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back to article Ancient Iceman murder victim was lactose-intolerant, sickly

Scientists sequencing the genome of the 5,000-year-old "Iceman" corpse found 20 years ago in the Tyrolean Alps, have discovered that he had brown eyes, was lactose-intolerant, prone to heart disease and had Lyme disease. The boffins also found that he may be related to some modern-day Northern Mediterraneans. The results of …

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Anonymous Coward

Middle-eastern genes, related to sardinians? Watch out for "he was a muslim!" claims from certain quarters of the islamic world and some third-rate redbrick "social studies" department.

Sadly stupidity knows no borders. :|

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Anonymous Coward

"Sadly stupidity knows no borders"

After reading your post, I wholeheartedly agree

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Anonymous Coward

"Sadly stupidity knows no borders" nor does ignorance.

1) Islam is less then 2000 years old

2) not all of the people in the middle-east are muslims

3) what does his religion (if he had any) has to do with anything? The facts found are true no matter what he believed in.

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I assume he was baptised into the Mormon church, by remote control, shortly after being found. If they still do that.

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Anonymous Coward

Hey, look who completely and utterly missed the entire point. Given that certain quarters of the islamic world claim everything from creation forwards is "muslim" I was simply observing that it's inevitable that they're going to use this to claim that Oetzi was muslim and then probably claim that Europe is muslim land that needs to be reconquered by followers of their particular little sect. I pointed this out because there are some very crazy people out there.

Did I say all of islam? No. Did I say all the middle east was islamic? No. Did I say any of the things you're claiming I said? NO.

Learn to read.

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Law
Trollface

"I pointed this out because there are some very crazy people out there"

And yet, you're the only one to suggest any of this type of crap here... interesting.

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Anonymous Coward

"Did I say all of islam? No. Did I say all the middle east was islamic? No. Did I say any of the things you're claiming I said?"

Did I say stop digging?

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Silver badge

All we know is that he was religiously intolerant of lactose

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Now look

Most people in the world today are "lactose intolerant". It is Westerners who are exceptional, mainly. Adults who drink mammal infant nutrition fluid are, by reasonable standards, perverse. Logically, adults who drink mammal infant nutrition fluid of a different mammal species are even more perverse. Personally I drink simulated other-species mammal infant nutrition fluid made from soya beans, which may be more perverse still: but the cow juice gives me a stomach-ache these days.

As for Oetzi, his genes may have not equipped him to digest cow milk or to handle a diet rich in red meat and saturated fat, but that doesn't particularly matter if his diet didn't include those things. Although his hardened arteries suggest that maybe it did. Modern human evolution may include gradual elimination of Oetzi's problem genes from amongst us, although it probably would be better to eat more fruit instead.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Now look

"mammal infant nutrition fluid"

milk is shorter to type

posted by someone who uses "stdlib" instead of "stdlib.h".... then proceed to type "std::" everywhere :-p

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Silver badge
Coat

Re: now look

I think I have a genetic trait shared with Oetzi - no, I'm not lactose intolerant but I think I might be pointy implement intolerant. Not entirely certain that an epi-pen would help.

I love cow juice (not bull juice)

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Anonymous Coward

Re: milk is shorter to type

Yeah but if we call it "mammal infant lactation fluid", I reckon we could come up with a catchy acronym.

Anyway, this guy was a long-haired, fresh food and exercise avoider who carried bladed weapons and ate magic mushrooms. Did they also find a copy of Linux for Dummies and some Rammstein CDs in his backpack?

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Anonymous Coward

Why no mention

...of his treasured 20-sided dice?

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Happy

Nutrition is nutrition

And nutrition fluid designed for mammal infants will hold a lot of nutrition for other mammals, infant or not, of different species.

Seriously, you can make any foodstuff sound weird:

- eggs? Unfertilized offspring of dinosaur descendents

- cheese? Curdled mammal infant nutrition fluid

- meat? Muscles and organs from mammals

- rice? Fertilized seeds from the dominant species on the planet (by biomass)

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A nice cup of tea?

“So that’s it, is it?” said the Nutri-Matic when he had finished.

“Yes,” said Arthur, “that is what I want.”

“You want the taste of dried leaves in boiled water?”

“Er, yes. With milk.”

“Squirted out of a cow?”

“Well, in a manner of speaking I suppose…”

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Silver badge

Re: Why no mention

"Why no mention of his treasured 20-sided dice?"

Do you want the full event log?

>You see a level 8 iceman. The iceman has Brown Eyes. The iceman has Heart Disease. The iceman is Lactose Intolerant. The iceman has Lyme disease. The iceman is strong. The iceman wields a copper axe. The iceman may or may not be muslim.

>You hit the iceman.

>The iceman's axe strikes you. You are bleeding.

>Your arrow hits the iceman in the shoulder. The ice man is critically injured.

>The iceman misses.

>The iceman misses.

>Your club strikes the ice man's skull. The iceman dies.

>>Examine

>You see an iceman corpse. You see a copper axe. You see a flint-bladed knife. You see some berries. You see 20 mushrooms on a string. You see treasured 20-sided dice.

>take copper axe

>>The copper axe is too heavy.

>take 10 mushrooms

>>10 mushrooms taken.

>Eat 10 mushrooms

>>You eat 10 mushrooms. Your health is restored.

