back to article Russell Brand 'threw small voice-enabled iPad through window'

Comedian Russell Brand is reportedly wanted by police for allegedly grabbing a small iPad-like device from a photographer in New Orleans and hurling it through a window. The cops have issued a misdemeanour warrant for Brand's arrest, reports gossip website TMZ. Although eyewitnesses claim an iPhone was lobbed, it is impossible …

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Jop
Joke

Ban hamner

For the first to make a joke about Apple vs Windows!

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Ban hamner

...and in this case, the Apple smashed the Windows...

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Headmaster

Standard Units

C'on elReg, what sort of reporting is this, how many Campbells did he throw it

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Standard Units

Device found to have four rounded corners. Apple patents phone with 'that can be lobbed through a window gesture' to open an application.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Standard Units

Now that's a feature worth having if the application it opens is basically a location-baed web search for glaziers, just for the ironic wit.

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Unhappy

Reporting on another Daily Fail article?

C'mon El Reg, you're better than this.

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Was he...

...making another crank call?

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Thumb Down

Please

...stop using the word 'comedian' when describing Russell Brand. In fact better still stop mentioning him at all.

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Meh

When he was caught making the obscene calls he said all he wanted to do was make people laugh

We're still here Russell, so any time you're ready.

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Funnyman?

Comedian? I beg to differ somewhat. That cretinous, uncouth scruff-bag is about as funny as a dose of haemorrhoids or venereal disease....ooh....and at least as funny as Chris Evans. Sorry. Sarcasm mode got a bit extended there.

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We all know Brand is nothing more or less than a spoiled teenaged brat who forgot to grow up. Did we really need it confirming?

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It's fashionable to diss Russell Brand...

...and in some ways he deserves it.

However, if I was being stalked by creepy assholes with cameras, day in, day out, hunting for some more shit to stir up, I might be tempted to give them something like this to print myself. I'd have at least used the concrete floor and followed it up with a few good, grinding footstamps though. Just to make sure.

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Re: It's fashionable to diss Russell Brand...

The man is a complete twankunt. He invites the attention, but expects it on his own terms. Of course if the media had any sense at all they would simply ignore the talentless streak of piss and then he'd get really upset.

Furthermore you have to remember how he has treated other people in the past. What's sauce for the goose, etc.

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Anonymous Coward

I know the feeling

Right from the days of the first Macintosh, I've never been able to use an Apple device for more than 10 minutes without wanting to throw the unintuitve #$%^ing device through a window.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: I know the feeling

Damn that unintuitive little mouse thing and the silly way it moves a pointing device around on a screen. Nobody will ever be able to intuitively understand the link between their hand movements and that little arrow mirroring their movements in front of them. And how the hell will they ever intuitively understand that an icon that looks like one of those folders you have in a physical filing cabinet might represent a folder to store files in, and those little icons that look like a piece of paper with the corner folded over could represent the documents you might want to store in a folder. And damn you Apple for having an icon for a floppy disk look like a floppy disk, and by default name a hard disk 'Macintosh HD' instead of something truly intuitive like C:

/sarcasm (obviously) ;p

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FAIL

Re: I know the feeling

The "little mouse thing" was invented by Xerox more than 10 years before Apple came out with the Mac.

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Devil

Re: I know the feeling

I agree for MacOS9, damn those inbuilt CRT's made it heavy :(.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: I know the feeling

@Phil O'Sophical

Erm, no it wasn’t. Douglas Engelbart invented the mouse in the early Sixties.

A few people who worked under him at Stanford Research Institute went to Xerox PARC (which was on Stanford land). Some of the technology developed at Xerox PARC were born out of research and projects from other places, such as Stanford.

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Re: I know the feeling

> Erm, no it wasn’t. Douglas Engelbart invented the mouse in the early Sixties.

True enough, thanks for the correction. Predates the Mac by even more :)

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Anonymous Coward

Re: I know the feeling

Indeed you're both right about how the mouse predates the Mac, but I gather the sarcastic comment reads as a response to the OP stating that all Macs from the very first were unintuitive. I believe it points to the idea that a mouse and GUI, whatever their origins, were still an intuitive means to navigate an OS for the majority of users - contrary to the OP's claims. Why else do you think Windows was adopted so widely? The CLI just isn't right for most 'normals'. ;)

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Brand and Brown

As law enforcement in Miami have apparently failed to act against Chris Brown for allegedly stealing someone's iphone in similar circumstances, maybe Brand's lawyer will question why he hasn't received the same privileged treatment for what would be a less serious offence.

