back to article Car crash model cushioned by 38KKK Bulgarian airbags

A top-heavy model who wrapped her car round a tree is convinced her preposterous 38KKK Bulgarian airbags saved her from an appointment with the great cosmetic surgery clinic in the sky. Sheyla Hershey, 32, pranged her Ford Mustang near Houston, Texas, following a Super Bowl bash. She explained: "I think my breasts saved my life …

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Unhappy

She looks like a transgendered version of Michael Jackson. Why do people do these things to themselves?

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Money

Better question is: what about that kind of deformity appeals to people?

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Couldn't help reading it with the voice of Kenny Everett's Cupid Stunt going through my head...

'it was all done in the best possible taste'

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FAIL

@Aaron Em

"what about that kind of deformity appeals to people?"

Yes, because everyone should only be attracted to "perfect" people and all the fatties and uglies and anyone who doesn't fit into some mythical ideal should be doomed to a life of lonliness and self-pleasure because nobody else is going to find them attractive.

Alternatively you could lose your bigotry and consider that not everyone finds the same things attractive as you do. See <a href=http://www.outsiders.org.uk/home">The Outsiders </a> for something that may open your eyes (and mind) a little.

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WTF?

Wow. Someone needs to calm down, I think --

-- and I don't think it's me.

Nor do I think it's particularly reasonable to assume there's no difference at all between, say, on the one hand, someone who's carrying around fifty or a hundred pounds more mass than a perky twenty-two-year-old medical student might suggest was a good idea -- and then, on the other hand, someone who's deliberately, and against medical advice, inflated her breasts to over four liters' volume in order to earn money off rich people's sad fantasies.

No judgment, or so a thicko like you would seem to need pointed out -- we've all got to earn a paycheck somehow, and from what I've heard of Brazil, if you've got an option like this one then it makes sense to take it -- but that's not the same thing as someone who "doesn't fit into some mythical ideal", and in neither case am I arguing that such a person should be "doomed to a life of lonliness [sic] and self-pleasure" for any reason at all; I don't know, nor particularly do I care, what's got you thinking that is what I am doing, but if accuracy were something of concern to you then I expect you'd like to know you are completely off the mark -- all I'm saying is, I don't get what it is with men for whom Little Happy is most effectively titillated by tits so big and so blatantly artificial that they no longer even look like something you'd expect to find on a human body.

If that's the same thing as hating on anybody who isn't a perfect 36-24-36, or whatever the fuck it is you've got the idea in whatever passes for your mind that I'm doing, then I guess you may as well just tie me to a post and set me alight right now. But, then, it isn't, is it? Of course it isn't. It isn't even close -- but then, hey, if it were a mistake that was *easy* to make, we wouldn't need you to do it, would we?

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WTF?

@Graham Marsden

Hey Graham baby...try decaf coffee for god's sake...would you?

Taking this a bit too personal aren't you?

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"Better question is: what about that kind of deformity appeals to people?"

Neck pillow and hot-water-bottle all in one. Somewhere to park your bike. A good thing to stand behind if impact looks likely. Lots of pluses.

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Well, the impact resistance is attested...

...but you'd need to upgrade the bike to whatever comes after 'tandem' just to bring the stand along...

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Paris Hilton

@ Money

"de gustibus aut bene, aut nihil".

Just sayin'

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Go

You've got to be kidding

You do realize your audience is basically a group that feels a full featured "fondle slab" is Nirvana and get their ideas on women from such fine literature as Wonder Woman and Jungle Girl comic books.

http://comicsand.blogspot.com/2008/04/not-enough-big-breasted-women-in-comics.html

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@Aaron Em

Aaron Em, do you *really* think that calling someone a "thicko" and swearing in your posts because someone disagrees with you actually adds anything to the validity of your points?

Loyal Commentor actually asked a good question ie "Why do people do these things to themselves?" and one valid response is that they may suffer from Body Dismorphic Disorder where their self-image doesn't match what they actually look like, no matter what medical advice they receive.

