iPhone users get iJustHadAShag bedpost-notch boast app
iOS users who fondle more than a slab now have an app to help them report the fact instantly, without having to compose the previously-requisite 140-character double entendre. I Just Made Love lets the user select the kind of relationship, and positions explored, then geotags the entry with a Google Maps mashup so everyone can …
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May I be permitted to correct this report a touch?
"iOS users who fondle more than a slab now *and then* have an app to help them report the fact"
Already have so many ideas to market it...
Grindr plugin is the first!
With geotagging it would help you remember which neighbours you have already had a coffee with, so you can avoid them and make new local friends
I'm sure there's another article...
... somewhere around here with the comments filled by fanbois berating the quality of the Android market place. Really? REALLY?!
Paris, because...because....oh I give up.
I want to make a comment
But for some reason I just can't find the strength
Fornication foibles
The question on Gizmodo asks "Can somebody tell me what kind of helpless imbecile wants to broadcast where he or she just have had sex, down to the GPS location and sexual position?" is surely answered thus:
An iPhone owner
Nuff said!
(Paris: Well there is one download guaranteed)
Seconded
That's consistent with the fact that there are only two kinds of "lovers": those who actually have sex, and those who talk about having sex.
Reminds me of the College Humour sketch
Odd how real life follows comedy...
NSFW
http://blog.collegehumor.com/post/3068719109/foursquare-for-sex-dont-check-in-without-her
hmm...
Fail for the lack of camera integration because, as everyone knows, the internet's response is likely to be 'PoiDH'.
There's a word for people who would want an app like this
And that word is 'virgin'.
Says the guy...
Posting on a technology websites forum at 10 o'clock in the evening.
Missing option
It seems to lack the mostly like used position for that user base; the five finger shuffle.
The accelerometer
The built-in accelerometer detects the activity and shos you a different menu of positions to choose from.
There's two people in most of those "positions" icons. I'm sure that's one two many for most apple fanbois.
Wow, another pointless, stupid 'fucking' app. Is this newsworthy? I'll answer that for you. NO.
Did you do it on a boat?
Or did you do it with a goat?
(with apologies to Dr Seuss)
Whats The Point?
Doubt this app will get used very much, masturbation doesn't count.
Maybe in the future
they could get Siri to rate you based on how loud your other half yells, and what he or she yells?
Nice iconography
Is that the London 2012 Olympics logo I can see on there? Oh no, wait...
Wankers
They do not have a box for Mrs Hand and her five lovely daughters - by far the most likely activity of anyone downloading this app.
Was this app made by Samsung to make iPhone users look worse?
Or was Samsung right in the first place with their adds?
( Hard time to decide between "Joke" or "Troll" icon d:^° )
Re: How the hell did that get past Apple's censors?!
Easy!
There are words in the app that they just don't comprehend. They are:
I + just + had + a + shag
None of them understand it when used in this context.
Call me a cynic
I think this will mostly be used by sad dweebs who aren't doing anything. Or at least with anyone but themselves. It will be the latest version of the imaginary girlfriend.
And any chap (it seems to be aimed at chaps) who pauses to notify the world of his, erm, situation, risks joining the sad dweeb club about 5 seconds afterwards.
Shurely IJUSTHADALOBOTOMY would be far more appropriate.
Kiss-n-Tell for geeky cads...
Seriously - Do cads really need a new way to brag?
strange
There was me thinking all iPhone users were total wankers
this is definetly one for the jokers
Just think where you could go to and post ! Blackpool Tower, The o2, Spaghetti junction, The White Cliffs of Dover. Parliament Square, Buckingham Palace, The White House, The Vatican, Alcatraz, Wembley stadium @ the cup final. the possibilities are endless.
That's it.
Android just can't compete with high quality apps like this, I'm switching.
We've come a long way
...and this is humanity's zenith.
...options limited to one partner...
So it won't handle those flying solo when joining the mile high club.
What? No threesome button?
How the hell are you supposed to brag properly without buttons for things like "Threesome" and "Famous person"?
Don't worry you're not really
" at risk of quoting Tina Turner "
'cos it was written by Terry Britten and Graham Lyle...
Thanks for the inspiration
I'll go start designing iMaginaryGirlfriend, which sends you "texts" and sometimes phones you - according to your schedule - to make your 14 year old friends think you've pulled.
Exclusive to iPhone! Because that's where the market is.
frequently bought together
Does it show recommendations a la Customers Who Did This Here Also Did That There?
I'm all for a laugh and definately for taking money from suckers prepared to pay for this sort of shite, but is this what the human race has come to? Making time to use an expensive gadget to record positions during your list of horizontal dance moves?
At this rate I don't think the human race will ever rise above that 37% we managed to get down our evolutionary path!
COULD LEAD TO
Legal action. If you are faffing with your phone you are not giving 100%, a not so satisfied lady might object to the publication of your 'GOAL'.
It's true your honour, he was always playing with his phone.
Why is...
... one of the figures pink and the other blue?
Where is my...
"iJustDroppedAMassiveSteamer" app?
I'm a happily co-habiting man so I don't get too much use for the one in the article :D
iJustHadAShag - Translation
I just watched Top Gear while wanking
Rating out of 5: Didn't shoot my load until
1pt - After the credits
2pts - Saw the first red car that wasn't a Ferrari
3pts - Any colour Ferrari except red
4pts - A red Ferrari
5pts - Caught a glimpse of Jeremy Clarkson
Well...
I wondered how to record my purchase of an Axminster. Now there's an app for that.
I was mistaken, then
I foolishly believed this was aimed at gourmands, who may recently have dined on a seabird of the North Atlantic related to the cormorant
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