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back to article Well, burn my atomic-clock-powered new human renaissance platform

"A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions," Proverbs 18:2 tells us. So thank goodness the Internet was invented. Here's our annual selection of barmy and brilliant things said in 2011 - this year's selection leans heavily towards the barmy. Mark Zuckerberg "We've made a bunch of …

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FAIL

May I take this opportunity to say...

PLEASE El Reg, lose the bloody annoying Microsoft Cloud banner add which keeps changing size, and causes the whole page content to jump about like a startled gazelle.

Yes, I know ads are needed to make you money, but FFS get ones that aren't written by a bunch of half-trained monkeys.

Sheesh!

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Ru
Unhappy

I hadn't seen that advert until you mentioned it

So not only is it particularly annoying, but I feel that it is now partially your fault.

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Anonymous Coward

RE: May I take this opportunity to say...

EVERYTHING from Microsoft seems to be written by a bunch of half-trained monkeys...

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Trollface

re: May I take this opportunity to say...

...MS Cloud banner ad? _What_ MS Cloud banner ad?

NoScript, AdBlockPlus FTW.

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Thumb Up

Wow, what an unbelievably bitchy article

I love it. More of this sort of thing, please.

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Anonymous Coward

Jobs' last words

oh ouch, oh ouch, oh ouch!

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Re: Jobs' last words

If he really was a Buddhist then his last words were most likely, "I hope I get it right next time around".

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As long as it wasn't "As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly."

That would be wrong. Funny, but wrong.

#obscure

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Pint

@Armando 123

A Les Nesman quote? Not that obscure. Probably the funniest episode of the series as well, it wasn't from this year though.

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WKRP was one of the best shows ever and the turkey episode may have been the best>

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Anonymous Coward

"Oh no,

not again. Hey, look- a surprised looking sperm whale!"

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Coat

And now more news and Les Nesman...

It was WKRP General Manager Arthur Carlson who said "As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly."

Mine's the one with a 3rd class phone with broadcast endorsement in the pocket.

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Coat

@unitron

oh !@#$#@! Yep, you are correct of course. I remembered it in my head as Les having said the line. Ooops. Right episode, wrong character. Now I've got to watch the whole thing again for a proper refresher.

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Devil

@admiraljkb

You would be surprised how many people my age, who were the prime age group to watch WKRP, don't remember the show very much, if it all. And that's in the US; I don't think it was ever shown in the UK. However, anyone who saw that episode, with Les Nessman reporting on the turkeys like the Hindenburg disaster, and Mr. Carl.son's last line, will never forget it.

IIRC, that episode is on Hulu in its entirety. Hm, may need to surf over there tonight after work ...

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Yep, watched the whole episode last night, and aside from the Hidenburg reporting and the last line (which I misremembered who spoke it), I didn't remember much of anything about WHY the turkeys were being tossed out the helicopter. Still funny after all these years.

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FAIL

Is that a beam in El Reg's eye?

The Register's continued Clarksonesque blustering about Fukushima is a constant embarrassment, saying that wind-power has killed more people is an argument worthy of Creationists.

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Anonymous Coward

Curious change of heart

"A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions"

So we can expect future articles on climate change to contain some actual discussion of science, preferably with some recourse to mathematical equations and raw data and not charts and graphs devoid of any methodology?

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Bronze badge

re: Is that a beam...?

_Thank_ you. If El Reg had bothered to actually _follow_ any of the news coming out of Fukushima, they would've knocked off the denialist raving long ago.

Seriously, Reg... you guys are right about stuff pretty much 95% of the time, but on the Fukushima nuke disaster, it seems you just can't stop digging a hole for yourselves.

Really, guys... time to cut your losses and STOP DIGGING, f'cripesake.

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Anonymous Coward

Were his last words not

Can we patent dying?

or

I'm ahead of Bill this time

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Trollface

Change your plane of existence

Not that big of a deal.

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Everyone knows SJ's last word was

Ahhhhhh~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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tinsel tits / evan davies

shurely shome mishtake - it's *twinkle* tits. on account of the impressive piercings he sports in the old papilla mammaria, er, area.

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FAIL

"And the death toll from radiation release (as opposed to the quake and tsunami wave)? Zero, and set to remain at zero."

Bull. Shit.

You need to start paying closer attention to what's really going on at Fukushima. Far, far worse than Chernobyl.

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"You need to start paying closer attention to what's really going on at Fukushima. Far, far worse than Chernobyl." [citation needed]

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Mushroom

http://spectrum.ieee.org/tech-talk/energy/nuclear/fukushimas-reactor-1-meltdown-was-worse-than-we-realized

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Worse than we thought? I depends how bad you thought it was in the first place. Some people here thought it was Armageddon so a headline like might be alarming to them.

"I'm looking forward to results of the Japanese government's investigation into what TEPCO knew, and when they knew it."

So am I. However, My thinking so far is that if you can 'cover up' a nuclear accident it can't have been that bad.

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@ Drew 11

Re: your source: worse than Chernobyl...

So...a full-on reactor explosion through all safety layers, with ejection of core material into the atmosphere, spreading long half-life radioactive material across most of Europe is some *less* serious than a still-contained partial meltdown with very limited short-half life emissions?

Your source only says that the damage is worse than originally estimated. Which is fair. But please provide a scientific source which actually backs up your story, claiming FS is *worse* than Chernobyl.

Bets you won't find any...

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Happy

She can read?

Holy crap, I need to keep up. I thought she'd only just mastered crayons...

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Anonymous Coward

“Oh wow. Oh wow. Oh wow.”

Saw St. Peter using an Android tablet.

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"Oh wow" or "Oh ow"?

I'm convinced it was the latter, rather than the former.

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Johann Hari is coming back?

I thought the Independent had really hit the slopes when it was bought by Russian oligarch Alexander Lebedev a couple of years ago (there's an extraordinary clip of him punching another guest off their chair on a talk show on YouTube: nice guy). But RE-hiring Hari? Bad enough that they hired ihim in the first place. He writes trite shite and has the ethics of a weasal.

I used to *like* that paper.

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Gold badge
Facepalm

Worse than that. Next time he's caught writing fictitious bollocks, his shiny new qualification will reinforce his shield of self-righteous smugness tenfold.

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Mushroom

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/22206700

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Bronze badge

And quoth that article: "The activity concentrations of (131)I and (137)Cs were found to be by 4 orders of magnitude lower as compared to the Chernobyl accident."

So in what way was Fukushima "much, much worse than Chernobyl"?

Thus far you've cited two sources, both of which contradict your claims. In rhetoric we call this "an abject fucking failure to make your argument".

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Anonymous Coward

Yes I downloaded and watched that BBC docu/lick-fest about Zuckerberg and Facebook and while Zuckerberg came over as what he is, a workaholic teenager pretending to be an adult, the whole thing made me want to puke. I managed about 20 minutes then had to stop it was just sickening, simply glossing over the unpleasant bits, "Users privacy is paramount and has been a cause for concern which Facebook is always striving to improve. Mark, why are you so great and why haven't you been presented with your Nobel prize for peace yet? I can't live without Facebook and neither can the 400,000 friends I have on it!".

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