Scientists charged into the fashion industry this week, unveiling a flexible battery that can be woven into fabric and used to boost the juice of everyday gadgets. The lithium-ion cells were produced by a group of boffins from the Polytechnic School of Montreal. The team claims their bendy power cells are the first wearable …
You're on fire
Why thank you....
No... YOU ARE ON FIRE!
[Ob Fantastic four ]
Won't someone think of the security forces?
Will it be, "We tasered this bloke in a funny shirt and he exploded, proving he was a terrorist!"
Or maybe, "We tasered this bloke in a funny shirt and our taser exploded, proving he was a terrorist!"
In our current paranoid climate, are you going to be able to get on a plane wearing one of these things?
Gives "Don't tase me, Bro" a whole new meaning...
Yep, that was my first thought - wonder if it would cause a feedback loop to El Taser? That could be funny, in a sideways view.
Its more likely going to be used to power torture implements such as 'shock gloves' or in bdsm with electro nipple tassels, although come to think of it they are somewhat usable in both arenas.
So, a sudden rise in spontaneous human combustion imminent then!
Dry clean only?
The post is required, and must contain letters.
>We have enough power to emit a powerful distress signal or even save a life by
> defibrillating a patient,"
Wow, so a garment with a heart-rate detector and 'power-threads' (tm - I thought of it first!) makes an essential item for the elderly or those with heart problems.
Combine that with a GPS and alert facility and grannys next jumper could be a life-saver.
Imagine such fabrics woven or otherwise contained inside life vests so as to transmit distress signals EPIRB-style. Or perhaps arctic clothing capable of powering an emergency heater.
Of course, what's to say this battery fabric needs to be on a person to be useful? Since fabric is all over the place, there is plenty of electrical potential beyond the wearable kind.
yes! curtains that generate an electric field to.... erm.... repel bad vibes/cosmic rays/free radicals or some other such new-age pseudo scientific nonsense. *rushes to patent*
has a whole new meaning.
That's the current fashion, yes.
...for those shocking new designs.
...they'll sell like lightning.
A boon to women everywhere!
Prolonged vibrating knicker-lifetime!
Pure electricity. In my pants.
I tried this before they waterproofed it and I must say it was simply a shocking product.
Emit a powerful distress signal
Yes, I think I would emit a powerful distress signal if I came in contact with "hundreds of volts".
Wearable tasters, anyone?
not sure i want to wear something capable of collecting enough voltage to defibrilate someone.
Remote control tasering anyone??
Don't worry majesty, we have total control over the population since we started forcing them to all wear these clothes that allow us to remotely punish them for non-conformism!"
Oh fuck! We're doomed!
"Scientists charged into the fashion industry this week"
What's a scientist?
"The lithium-ion cells were produced by a group of boffins"
Oh I see, it's a funny word for boffin.
Not *this* argument again.
What happens when someone irons the shirt?
Don't you just
plug the iron into the shirt
Mine is the one with "Danger, High Voltage" on the back
'An entire garment woven from the battery material could produce "hundreds of volts"'
You need to change your weave then. Consumers don't want hundreds of volts; they want 3-12 volts with thousands of millamp-hours. Run those battery fibers in parallel rather than series, come up with a body-heat powered charging system, and you might have a product.
1) Is it waterproof and shark-friendly?
2) Could it power a laser?
I do 24-hour walking races and it is a pain having "light-up" as the sun sets. Having the power and lights woven into my racing tops would be handy. If you could combine this with the fabrics that they say generate a charge from motion and I could power my GPS for the full 24-hours too.
And a display on the back so you could sell advertising to help pay for your expensive walking outfits!
Re: Sell Advertising
You know, that isn't such a terrible idea. People already wear adverts (any branded clothing is really just an advert). Today, people pay a premium in order to wear that advert. Why not have a system whereby I can receive a small fee for each "impression" with dynamic clothing?
i'd happily take ski gloves
that light up a "cigarette" while snowboarding, lighters on pistes are a bitch to use. and yes, even windproof ones start failing at -25
"...Why not have a system whereby I can receive a small fee for each "impression" with dynamic clothing?..."
An "impression" presumably being registered every time someone comes up and smacks you in the mouth for having the GoCompare man, singing loudly on your shirt front?
There needs to be a law to make wearing garments made from this fabric compulsory! Of course, with a radio receiver to control it. "Subject X didn't pay its taxes - send a gentle reminder."
and not a single comment
about the subheading being the worst El Reg pun in weeks?
Conversely, I thought the sub-head was the best I've seen for a long time!
well, worst pun is implicitly good...
This just sounds incredibly dangerous. Surely if you punctured these clothes with anything conductive they would short out. Or if they were damaged and then got wet.
Re: Built-in taser?
Great way to make the creeps keep their hands off you while riding the bus or the metro....
I find the best way to make the creeps keep their hands off you while riding the bus or the metro is to look creepy and touch-up the other passengers.
Danger danger! High voltage!
When we touch, when we kiss!
Good old Jack White, eh?
Super Hero or Super Villain
The Human Dynamo! Electro-Man! Able to stun his foes with a touch of his cuff-links.