>Identify flint-bladed knife

>>Identify: cursed Flint-bladed knife of lactose intolerance.

>take treasured 20-sided dice

>> treasured 20-sided dice taken.

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SW
Paris Hilton

Re: Re: Now look

I thought that the acronym for "Mammal Infant Nutrition Fluid" would be MILF

Fnaaar Fnaaaar - Paris obviously

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Now look

Maybe you should consider drinking raw unpasteurised milk. That soy 'milk' is not doing you any good at all.

http://www.westonaprice.org/soy-alert/ploy-of-soy

And Oetzi would have been equipped to handle a diet of red meat and saturated fat. It would have been his main natural diet. Don't believe the modern crap that red meat and saturated fat is bad for you. As people reduce their consumption of these products they get sicker and sicker. Red meat contains a wealth of vitamins and minerals that your body requires, and saturated fat is also required by your body - so much that it should be the highest intake of fat you consume (PUFAs should be the lowest).

Don't believe most studies that tell you otherwise either. Most studies denouncing red meat classify pizza as red meat, and also contain things like sausages as red meat also - foods that contain a lot of wheat. And any study that look at fat and denounce saturated fat do not actually separate saturated fat and unnatural trans-fat!

And the fact that Oetzi had calcified arteries does not mean he would have suffered from a heart attack. A lot of people get athersclerosis without suffering from heart attacks.

There are a lot of assumptions from their 'tests'!

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Facepalm

Re: Re: milk is shorter to type

No, just a very early copy of the AD&D Player's Handbook!

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FAIL

Re: Re: Now look

Regardless of what I personally agree with..

"Maybe you should consider drinking raw unpasteurised milk."

Is either trolling or total nonsense. There's a reason why Louis Pasteur was trying to help people. I wish people would stop treating it as a modern thing that removes all the goodness.

Helps remove the nasty crap that will do you in, too. Then again, go ahead, enjoy your salmonella.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Now look

Fine, most people are indeed lactose intolerant, but that hardly makes it right, now, does it?

Just look where his intolerance got him - he's dead, and dead by violence. I think it's time you stopped your intolerant rants before something untoward happens.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Re: milk is shorter to type

"Yeah but if we call it "mammal infant lactation fluid", I reckon we could come up with a catchy acronym."

Got milf?

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Law
Pint

Re: Re: Why no mention

">>Identify: cursed Flint-bladed knife of lactose intolerance."

It's been a very long day (or I'm easily amused) but I lol'd to that post and woke my kid up.

If I could "like it" twice I would. Thank you. :')

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Silver badge

Re: Nutrition is nutrition

If you think that's bad, consider that humans consider giving the genitalia of plants to females "romantic".

In a parallel world, mobile, male plants are tearing off the penises and gonads off a bunch of those scary "humanids" and handing bunches of them to female plants.

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Thumb Down

Re: Now look

GET YOUR HANDS OF MY MILK YOU DAMN DIRTY HIPPY

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Re: Re: Re: Why no mention

quote :"If I could "like it" twice I would. Thank you. :')"

I liked it twice by liking your like of it.

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Holmes

Re: Now look

With all the wines, beers and spirits available in the world, why would anyone want to drink mammal juice?

And there's also water.

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Bronze badge
Headmaster

not common in Europe

Looking at my map most of northern Mediterranean (coastline anyway) is in Europe.

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Joke

Ötzi - what nationality?

This has been disputed for a while: The Italians say he was Italian: he was found on their soil. Same for the Austrians.

The Swiss said he must be from Berne: early results showed he was overtaken by a glacier.

But really he must have been German: Walking the high Alps wearing sandals only.

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Murder is a big assumption

It could have been a legal duel, or a wartime summary execution, a suicide pact with an as yet undiscovered chum, or merciful euthanasia.

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Re: Murder is a big assumption

Or a bizzare consensual sex-ritual.

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Vic
Silver badge

Re: Re: Murder is a big assumption

> a bizzare consensual sex-ritual.

I'm not sure they'd have had MPs back then...

Vic.

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Re: Murder is a big assumption

So if it was part of a inter tribal warfare then he is a casualty of war not a murder victim.

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Coat

Re: Murder is a big assumption

Can't be war. In order for it to be war, you have to be a nation. In order to be a nation, you have to have a flag, as any fule know. Was there a flag? I think not!

Mine's the one with the Eddie Izzard DVD in the pocket...

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Vic
Silver badge

> some berries and mushrooms (believed to be for medicinal use)

The excuses are always the same, aren't they? :-)

Vic.

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Silver badge

Bah!

Still no mention of his Carpal Tunnel Syndrome or Erectile Dysfunction I see.

Typical shoddy, workmanship.

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> He was found with some ... 'shrooms (believed to be for medicinal use)

So that excuse is (at least) 5,000 years old. Whodathunkit?

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Bronze badge

Why calling his remains a "corpse"? Doesn't the preservation condition suggest the name "mummy" instead?

Anyways, it would be interesting to read more on the conclusions of the almost 20-year long research.

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Headmaster

It could be argued that "mummy" is a subset of "corpse", as in "mummified corpse".

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Anonymous Coward

Agreed

You rarely hear of living mummies (well, you do, but they're the other sort)

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