back to article Ancient tulip-like stomach-onna-stick creatures found in Rockies

Fossil-boffins probing into the remains of a soft-bodied tulip animal that lived in the Rockies 500 million years ago have just published a paper revealing the secrets of the weird creature. Essentially stomachs on stalks, the tulip-shaped creatures known as Siphusauctum gregarium lived in great herds and are the most commonly …

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Anonymous Coward

You couldn't make this stuff up

But Barrington J. Bayley could - and did.

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Think I've seen some of these clustered around Gregg's.

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Pint

First decent laugh on Friday and it isn't even close to beer O'clock

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"terminal anus"

Brilliant term. I can think of a few people I'd describe as such, too.

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Childcatcher

Heh!

She said anus.

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Anonymous Coward

huh?

Waving anus-tipped flowers...

Thousands of these appear on 4chan every day. Or so I hear.

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Coat

Model for future organizations

"an ovoid lower tract near the base of the calyx, grading into a bulbous mid-gut, then tapering into a straight and thin upper intestine projecting upwards to a central terminal anus"

Sounds a lot like government.

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Joke

This article is a load of arse.

Nuff said.

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The early Cambrian must have been like some sort of ITV game show 'tonight only one family will be going through into the Ordovician, the others will be turned into coal. We asked 100 trilobites...'

Superficially it has some similarities to Crinoids which pop up in the Ordovician and were largely extinctified in the Permian. But this is a bilaterally symmetric beastie whereas crinoids (like other echinoderms) have five-fold symmetry.

The fossils in the article are amazing. I'd love to have one - but not quite as much as I'd like a tyrannosaur in the living room...

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Coat

...with lasers on its head?

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ARGonauts .... Angels on Holy Grail Missions

" But this is a bilaterally symmetric beastie whereas crinoids (like other echinoderms) have five-fold symmetry." ..... Mike Richards Friday 20th January 2012 14:52 GMT

Five-fold symmetry with a bilaterally asymmetric beastie is an altogether different Great Game, MR.

Being devilishly good at being oneself is a revelation and instant tonic relief. A secret to nurture to the grave and deliver to the future.

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Marvin?

Missed you, man! Where you been?

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Anus on a stick, the ancestral origin of the politician

nuff said

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Stomach-onna-stick

Is that the new haggis take-away shop in Glasgow?

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Only if C.M.O.T. Dibbler exsists in MeatSpace.

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Childcatcher

So..

..fossil botherers read Pratchett then.

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If it's soft bodied and its internals are mainly guts, how did the fossil get made?

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Soft tissues rarely fossilise, but in rare and ideal conditions, they can.

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Yes, interesting point... at university we were told by our geology lecturer (and not all that long ago, either) that no soft-bodied creatures were preserved in the fossil record.

Not only is this (obviously) untrue, they're not even rare in the fossil record! The problem is, most people working in this field are indoctrinated to believe that the fossil record represents millions of years of slow and gradual deposition when in fact it's very clear from any rational examination of the evidence that this is not true; the fossil record is evidence of watery destruction on a catastrophic worldwide scale, everything swept away or buried in massive layers of rapidly-deposited silt.

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A mixture of both, really.

A combination of the catastrophic (cf. the KT Impact, Burgess Shale etc.) and the gradual, such as various Ice Ages, the slow deposition of ocean sediment, mountain building and so forth.

Although the film Ice Age is and remains a bloody catastrophe if you ask me.

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WTF?

@AJ

Hang on, are you telling me my Christian Fundamentalist school friend was correct, and the fossil record is actual, scientific evidence of the biblical flood? Yikes, I owe someone an apology...

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Pint

Burgess Shale

If the creationists are right and fossils were planted by God to test our faith/as a joke/whatever, the angels who did the Burgess Shale designs must have been drinking something no longer available. Nearly everything in there is horror-movie weird

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Facepalm

What's the big deal?

These things still exist and fields of them are seen every day by recreational divers.

I've seen lots of them off the South African coast around Cape Town. No doubt they exist elsewhere too.

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Joke

Could we keep this secret from Japan?

Their tentacle approach is disturbing enough, thanks ;-)

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Coat

Will no one ask the obvious?

Playmobil reconstruction, please.

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