Stab victim protected by Bulgarian airbag
A Florida woman who was set upon by her ex-fiance's knife-wielding new squeeze survived the attack thanks to one of her Bulgarian airbags, according to this report. The unnamed victim was assaulted outside her former boyf's apartment in Melbourne, Brevard County, and allegedly stabbed "repeatedly in the left side of her chest" …
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Health and Safety law
Now here's an opportunity for the health and safety police to actually benefit society for once, encouraging the use of "safety" implants..
Uterior motive? Moi?!? never! *hopes nobody noticed the crossed fingers*
There should be more balanced reporting.
Logically, every time someone is fatally stabbed on the upper body, El Reg should report "lack of boobage kills victim". Whether male or not.
Dr Frank Filiberto
"specialiast Dr Frank Filiberto" specialiases in what, exactly?
encourage everyone to get them?
I am not getting them regardless of how safe they are.
Oh I don't know...
Might be more fun than playing with Angry Birds to pass the time. :-)
Much as we all know men like playing with themselves, I doubt they'd get away with playing with enhanced manboobs on a train (or any other public place for that matter).
Having said that, it might be more socially acceptable than playing Angry Birds
Tough Titty
In future, policewomen (and maybe policemen?) will have Kevlar tits.
Yeah, but it's what else they do for you
>> "It happened so fast. I'm like, 'Put down the knife.' I look down, and I was covered in blood."
It seems they completely impair one's use of English. Fit plastic boobs, and tenses are optional.
Or maybe she thought she was on bookface.
Like.
Oh NOW I understand!
I used to wonder about articles like this but now I realize that the full slogan does not fit on the masthead/banner: "Biting the hand the feeds IT, also publishing airbag news whenever we can!"
I'll tell you, you are -lucky- that the full slogan does not fit there. (And if you wanted to put it on a t-shirt, than the only sort of t-shirt that could accommodate it would have to have a pair of airbags in it.)
Beware the Jub *Job* bird, and shun ...
... the Frumious Bandersnatchoplasty.
Need my eyes tested
At first glance I read
the magnificently-titled Artful Awakenings surgery
as
the magnificently-titled Awful Awakenings surgery
Thanks to Chris Hunter for the tit-off
I hear the HSE are now looking very closely at safety chesticles, for their application as PPE in the workplace. They hope to make them as common as rigger boots and hard hats, and have already started shooting the training video, featuring Rab C. Nesbitt demonstrating the correct procedure for donning this essential piece of life-saving equipment, with commentary by Patrick Allen.
http://www.hse.gov.uk/research/ppe/safety-chesticles-consultation.pdf
I can't take this anymore
May'be my own pair of jubs would calm me down a little?
Titties and safety go together way back
I believe older Reg readers must be familiar with term "mae vest" , referring to blow up lifejacket, worn by sailors during WWII, which made them look (remotely) a bit like the famous actress Mae West.
Very remotely, I hope.
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