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back to article Iraq demands return of Saddam Hussein's arse

The Iraqi government is demanding the return of a piece of Saddam Hussein's tyrannical arse "liberated" by a former SAS soldier during the fall of the dictator's regime in 2003. Nigel "Spud" Ely was acting as bodyguard for a TV news crew during the coalition's overthrow of Hussein. Arriving in Baghdad shortly after jubilant …

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Trollface

Send it back C.O.D

Let them pay the quite considerable postage....

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Sounds like...

...a bit of a bum deal really!!

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Mr Ely embodies a signature British tradition ... Warcriminal Thievery

but as he is a petty [and rather dim-witted] robber, not a learned barrister who 'thinks big' enough to get away with literal mass murder whilst making millions and being crowned a 'Peace Envoy' by fellow 'elite' warcrims, he must be severely punished in order to prove the moral fibre of the superior thieves whose tricks of the trade he has so ineptly attempted to emulate.

Ho-hum, so it goes!

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Black Helicopters

IMO this shows us...

That the Iraqi's think way less negative about Hussein than we are made to believe and that they don't like his persona to be ridiculed like this. And if you don't believe that you should check up on some newspapers and local media; /many/ believe that their lives were a lot better under the regime of Hussein than it is now.

You can say from Hussein what you want; but he /did/ manage to keep the warlords and local tribes under control, eventually making the civilians benefit from it. And before anyone brings up the "war crimes" against the Kurds I'd suggest you look into what the Turks are currently doing there. True; its not the alleged musterd gas, they are "only" bombing them with napalm and everything else they can find.

Because well... Turkey considers the Kurds terrorists. Ironic isn't it ?

Obviously the black helicopter because I strongly believe that there was a /lot/ more going on in Iraq than we have been told. Some parts has already been proven; its just too bad that it usually takes more than a decennia before the real (ugly) truth comes out.

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Anonymous Coward

Say what you like about Hitler and Mussolini, but the trains always ran on time!

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Facepalm

Lies....

...next you'll be saying the UK and large sections of the rest of the EU supported Gaddiffi as helped stem the flow of immigrants into the EU...Oh wait....

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Especially

The ones to Auschwitz.

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Anonymous Coward

Actually....

...the Musonlini and train thing, well it's not actually true. But hey...facts who needs them.

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More pertinently, it indicates that the Iraqi People ...

... whose country the British sub-Government illegally invaded, occupied and destroyed in an historic joint warcriminal enterprise with the Bankrupt Banana Empire of Yankistan, has swallowed a whole lot less of the ludicrous 'liberation' propaganda than the 'news controllers' of the aggressor nations had hoped, and that the consequent retribution to be exacted for the unlimited murder and mayhem inflicted upon them is far from over.

BTW, to summarise Saddam Hussein: he started as a typical enough US-franchised sub-Dictator oiled into the saddle by standard CIA machinations, whose every warcrime while he followed the diktat of Washington [e.g. playing their proxy in attacking Iran] was approved, sponsored and justified with further weapons deliveries. Only when he stopped taking orders was he provoked and set up for destruction, via Cheney's KBR slant-drilling operation into the Rumaila oilfield from Kuwait. Towards the end he largely redeemed himself by breaking the US-petrodollar monopoly, supporting the legitimate national Resistance and preferring to die honourably, having spat upon rather than touch the proffered declaration of surrender in exchange for his signing of which the Neo-Mongol Invaders promised to spare his life. The subsequent filthy murder after a kangaroo charade was hurried to silence exposure of the much greater warcriminals whom he had turned away from serving. His last words were "Down with the traitors, the Americans, the spies and the Persians."

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FAIL

Tune in for Knochen Brittle's new biopic

"Jeff Dahmer and J. W. Gacey -- misunderstood freedom fighters".

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Does that mean you disagree with something I said?