You, however, chose to respond in a way that says "I can't find this attractive, so how could anyone else do so?" as if your opinions are the only ones that matter and, to top that, described her *choice* as a "deformity" (by that argument you might as well describe tattoos or body piercings as "deformities" too...)

I pointed out that there are many people (some of whom I *have* met personally, ItsNotMe) who not only have "deformities" but who have as much right to be found attractive as anyone else, whether or not *you* personally can understand why anyone should find them appealing.

Unfortunately you appear not to like having your unthinking bigotry questioned, so you simply chose to respond with abuse and insults.

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Right, right

Swearing and calling you a thicko wasn't necessary to add to the validity of my points -- that was just funny. But now that you've adjudicated my responses, held the line against a resurgence of the undoubtedly dying and horrifically regressive past, and not incidentally given a hint as to just what sort of speech codes you'd like to see in practice, why don't you toddle along and save the world some more?

(I can't restrain myself from pointing out, though, that if you're the colored-pencil-pushing rich boy Graham Marsden who lives in Versailles, just a half-hour or so's drive south of here -- and if you *are* that Graham Marsden, let me hasten to add that you and that place deserve one another -- then you might want to think about redressing the bit in your LinkedIn profile where you describe yourself as 'thick-skinned', seeing as I seem to have touched you squarely on the raw without even trying.)

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@Aaron Em

Ah, I see, you think swearing and calling people names is funny. Right, noted.

BTW you seem to be fascinated by which Graham Marsden I am, well, sorry, but you're wrong again, because I'm not the Graham Marsden you mention.

FYI I'm the Graham Marsden who has been running a business called Affordable Leather Products, making leather bondage and BDSM equipment for almost 20 years.

I'm the Graham Marsden who has been on the BDSM/ Fetish scene for around 15 years and knows many people whom some bigots might consider "deformed" because they have tattoos, body piercings or, indeed, have breast augmentations, not to mention, of course, people who have actual physical disabilities such as people who are members of the aforementioned Outsiders organisation.

I'm also the Graham Marsden who has written many times on these and other forums about my support for the right of people to make their own decisions about how they behave and what they can see and what they can say (provided what they say is not aimed at hurting others).

I'm the Graham Marsden who put a lot of time and effort into lobbying MPs and Lords to vote against the last Government's Dangerous Pictures law banning "extreme pornography" because they didn't like it, so they couldn't understand why anyone else should like it either.

And, of course, I'm the Graham Marsden who doesn't like someone doing the forum equivalent of a bunch of mouthy chavs sitting on a wall passing rude and ignorant comments about women passing by such as "how could anyone fancy that?"

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Haven't you heard? Swearing and calling people names *is* funny

If Googling your name, and assuming the first result was you when I saw it had all the progressive checkboxes neatly ticked, counts as 'fascinated', then guilty, I suppose. Who's got the time to put real research into his cheap shots?

I have enough experience of "the" BDSM "scene" -- and isn't it adorable how it thinks it's all there is? -- that your bona fides don't move me. And I'm not going to haul out my own to match them up against yours, because there's no point. You're RIGHT, after all, and having been RIGHT a few times myself I know damn well that you're not going to be budged an inch, not even with a crowbar; what need have you of nuance, when you're on the side of God and all His angels?

Off you go, then, and save the world; you won't accomplish anything batting words around with a reactionary old reprobate like me. But you should know that already, shouldn't you? Look how much you can tell from my use of a single word!

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@Aaron Em

If googling someone's name *was* all the "research" you'd done, you might have a point, but since it clearly wasn't, it seems that I'm the one who's hit a nerve.

It also seems that your claimed "experience" of the BDSM scene *could* do with some more research, because you appear to have as little clue about that as anything else.

Never mind, you feel free to get in the last word with another "funny" little dig at me and I'll feel free to ignore it.

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Joke

Sure, it saved her from dying but my lord, just look at her face after the crash... Those dashboards do a lot of damage at speed.

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Dumb F**ks

Maybe there's a lesson to other mere mortals not endowed with such chesticle super prowess.. wear your seatbelt.

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38KKK

They don't make a seatbelt big enough.

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Paris Hilton

Hmm

Would a pair from Black Adder work in the same way?

