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Mornington Crescent

This topic was created by JimmyPage .

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Happy

Mornington Crescent

Following my own suggestion

Here's the thread for Mornington Crescent ...

Monument
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Bromley-le-Bow

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I object!

It's Bromley-by-Bow!

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Damn!

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Turnham Green (applying Morton's Fork), does that put me in Nidd?

Wait till the septics find this thread!

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Go

Can we have a ruling on that, please?

Are we playing Central Standard rules, or the Tudor Court rules, please?

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I refer my learned colleague

to "NF Stovold’s Mornington Crescent: Rules and Origins"

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The septics aren't surprised

We've learned to expect this sort of madness from you lot.

Besides, it's not as though we have any room to complain; so-called "alternate reality games" were invented over here, after all, and compared to that nonsense Mornington Crescent looks like a fine way to pass a dull afternoon.

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Q_Q

The Canadian feels lost and out of place. I am going outside to play hockey now; someone made a rink in the dog park, and I've got a frozen can of pop for a puck...

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Headmaster

BBC Radio 4 series: "I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue".

A very funny panel game show.

It started in the early '70s and has been running ever since, with a short break a couple of years back when its long-running presenter, Humphrey Lyttleton (a well-known jazz musician) passed away. You can find out more details from the usual online sources, so I won't bore you with the details here.

BBC iPlayer (radio) is your friend: for some inexplicable reason, most of their radio shows can be streamed overseas, although their TV shows can't unless you have the iPad / iPhone "iPlayer Global" app. (It's complicated.)

I only got into the series a few years ago myself, so it's not a given that every Brit has actually heard of it. It's also quite hit-and-miss as, aside from the presenter, there's no scripted material and not every ad-lib or improvisation can be successful. Even so, it's much funnier than it has any right to be.

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I recall hearing the first time Paul Merton appeared on the show, something like this:

"And now the Mornington Crescent round and as new boy, Paul Merton gets to start us off."

"I've been listening a bit and I think I understand this. Can I start from any tube station."

"Yes."

"What, anywhere at all?"

"Yes."

"Right then. Mornington Crescent."

"A fine win there for Paul Merton!"

I think this may have been the first time that was done.

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@ Sean:

The radio shows can be a little hit & miss, but I can highly recommend the collected shows on BBC CDs. These are longer than the broadcast shows as they include bits that were edited out which basically means that the double entendres get ruder and the running jokes run longer. Plus you can listen to them in the car - if it isn't considered too dangerous to be crying with laughter whilst bombing down the autoroute at 130 kph, which is when I usually listen.

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Happy

Laughing while driving? A mate nearly killed himself doing that. He was listening to the radio and there was a phone-in on the theme of "Body modifications you have had cause to regret".

Someone phoned in to say they knew someone who had the classic crap biro tattoos of "LOVE" and "HATE" on his fingers, just below the knuckle joints. He was a sheet metal worker, had had a nasty moment with the guillotine and ended up with "LOVE" and "HAT"....

This nearly caused a nasty encounter with a bridge pillar on the M6 at about 90mph.

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Happy

So what ARE the rules of this?

And don't say "google it", that kills discussion...

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Facepalm

The rules are self-explanatory of course.

If you do not understand this, you can only play during "free play" time on Tuesday afternoons.

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@Aaron Em

But you could just as easily play your own version - after all, why do you think Manhatten was laid out that way ? In fact, now I come to think of it, I'm sure a lot of movies set in New York are subtly playing anyway.

"Broadway and 43rd".

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@JimmyPage

I'm not familiar with the international rules, but presumably unless you're the nub holder I can still take us back to the northern line? Therefore: Clapham Common.

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MJI
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Never heard of it

What is it?

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Sorry if it's the obvious move but...

... Angel

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Too obvious

Because I can just wrong-road on the avoiding line and put you well and truly in huff:

Embankment.

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But then...

But then I'll just go to Tower Hill

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Anonymous Coward

Huffed at Embankment? Pointless.

Being one of the small number of stations where two lines run in parallel, I can simply travel one stop north on the Northern Line to Charing Cross and then immediately one stop south on the Bakerloo. BAM! Instant auto-triangulation round a short loop.

So, Embankment again, but not in huff this time.

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Doesn't matter because...

Indeed, very well played sir. A classic auto-triangulation.

Except that <gentle cough> you're now facing the wrong way.

And because the previous move reached the end of the Circle line, I can claim one additional platform, make an occulting turn at Holborn and jump over to

Goodge Street.

(Spivey's Adjudication, October 1973, Berlin All-Comers, I believe)

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No, that's not right...

You WILL be in huff! You can't cross parallels like that when moving vertically! We've already decided we're playing Stovald's, and Morton's Fork has been previously applied in this round.

I think you need to go again.

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Yes, but

Can't he just step back one block and wait at the calling-on signal? Would have the same effect (two changes of direction when moving between zones on a green).