If so, try to spell it out in cleartext if that's not too taxing for you. As it stands, your rhetorical squib has all the properties of a fag-end retrieved from the toilet ~ soggy, stinking and difficult to light.

Butt enjoy blowing your smoke.

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This post has been deleted by its author

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I think we've found Baghdad Bob!

Where have you been hiding, Bob?

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Actually Mussolini just ordered the burning of waste shrubs in order to save coal.

He made the trains run on thyme!

I'm here all week .... try the veal ... remember to tip your waitress ....

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FAIL

The fact that you don't 'get it' speaks volumes.

Think a little harder about exactly who it is that you are rehabilitating.

Try reading this -- if you have a strong stomach.

http://editinternational.com/read.php?id=47ddcef722fca

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In other words, you don't dispute any fact in my summary of S.Hussein.

Well done, but I had already 'got' that.

If you claim your link refutes anything I said, just specify what that is ~ I won't waste my time on a goose chase to try and discover a point you fail to make.

Political rehabilitation is reserved for those sufficiently alive to be returned to whatever fold they once departed ~ hardly applicable here.

Now to wrap up, without volumes, let me suggest an explanation to break this down for you using the theory of Cognitive Dissonance Reduction in sensu Festinger:

1. You were bemused by and reflexively objected to being unexpectedly confronted with an accurate and unbiased take [i.e. NON-propaganda] on an 'official demon' about whom you have been saturated in the aforementioned greater warcriminals' agitprop for many years.

2. You could not resolve why this novel disjunctive history should so irk you, or coherently formulate an objection.

3. The reason it irked you is that, if I am right and you believed the agitprop, then you have been politically duped and cynically used to obtain your support for or at least acquiesence to some pretty filthy warcrimes of which Hitler himself would rightly have been jealous.

4. Nobody likes to think he has been scammed, particularly on a monumental, life-altering scale.

5. A 'strong sender' [Western 'Establishment' + NATO lackeys] has broadcast the official propaganda 24/7 for decades, with every intention to continue indefinitely. Their 'message' was/is streamlined and palatably presented as if self-evident and already accepted by the large majority of 'reasonable people'. Swallowing it bears no immediately perceptible penalty, in fact, it flatters those who do that they join in a righteous cause, to encourage peer-pressure reiteration and propagation. Lucre beyond the dreams of avarice [not for you!] rides on the successful penetration and a corresponding investment is made. Furthermore, as we both know, they realistically threaten every effort to punish those who seriously oppose their criminal politics.

6. I am a comparatively weak and intermittent sender, neither counting on benefit nor caring a toss how you take it. I invest little more than my spare time and omit the sugar glaze. You may find sparse peers who agree, but I will not persecute you if you do not.

7. As they are diametrically opposed, however, you must either accept the position of the strong or weak sender.

8. Leaving all other factors aside, e.g. morality, facts, etc., continuing to go with the flow and at least superficially act in conformity with the message of the strong sender seems to you [whether consciously or not] the path of least resistance/cost, thus the one for which you have unsurprisingly opted.

9. However, to reduce the lingering cognitive dissonance raised between [in]action and actual belief, and it being easier to try to change your mind than pick the path less trodden, you seek to find a rationalisation to lessen the 'acceptability' of the unpreferred version. In this case, lacking logic, argument or facts in support, you reverted to ad hominem attempts to impugn my character.

10. Hence, without seeing the irony, you try to accuse me of supporting a sub-ex-warcriminal, which I have and do not, to excuse yourself for supporting the supra-current ones, which it does not and you effectively do.

11. This is not a personal criticism, merely taking this example to discuss the way the human brain is wired to work. Understanding how the psychotrick can be exploited by misrulers is useful for political analysis.

12. Despite being the bearer of distasteful news, I think it better to face facts than live wrapped in convenient [not for you!] and politically counterproductive [not for them!] delusions induced by those with ulterior motives.

Over.

