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back to article Cops cuff rectal shoplifter

Police in the Czech Republic have arrested a man who attempted to steal a digital music player by concealing it in his anus. The thief was caught when the shoplifting alarm rang loud and proud at the supermarket he had entered in the town of Prerov. Nabbed by staff, he was found to have a pair of earphones stashed in his slacks …

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Silver badge

Nnnngh....too many jokes.....X_x

He's really in the shitter now.

He's given himself training for his time inside.

'Twas a really crap attempt at shoplifting....

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Joke

With headlines like this

With headlines like this the death of paper newspapers will only be a matter of time.

Apart from covering the angle were this proves time-travel and is the origins of the often used term `bum rap`, I think were done here.

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Trollface

Was it a

Zune?

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Trollface

Well,

It was the right colour for a Zune when extracted ....

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Silver badge

"Police hope he is not part of a organised crime ring."

Ya, no shit

erm, sorry

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Joke

What Player?

This article doesn't state which player was secreted. Surely, this is important due to the eye watering difference between a first gen iPod and an iPod nano.

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Trollface

there are rumours that...

It was the latest Apple iPood.

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Paris Hilton

He should form a double act with that 'youtube sensation' woman caught on cctv taking a dump in a shop!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A-JHLXMGB70

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404
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Well

having worked for a state corrections dept in my sordid past... I have stories....

Like you know how your mother told you never to put money in your mouth cuz you don't know where it's been? She was entirely correct - had an inmate atm in one incident... dry-celled him after visitation one day due to some suspicious behavior.. he eventually shit two twenties and a ten dollar bill...

Shampoo bottles, lighters, drugs, money... what folks will do doesn't amazed me anymore.... to my great disappointment . There are some things I'd rather be ignorant of, ya know?

8|

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i would have just dumped it

:-D

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Coat

Presumably the con was examined by the prison doctor afterwards to make sure he was OK, and advised to get in touch if there was any change.

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404
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Coffee/keyboard

Buck o'five... in nickels

That_was_freaking_awesome!

Wife thought I was crazy just now lol

;)

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Bronze badge

Reminds me of the tyke who went to the doctors with a sore bum. The doctor extracted 99 twenty pound notes from the patient's backside. To which the patient explained that was probably why he wasn't feeling too grand.

Yes, I know, I'm getting it.

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FAIL

RRRRs Bandit?

make a good item for the "refurb" section.

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Gimp

There goes that lovely "new electronics" aroma... :(

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Anonymous Coward

How could he do that?

How could he conceal the music player in his arse when his head was already up there?

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Anonymous Coward

"You can see where this is going, can't you?"

NOT looking. However, I've heard-tell it's pretty dark thereabouts...

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Anonymous Coward

Anyone who feels they need to do this

Deserves to keep the item in question.

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Thumb Up

Unacceptable prose!

Totally disgusting - can I get a refund?

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IR

I hope the device had rounded corners.

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Unhappy

Did they want it back?

...probably a lot easier these days than in the days of the old Victrolas...

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Anonymous Coward

Rectum

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Bronze badge
Joke

Rectum? Darn near kilt 'em!

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This would never have happened if we'd stuck with personal cassette players.

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Coat

Bum Wrap

No more to add...

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Coat

Will they be making a ......

motion picture of this ?

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Anonymous Coward

He should've put the tube of lube up there too.

Then it would've been the perfect crime.

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Anonymous Coward

You can shove that iPod up your arse.

No! I didn't mean litera.... oh too late.

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Joke

Time inside?

"The thief was later found to have a "colourful" criminal record and done time inside."

No, no. If he'd stolen a wristwatch he would have done time inside.

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Anonymous Coward

Ouch!

Thats got to hurt...

It does make me wonder though, how (un)stable would the battery have to be in one of these MP3 players for it to go into thermal runaway when heated up?

AC/DC

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Coat

When the cops confronted the thief...

...did they order, "Blow it out your ass?"

This reminded me of the old one about the nurse who shoved a thermometer up between her legs and rectum.

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Anonymous Coward

Maybe it's a present...

...for his homeboy cellmate in prison?

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Happy

Bummer!!!!

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This gives me an idea

For a new range of "Hands free" music players

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