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Anonymous Coward

Devil's dumplings?

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Facepalm

Oh Lester, Lester, what a missed opportunity

"insisting that she was actually under the influence of drugs for bipolar disorder, depression, headaches and, unsurprisingly, backaches."

So you completely failed to spot that her defence was that she was off her tits... More work needed on the subheadings, old chap.

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Well done that man!

Bloody upvote button, only working once per post.

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Off her tits?

She's lucky they're not off her.

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I was going to post something

But all this has done is make me glad I don't live there.

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TRT
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She doesn't appear to be wearing a seatbelt in that video.

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WTF?

I'm not sure that seatbelts come in a "38KKK".......

(Desperately trying to rid myself of the mental image of a woman with 38 besheeted Klansmen camped on her chest....)

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Yeah, I'm guessing that bra size doesn't appear in the US labeling system.

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No reason why it wouldn't

66.6-inch chest, though? Oh shit!

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Devil

@ Tee Cee

You should try the image of 38 Sports Illustrated Swimsuit models now decamped on your chest.

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Coffee/keyboard

"great cosmetic surgery clinic in the sky"

New keyboard, please!

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Somehow

a whole new meaning of "bipolar" springs to mind watching that video.

Or is it just me thinking that

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Anonymous Coward

Maybe a NSFW tag would be useful?

The link to Sheyla Hershey (http://sheylahershey.net/) took me to our corporate IT "pornographic site blocked" page :(

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Facepalm

And you thought it would redirect to...

... http://www.faithandvalues.us/ , perhaps?

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IT Angle

What's the IT angle on this?

Most IT people are blokes who naturally like boobs? I suppose, but I think most of us prefer real naturally grown boobs...

Dear The Register. Please publish stories in future that contain REAL natural breasts. A pretty face or an IT angle are desirable but not quite as essential. Thank you. :-)

Yours sincerely,

A borded bloke on lunch break.

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it certainly did save her life

without those monstrous funbags she'd be doomed for life to be a "nobody".

Maybe she's bipolar and/or depressed because to her the whole world looks like a bunch of drooling idiots.

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Ru
Paris Hilton

"non-enhanced crash protectors"

Sir, I'd like to take issue with this statement. I suspect that natural breasts do not have the same ability to absorb impacts and bullets that artificially enhanced ones would. Certainly in the case of the original Bulgarian Airbags, you may note that they ruptured during the incident, which probably absorbed a good bit of the force of the crash.

Also, "chesticular"? Hurgh. That's not a nice adjective at all.

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Coat

Bulgarian Funbags? Need new term - Bulgarian Winnebagos?

cuz they're beyond funbags now. :)

What I don't get is in Texas, under the influence is under the influence. It's now called a DUI (Driving Under Influence) for a reason. The TX laws aren't written for alcohol only, they cover pretty much any faculty impairment, so she would lose her license regardless or if the Judge is particularly lenient, just have some serious fines. Admitting her guilt in court is a pretty shrewd legal tactic. :)

(just in case - the last bit was sarcastic, her saying "I wasn't drunk, I was drugged up" in front of a judge on your DUI case isn't the brightest thing she could've done. I'm thinking she's losing IQ points for each cup size increase...)

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Sly

I think it was just a "technical point"

Since the suspicion was drunk and not DUI. since the courts are kept to such a high technical standard, this is a valid defense to the charge presented. I'm not sure if the charges could be re-submitted under DUI after admission of guilt, but that would be for the DA.

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@Sly

Good point. That would be a technical "out" in this one case. Although it would make the DA's case easier for new charges, since it would be straight from the court record from her previous case...

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Anonymous Coward

No one has touched on the mammamechanics. Dive in lads four abreast!

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Anonymous Coward

We've already seen Janet Jackson's boobs

Now that they are inflated they look like crap.

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Anonymous Coward

What very small feet she has.....

Guess they didn't grow in the shade.....

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Roy Castle...

...is spinning in his grave. There was never anything like this on 'Record Breakers'.

Incidentally, Roy is spinning faster than any other corpse has managed so far.

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