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Addendum

Of course, in this field, natural talent was always way ahead of formal science:

"All this was inspired by the principle — which is quite true in itself — that in the big lie there is always a certain force of credibility. Because the broad masses of a nation are always more easily corrupted in the deeper strata of their emotional nature than consciously or voluntarily.

And thus in the primitive simplicity of their minds they more readily fall victims to the big lie than the small lie, since they themselves often tell small lies in little matters but would be ashamed to resort to large-scale falsehoods. It would never come into their heads to fabricate colossal untruths, and they would not believe that others could have the impudence to distort the truth so infamously.

Even though the facts which prove this to be so may be brought clearly to their minds, they will still doubt and waver and will continue to think that there may be some other explanation. For the grossly impudent lie always leaves traces behind it, even after it has been nailed down, a fact which is known to all expert liars in this world and to all who conspire together in the art of lying. These people know only too well how to use falsehood for the basest purposes."

~ Adolph Hitler, 'Mein Kampf', 1925

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Alert

Maybe they can split it

one cheek for UK vets, the other cheek for iraq vets..

there are going to be plenty of cracks on this story!

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Coat

This story...

...is not to be sniffed at!

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Stop

Am I alone

in taking this story as evidence that Iran is managing to become a fairly ordered society ? Surely a good thing ? (Not that anyone called Saddam Shirley).

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FAIL

Yes, Jimmy, you are alone

Once you work out the difference between Iran and Iraq, we'll be other there. Come join us.

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Happy

Glad to see

(I think you mean over)

Glad to see the universal law still applies - any comment pointing out another's typo, itself contains a banana.

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Happy

Shuldn't that be bandana?

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Joke

RE: Glad to see

I tink You shoUld"ve used a : and not a - betWEen 'applies' and 'any',,,

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Anonymous Coward

A hippo with a bandana? oh my head hurts.

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Trollface

It should be kept

In a suppo...err...repository for the anally inclined to admire.

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Joke

I just got told about this on Skype.

Saw the story here.

I need to share the puns from there.

Me: What are they going to do with it?

Me: Install it at the barracks as a Bikeraq?

Them: they regard it as a cultural antiquity

Them: lol

Me: "Father, look what I stole"

Me: or

Me: "Look what I bagged, Dad!"

Them: "Return it? Nah, can't be arsed."

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Sir

"I need to share the puns from there."

Just because you feel a need to do something, it doesn't necessarily follow good taste to follow up on it. :P

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Since when...

..was good taste a criteria fr posting on the Reg?

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So now he can hand the Iraqis their arse.

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"Ely, 52, smuggled his booty out of Iraq, claiming it was a piece of armoured vehicle."

British tanks are made of bronze? I know our forces ain't what they used to be but I thought we'd've got at least as far as Iron Working on the tech tree by now.

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Yeah, the Bronze tanks replaced the stone tanks used in the last century..

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g e
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I thought thought the mental image funny

Coppers.

Interrogating an SAS officer trained to resist interrogation

Oh well, maybe it was funnier in my head...

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Coffee/keyboard

Congrats, Lester!

You got me at "...smuggled his booty out of Iraq." Sad to say, but that was perhaps the ONE pun I was not expecting. Well done, sir.

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Gimp

Maybe...

...he should have put a ring on it!

(sorry, for soe reason Beyonce came to mind - probably the booty reference)

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I couldn't swear to it........

........but I'm sure a colleague of mine accidentally came across Saddam Husseins arse the other week.

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Devil

I imagine...

..it's probably a little wrinkled by now but whatever rocks his boat!

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Anonymous Coward

futurama

You can have it back whn you kiss my shiney metal ass

Although I thought the line of police probling a stole arse is rther amusing.

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The Streisand Effect working again.

If he didn't have much luck selling it before, he won't now!

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Anonymous Coward

I can't believe our government.

They've sat by and figuratively turned the other cheek for years, and now all this rumpus.

Yvonne. RIP at last.

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