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IT Angle

Re: Brand and Brown

Different States there guy. What happens in a Florida jurisdiction, say lack of arrest like in this case, has no bearing on Louisiana unless it goes to a Federal Court (which wont happen). Its considered irrelevant to the charges the a Law Enforcement officer in a separate state took a different course of action.

This whole deal's really quick and simple, he'll be arrested or turn himself in, plead, take a slap on the wrist, and cough up money to Orleans Parish and the City.

New Orleans though has an axe to grind with famous people. They really do, and they've had a reputation about that since 1969/1970 or so when they raided the Grateful Dead's hotel and arrested 20 people. Their city's also still broke from Hurricane Katrina and from the Depression so any revenue they can make on a property crime, they're gonna be more than happy. Judge can set bond as high as his guidelines allow and can also fine him as much as he can. Its a win-win and only some celebrity stalking wanker's overpriced apple device got hurt.

Miami on the other hand caters to what the whiners call the "1%", and in fact the only incident I can think of involving City of Miami or Metro-Dade actually arresting someone famous was Jim Morrison for public indecency. Miami is basically Florida's Dubai, so as long as you dont piss off the local Shaikhs and the Emir and you can get away with pretty much anything, if the price is right of course. We're just as broke.

There's alot of stuff someone with money can get away with in a place like Downtown Miami/South Beach, that if someone was dumb enough to try in Overtown or Opalocka they'd have the book thrown at them. Florida's weird though because theres a ton of Selective Enforcement across the board. Orlando and Jacksonville are like militarized repressive Police States and St. Pete is like a Mad Max style free-for-all with no Cops (even if you need them) in alot of places. You can be busted for something in one place thats going to get you 10 years, and have a cop completely ignore it in others.

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Why they're stalking Brand with cameras I will never know.

AK-47 rifles are available everywhere on earth for far less than a camera, why aren't they using these.

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Go

well there is 1.47 AK 47's in the world for every human alive right now so we need to rectify this Jeebus, I officially declare this brand season OPEN!!!!

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Terminator

I think he can be quite funny at times

I quite enjoyed some of his C4 standup series. I get the impression that meeting him in person might not have beeen too awful. Anyone who champions the cause of sex,drugs & rock'n'roll in these appalling times can't be all bad. Although he 's gone downhill a bit since he claims he's given up drugs & promiscuity

. A lot of Reg commenters sound bit straight to me in the 60's sense of the word.

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Re: I think he can be quite funny at times

Whereas the 00's and 10's are relating to the Intelligence Quotients of anyone who finds him funny.

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Re: I think he can be quite funny at times

"Although he 's gone downhill a bit since he claims he's given up drugs & promiscuity"

I get the feeling that had something to do with his ex's rather interesting parents.

Anyway - who else thought that when Katy P said she was going to 'turn him to god' that the marriage only had a few weeks left?

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FAIL

rather insulting headline

"Big Easy filth slap warrant on bad boy shlep"

Big Easy Filth???? The New Orleans Police Department is not filth.

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Facepalm

Re: rather insulting headline

Would you prefer "Big Easy Babylon"? No? How about five-oh? No? Pigs? Thought not. I suspect it's news to you that El Reg headlines are intended to amuse, provoke and entertain.

A pig's brother.

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Thumb Down

Re: rather insulting headline

How about all of the Extrajudicial Killings and Targeted Assassinations in August and September 2005 that NOPD did? Im not saying they werent justified, I was all for a hard Ivory Coast style curfew, but they were still illegal.

That is, these killings happened when the New Orleans Police actually showed up. Alot of them decided risking their ass, which is their sworn duty, wasn't worth it so they called in or just didnt show up. Just like Los Angeles in 1992. They were scared. I dont blame them, Ive been in very dangerous situations before and I was scared, but with the people I worked for, the US Army, cowardice is punishable by summary execution. Article 99 - Misbehavior before the face of the Enemy. If they were scared, they need a different field or to go be Barney Fife in fucking Mayberry.

They had an enemy, they refused to fight that enemy in any meaningful way until the big boy 1st Army showed up because Louisiana Army National Guard and the US Coast Guard were tied up big time. Hell, Coasties sent in HITRON-1 to be able to shoot at people and things from the air since that unit has Authorization to do so. But regardless, it must have been just like Iraq and alot of parts of Afghanistan to alot of those Soldiers from 1st Army: Cops unwilling to do their damn jobs and Soldiers having to go sort out problems that the local police SHOULD have been handling because nobody wanted to do what they're being paid for as they're too afraid.

