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back to article HELLISH LOVE INFERNO TO SWEEP LONDON

The London Fire Brigade have taken it upon themselves to warn the romantically inclined that a Valentine's date could end with death in a burning hell blaze. Those who expect Valentine's Day to end with liquor, chocolates and a fumble between the sheets could instead find themselves fighting for their lives in a room filled with …

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Coat

In order to save the LFB a call out

I'm ordering pizza

Mrs Locky is a lucky woman indeed

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jai
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Dominos emailed me details of their special Valentines Day offer (free chocolate cake desert i think it was) and I scoffed that anyone would have the guts to order in pizza tonight. congratulations sir, you're a far braver man than i!

:)

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Anonymous Coward

Hey, it's probably more appetising than anything I could cook.

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Pint

I'm WAAAAAY ahead of you guys.

re: "•Avoid cooking after drinking alcohol."

I just avoid that 'solid food' stage, and presto! No problem!

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Happy

Re: I'm WAAAAAY ahead of you guys.

I enjoy cooking with wine; sometimes I even put some in the food.

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FAIL

So in their weird world...

I'm supposed to put on the water to boil and then stand there in the kitchen watching it rather than stepping out to do something more interesting. (Seriously, it doesn't take as long to cut the veg as it does for the water to come to the boil, and if I'm cooking meat-and-veg in foil packets in the oven, and rice in boiling water on the top, the meat-and-veg go in the oven long before the water goes on to boil...)

((For the terminally curious: pork chops or slabs of salmon or something of similar size, with peppers and mushrooms, onions if you like them, maybe apples and dried cranberries on pork, dill on salmon, etc. Wrap in foil, in the oven for 45 minutes on French gas mark 4. 3-way white/red/wild rice mix takes 15 minutes to boil, plus 15 minutes to get the water boiling. And I'm supposed to do *what* in the kitchen while it's cooking? (Evidently not nookie on the floor, duh.)))

FAIL for more stupid advice from the H&S-obsessed lunatics running the country I left behind three years ago.

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Boil the water in the kettle first. Noobie mistake!

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Whose Tuesdays

end with liquor, candy, sex, and fire? I mean really? Evidently the Brigade know how to party!

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WTF?

Underdone steak?

No such thing.

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Anonymous Coward

I'll take that challenge.

Here you are, sir, your underdone beef. What? Oh, no sir, that's not, er, sauce, sir, that is the beef. Er, more of a stew, really. The dish beside you are the eggs, for that truly fresh experience - it's not even a full strand of DNA until the two meet in your - sir? Oh, yes, bathrooms are that way, we get this all the time...

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Angel

About the only way a good steak can be underdone

Is when it's still going "Moo".

Steak tartare is lovely stuff.

Of course it does need to be a good steak.

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Pint

Avoid cooking after drinking alcohol?

Seriously? But then who's going to cook for me? The fire brigade?

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Devil

I love how the NHS tell you not to have takeaways; cook at home or you'll die of heart disease.

Then the Fire Brigade tell you, for god's sake get a takeaway on the way home or you'll burn your house down with that toast.

P.S. Dunno what the Police response is to a case of the munchies, but it probably involves the phrase 'intent to supply'...

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Richard12

Steak tartare is heavenly, not that fussed with tuna tartare (or any other fish come to that) but steak is the nectar of the gods.

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Linux

Re: Richard12

Before I became veggie, sashimi was for me the absolute ambrosia.

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Is London still standing?

The morning paper only arrived on my porch a moment ago.

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Pint

Cooking after drinking

But you have to have a 'slurp' while you're cooking. The memory of Keith Floyd lives on!

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Anonymous Coward

Don't forget the morning after...

Shaving while smoking... big no no. Some shaving creams are basically PROPANE in a can.

But I can't think of anything that is more reassuring of a relationship than let her hold a razor to your neck. Ask her to shave you. True proof of love, for both.

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