Err, I think. Is there an adjudicator here?

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Anonymous Coward

Gentlemen, I think you have overlooked to keep abreast of the latest engineering circular.

I can see the source of your confusion, as it is a little-used rule, but you must have forgotten that there are currently escalator replacement works underway at Charing Cross, and this permits me to invoke Petherington's Limited Disabled Access Exemption! So I was simply able to reverse direction by performing an axial gyration at the midpoint of the journey; there was no need to cross parallels and Morton's Fork is irrelevant to the case.

However, as Mike so ably pointed out, I was still facing the wrong direction, which is why I did not contest the point.

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Doesn't the move to Goodge Street..

leave open to the intra-connection omnibus rule?

Straight to Notting Hill Gate, and an extra bonus move.

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Damn.

OK, I now have to overdouble on a crossing. Lose one carriage to put you in swing:

Perivale.

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I think I'm going to borrow Graham Garden's great move, that got him sacked from London Underground in the early 90s:

Cockfosters.

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Pint

Larkspur Ferry (Golden Gate rules ... which can be strange).

Pints all 'round at Fog City Diner.

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A bridge amendment, eh?

OK, I'll invoke a Nomenclature Recovery and pass through to:

London Bridge.

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But it's falling down...

Hmm, many interesting options here. London Bridge has a river pier, so one might play the Lighterman's defence, slide along the Thames and come in the DLR...

But I think I'll go for Doberman's Escape, and so my move is:

Heffalump & Castle

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Bad memories

A brave move indeed! I once got caught up the Elephant & Castle by the Chinese master Dung Bung. Never again.

Instead, a simple river crossing:

Morden.

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A river runs through it

Erm. which river did you cross? They're both South of The River [tm]. Or did you go via the Limpopo? I believe we need a ruling on this. Has the chairman fallen asleep?

I'm sorry to hear about your experiences with the fiendish Chinese Master. I had heard that in Soviet Russia, the dragon enters you. But I'd never believed it until now.

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Easy...

... the Effra!

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Pint

Elephant & Castle? You must be joking.

Highbury Crescent^W & Islington [1][2].

Beers all around at the Hope & Anchor. (Yes, I know it's not the same as it was when I was hanging out there in the late 1970s and early '80s ... I'm just being nostalgic here.)

[1] See why I see no need for strike?

[2]Yes, I know how physically close that is to the actual MC ;-)

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I see where this is going

Oh, I beat Mr Bung in the end. Managed to invoke a Take-Away Return and left him on the Dollis Hill loop stuck behind an engineering train with adverse possession. That'll learn 'im.

It counts as a simple river crossing if you don't reverse direction until you reach the end of the line OR change platforms at a junction. I was going to over-double at Stockwell, but would have risked being in nip to our friend waiting at the Elephant & Castle (Stovald, 3.11.25.16. para 2 if memory serves).

So let's pull a Stuart Retreat:

Royal Oak.

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Oh that's too easy!

Hammersmith.

Stitch that!

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Ouch! OK then

An Overground clinch:

Tottenham Court Road.

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Ah, a mistake I think

4 'T' s in a move and crossing the diagonal. That can only mean one thing:

Neasden

And I believe that's home in 2, unless you have a cunning plan.

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I don't know what this is about

But I'm enjoying it.

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Blinder

A very cunning move! I don't think that's been done in middle game since the Jubilee Line was opened. Looks like you're on a roll though, so:

Swiss Cottage.

Ha!

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That was a cheesy move.

Thus forcing me to invoke the Vivian Stanshall exception:

Rawlinson End.

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Tricky...

Hmmm... give me a second to smoke this pipe...

Aha! I do believe S. W. Geke's Alliterative Childhood Ravishment Fulmination applies here, so...

Jar-Jar Junction.

Your move, gentlemen!

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Smooth ...

I think the closest I can get to the movie set is Uxbridge.

Probably a mistake on my part, but there you have it.

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Smoother...

Except that's on the wrong side of the one-way system, which means a Contra-Bifurcation to draw level.

So I'll invoke a Double Kubrick and pass on four:

Bushey.

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&? Your point?

I believe the Tulip rules clearly indicate a return to Zone 1.

Barbican.

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Smoothest

Nicely done, sir. The alcohol-free zone covers the whole of the sub-surface lines though, which means that according to the latest pricing structure for off-peak travel, there's no penalty for stopping at Zone 2 with the DLA on hold.

Which gives me a choice here. I could possibly call a Thameslink Divide and come back in on the Metropolitan line, which would seem to force a follow-on at Angel, but that means I stop at the end of the block and risk being in Nidd.

So instead I think I'll go for Rafferty's gambit:

Baker Street.

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Age before beauty? I think not.

Kilburn.

Oh ... Wait ... make that The Highroads High Barnet.

I'll probably lose a turn in Knaresborough Castle's dungeon for that one ...

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Didn't think I looked that old.

So I'll just go back to school:

Grange Hill.

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