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back to article iPhone users get iJustHadAShag bedpost-notch boast app

iOS users who fondle more than a slab now have an app to help them report the fact instantly, without having to compose the previously-requisite 140-character double entendre. I Just Made Love lets the user select the kind of relationship, and positions explored, then geotags the entry with a Google Maps mashup so everyone can …

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Trollface

May I be permitted to correct this report a touch?

"iOS users who fondle more than a slab now *and then* have an app to help them report the fact"

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Paris Hilton

Already have so many ideas to market it...

Grindr plugin is the first!

With geotagging it would help you remember which neighbours you have already had a coffee with, so you can avoid them and make new local friends

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Paris Hilton

I'm sure there's another article...

... somewhere around here with the comments filled by fanbois berating the quality of the Android market place. Really? REALLY?!

Paris, because...because....oh I give up.

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Anonymous Coward

I want to make a comment

But for some reason I just can't find the strength

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Paris Hilton

Fornication foibles

The question on Gizmodo asks "Can somebody tell me what kind of helpless imbecile wants to broadcast where he or she just have had sex, down to the GPS location and sexual position?" is surely answered thus:

An iPhone owner

Nuff said!

(Paris: Well there is one download guaranteed)

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Holmes

Seconded

That's consistent with the fact that there are only two kinds of "lovers": those who actually have sex, and those who talk about having sex.

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Alert

Arrrgh

CIVILISATION IS OFFICIALLY OVER

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Joke

Reminds me of the College Humour sketch

Odd how real life follows comedy...

NSFW

http://blog.collegehumor.com/post/3068719109/foursquare-for-sex-dont-check-in-without-her

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Anonymous Coward

hmm...

Fail for the lack of camera integration because, as everyone knows, the internet's response is likely to be 'PoiDH'.

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Silver badge
FAIL

There's a word for people who would want an app like this

And that word is 'virgin'.

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Joke

Says the guy...

Posting on a technology websites forum at 10 o'clock in the evening.

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Trollface

Missing option

It seems to lack the mostly like used position for that user base; the five finger shuffle.

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Anonymous Coward

The accelerometer

The built-in accelerometer detects the activity and shos you a different menu of positions to choose from.

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Bronze badge

There's two people in most of those "positions" icons. I'm sure that's one two many for most apple fanbois.

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WTF?

Wow, another pointless, stupid 'fucking' app. Is this newsworthy? I'll answer that for you. NO.

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Anonymous Coward

Did you do it on a boat?

Or did you do it with a goat?

(with apologies to Dr Seuss)

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Paris Hilton

There's a song

about this sort of thing...

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0

Will that be Transvision Vamp, "I Don't Care" ?

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Whats The Point?

Doubt this app will get used very much, masturbation doesn't count.

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Joke

iJustMadeLove

to Rosie Palm and her 5 daughters.

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Maybe in the future

they could get Siri to rate you based on how loud your other half yells, and what he or she yells?

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Anonymous Coward

Nice iconography

Is that the London 2012 Olympics logo I can see on there? Oh no, wait...

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zb
FAIL

Wankers

They do not have a box for Mrs Hand and her five lovely daughters - by far the most likely activity of anyone downloading this app.

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Joke

Was this app made by Samsung to make iPhone users look worse?

Or was Samsung right in the first place with their adds?

( Hard time to decide between "Joke" or "Troll" icon d:^° )

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How the hell did that get past Apple's censors?!

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Facepalm

Re: How the hell did that get past Apple's censors?!

Easy!

There are words in the app that they just don't comprehend. They are:

I + just + had + a + shag

None of them understand it when used in this context.

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Bronze badge

Call me a cynic

I think this will mostly be used by sad dweebs who aren't doing anything. Or at least with anyone but themselves. It will be the latest version of the imaginary girlfriend.

And any chap (it seems to be aimed at chaps) who pauses to notify the world of his, erm, situation, risks joining the sad dweeb club about 5 seconds afterwards.

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Anonymous Coward

Shurely IJUSTHADALOBOTOMY would be far more appropriate.

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Thumb Down

Kiss-n-Tell for geeky cads...

Seriously - Do cads really need a new way to brag?

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Stop

strange

There was me thinking all iPhone users were total wankers

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This post has been deleted by a moderator

Thumb Up

this is definetly one for the jokers

Just think where you could go to and post ! Blackpool Tower, The o2, Spaghetti junction, The White Cliffs of Dover. Parliament Square, Buckingham Palace, The White House, The Vatican, Alcatraz, Wembley stadium @ the cup final. the possibilities are endless.

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That's it.

Android just can't compete with high quality apps like this, I'm switching.

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Anonymous Coward

the winpho port adds

...and I'm all by myself....

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Frat boy bullshit

That is all.

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We've come a long way

...and this is humanity's zenith.

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...options limited to one partner...

So it won't handle those flying solo when joining the mile high club.

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FAIL

What? No threesome button?

How the hell are you supposed to brag properly without buttons for things like "Threesome" and "Famous person"?

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Headmaster

Don't worry you're not really

" at risk of quoting Tina Turner "

'cos it was written by Terry Britten and Graham Lyle...

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Anonymous Coward

Thanks for the inspiration

I'll go start designing iMaginaryGirlfriend, which sends you "texts" and sometimes phones you - according to your schedule - to make your 14 year old friends think you've pulled.

Exclusive to iPhone! Because that's where the market is.

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Anonymous Coward

frequently bought together

Does it show recommendations a la Customers Who Did This Here Also Did That There?

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Anonymous Coward

I'm all for a laugh and definately for taking money from suckers prepared to pay for this sort of shite, but is this what the human race has come to? Making time to use an expensive gadget to record positions during your list of horizontal dance moves?

At this rate I don't think the human race will ever rise above that 37% we managed to get down our evolutionary path!

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Silver badge

COULD LEAD TO

Legal action. If you are faffing with your phone you are not giving 100%, a not so satisfied lady might object to the publication of your 'GOAL'.

It's true your honour, he was always playing with his phone.

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Anonymous Coward

Why is...

... one of the figures pink and the other blue?

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Where is my...

"iJustDroppedAMassiveSteamer" app?

I'm a happily co-habiting man so I don't get too much use for the one in the article :D

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Anonymous Coward

iJustHadAShag - Translation

I just watched Top Gear while wanking

Rating out of 5: Didn't shoot my load until

1pt - After the credits

2pts - Saw the first red car that wasn't a Ferrari

3pts - Any colour Ferrari except red

4pts - A red Ferrari

5pts - Caught a glimpse of Jeremy Clarkson

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TRT
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Holmes

Well...

I wondered how to record my purchase of an Axminster. Now there's an app for that.

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I was mistaken, then

I foolishly believed this was aimed at gourmands, who may recently have dined on a seabird of the North Atlantic related to the cormorant

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