1.3% or so yield. Oil and Gas are still a better investment long term. Heck, I'd even go so far as to say Microsoft and Intel are a better investment long term. Apple's stock is propped up by trends. Microsoft and Intel are bricks and mortar.

Apple is till tiny compared to Japanese consumer electronics giants. Apple is only big by market cap, which is paper money. Apple doesn't even have major assets because it outsources just about everything except its marketing and branding.

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Anonymous Coward

The Best Option for the Long Term for all...

Team up with Elon Musk and Build a MoonBase.

THE USA will never do it due to the Greed and Corruption of Congress and the Military Arms Complex. The Chinese and Russians and Indians are 15-20 years away from getting there.

Get an Earth Orbital Station built then go for a long term manned station in orbit around the moon.

from there its not much more to have a base built up of robotic landers and then send the crews down to start building the base.

the Prize, H-3.....

That is if the Nazi's haven't gotten there first.

but seriously 80 billion+ dedicated to getting there is very feasible for a pretty damned big ISIS2 and 3 with a pretty large number of moon shots.

the rest of the Space Community would join up if they got a orbital service station in around the moon (why waste resources and duplicate technology if you have the same goals.)

but no they piss it all away with shares and buybacks...

Steve's probably hitting the mach 1+ down there spinning in his grave....

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