All of that combined makes them filth in the literal sense if you ask me.

But really, you're obviously a Merkin like me (be proud of it), and you're thinking too narrowly and from a point of view in our culture. In British slang, Filth is a synonym for what we call the Cops. Its slang for that institution. Yes, its an offensive word and its supposed to be. Because they like them even less there. Look at the Riots last year and the Brixton Riot in 1981. That'll show you the British love for the filth right there.

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Re: rather insulting headline

Hud, can I assume you are not british? This is a British site and British readers understand that "filth" is a slang term for the police which has been around for a very long time indeed. You may also encounter other terms such as pigs, rozzers, plod*, bill, fuzz, bizzies and woodentops and probably a few more that I can't think of at the moment. It may surprise you to learn that we don't actually refer to the police as "bobbies" or "peelers" in the UK any more.

Can I advise you to either check UK slang before posting such complaints in future?

* Or the female equivalent which is plonk.

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FAIL

Re: rather insulting headline

Mr Grease monkey.

You may not advise me to check UK slang. This term was used in reference to Americans in an American city. How people in the UK refer to their police is not something that is of interest to me. We also have the terms fuzz and pig and those went out in the seventies. Yes I am aware that a lot of the police in any locality are just criminals with badges. I also know that a lot of them are hard working people who try to make the community better, some time they die in the process.

The headline is completely out of line. I notice that none of El Regs people have bothered to reply.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: rather insulting headline

@Hud

"You may not advise me to check UK slang. This term was used in reference to Americans in an American city."

Absolutely. How very dare you, damned Brits. The gall you display in your lack of accepting US references as the ONLY way to communicate on a public internet news site, even if it is a British one, sickens me. From now on you may never use such terms as 'you slag' and will instead use the correct 'muthafsker'. 'Fag' will not be used to describe a cigarette. 'Tory Bitch Whose Grave Will Be Watered By Tens Of Millions Of Those Who Endured Her Evil Reign' is to be replaced by 'That Inspiring Woman Who Was Rather Splendidly Portrayed By Meryl Streep'.

/sarky bastard

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"Although eyewitnesses claim an iPhone was lobbed, it is impossible to discount the possibility that it was a palm-sized new iPad."

Other than, say, the fact that no such device exists in public? Or does the photographer have really big palms?

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Anonymous Coward

Maybe it waas a Galaxy Note, you know, looks just like an iPad with its rounded corners, only smaller!

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Russel Brand. Tit. That is all I have to say.

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What a shame it wasn't Brand who got launched through the window, with the accompanying "Just trying to make people laugh fucker!"

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Happy

For balance...

I really enjoyed the BBC 6Music and Radio 2 shows that he used to do. I think he's funny. I suspect his appeal depends on which side of the tracks you grew up on.

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Re: For balance...

So I presume you're saying that if you grew up on the privileged middle class side of the tracks you find him funny, but if you're normal you don't?

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Re: For balance...

Your presumption is incorrect - I wasn't saying that at all.

Would you like to have a go at defining "normal"?

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douche bag

Russell Brand is not funny and I suspect he's close to being the nobody he was before. <ow that he doesn't have a famous pair of tits to cover up his awful acting.

I wish it were him that went through the window. Can we please not mention him on the site?

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Joke

I bet the Daily Fail has Sachs-ful of Russel Brand misdemeanour stories...

...That's all

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Anonymous Coward

In person

The Brand that the public see is an "act". This might not be a surprise but having seen happening from a closer perspective I found it fascinating how he was shaped from a loud slightly kooky and geeky individual into a fop and a dandy character. His management did an excellent job of creating a character and to give him credit he ran with it.

As for being angry that the paps follow him. Well it has to be said that when your management/publicists are working so hard to put out stories every day you might have to expect interest. All those stories in the tabloids about every sexual encounter had nothing to do with journalism and everything to do with lazy journalists just lapping up anything his publicists fed them.

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Childcatcher

Uses For An iPad ....

An iPad can be used as a frisbee .... excellent news.

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Disappointing

A terrible missed opportunity to use the excellent word 'defenestrate'...!

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Re: Disappointing

Isn't that more of an object (human) being ejected through a window (open or not) - as popularised by at least one ex- USSR country.

It's not mentioned whether the device survived the incident - if it did then Russ will need to get in quick to claim some of the upcoming advertising revenue.

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FAIL

Slight error there

"Boring wanker Russell Brand".

Fixed that for you.

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"Man throws a thing."

Got it, cheers.

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