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back to article Boffing boffins create 3D map of orgasmic female brain

A team at Rutgers University claims that women use up to 80 different points in their brain when orgasming, a discovery achieved by mapping the moment in 3D using a MRI scanner. The team, which presented their research at the recent Society for Neuroscience conference in Washington DC, persuaded female volunteers to achieve …

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Pint

It's not that we don't believe the female orgasm exists. It's that we don't care.

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FAIL

Speak for yourself

If you'd EVER actually managed to make a woman orgasm, you'd then know how bloody excellent the reciprocal results can be when it's 'your turn'. Quid pro quo and all that... ;-)

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Anonymous Coward

As I'm sure others will have thought

Why not get in touch with the guys from f***ingmachines.com to make a hands-free, remote operated stimulation device? My...err...friend tells me they're pretty good at rigging up said devices- so surely a change of material to plastic wouldn't be too difficult? Maybe even just going for the lower-tech "tie it to a wooden broom handle" method? Either way, it seems like it'd give better results.

By better, I mean "doesn't involve other thought"; this is suggested as the reason their prefrontal cortex was lit up, and it IS a secondary activity involving a surprising amount of co-ordination (when done properly).

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Anonymous Coward

<me> raises hand.

"The full study has not yet been peer-reviewed or published, but the team hope to do so as soon as possible."

I'll volunteer.. all in the name of science, of course.

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Happy

Having a bit of a big shiny machine fettish,

getting off in an MRI scanner might just work here!

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Title Was 'Ere

"The scans were then melded into a single video"

In the interest of science, I would need to see video footage of both the scans AND the experiment actually being conducted.

So that *legitimate reason goes here*.

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Anonymous Coward

anyone

who didn't rate this article as orgasmic is tired of life.

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Anonymous Coward

"Nippular"

is this a Register neologism or a regular word?

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I need one of those machines.

A while back, I was doing a bit of research involving trying to measure sexual response using an EEG, but a lot of the structures involved in arousal and orgasm are very deeply buried in the brain, and activation of those areas is difficult to pick out from surface electrodes. Since this was a bit of independent research not connected with a well-funded lab (I had to scrape and scrounge for equipment), I don't have the ability to use sophisticated gizmos like fMRI devices.

Ultimately, I'm trying to do something a lot more pragmatic than what these guys are doing; my goal is to program an Arduino to run a sex toy based on the user's state of mind and level of arousal. Still working on the project, but it's turning out to be a bit of a pickle to read arousal level from surface electrodes.

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No worries mate

Even if you had access to fMRI equipment during development, it wouldn't do any good unless you're also planning to manufacture an Arduino MRI shield.

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Go

Arduino MRI shield

Now THAT'S a project!

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Anonymous Coward

Really...

Looks like they faked it!

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Paris Hilton

Bonkers!

As are we all really. I'd like to be the first to point this research in the direction of the Ig Nobel committee.

to Paris, and all her hemispheres.

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Paris Hilton

So what does a woman's brain look like when she is faking it??

Because I....um.....wouldn't know!! Honest!!

Paris, because she's probably faked it more times than most women have had any sex!!

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Anonymous Coward

You are too late for this one

Reg you should be ashamed of yourself. The Mash beat you to it:

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/science-%26-technology/female-orgasm-far-too-complicated,-say-men-201111154542/

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Gimp

Bugger...

...no sound on the video!

Purely to get the relationship between activity and result of course.

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Boffin

Of course, there's the issue of all their participants being the type of women who can manage to have an orgasm in an MRI machine while being closely watched by a squadron of (likely male) scientists, or, at very least, a female technician. I've been in one of those things (an MRI, not a female technician), and while it was interesting, there was definitely no aura of bow-chicka-wow-wow about. Perhaps they filled the lab with little floating candles, unreasonably thick folded towels, and flowers?

I mean, as a man, being inside a close-fitting tube is really the name of the game, but this is really not the embodiment I'd seek out. And I'm really not sure that one male tech would be any better than a bunch of female scientists. For that matter, I'm not sure whether it would be better or worse if they were very attractive...

...which brings up another point: How many of the subjects had boyfriends / husbands? How do you go about introducing it?

W: So, I'm going to one of those science study things...

M: A what study-things?

W: You know, the science studies, like where they put you in a room with three people and ask weird questions, or they have you breathe into a tube to measure something or whatever.

M: Oh, cool. What's yours?

W: I'm going to lie in a tube and masturbate 'til I come.

[ Prolonged silence ]

W: ... I get paid like fifty bucks...

[ Prolonged silence ]

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@David W.

1. neuroscience is biological science and therefore its more likely to be staffed by a squadron of females. It isn't comp sci, or physics.

2. In these kinds of exploratory works, its likely the participant *is* the scientist. Much less paperwork and no need to pay the participant.

I expect the post climax prefrontal excitation to be be the investigator analysing her results.

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Coat

I'm sure these were volunteers from the student body who'd have been doing the same thing in their close fitting dorm rooms if they hadn't been recruited for the study

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Happy

DIY or Assisted Orgasm?

I'm sure the scan would be different.

Also, other noise factors would be the amount of laundry waiting to be ironed, what outstanding housework, what time the kids need picking up etc...

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Thumb Up

"bow-chicka-wow-wow" made me laugh quite er ... hard.

Thumbs up indee... oh god everything's an innuendo.

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Anonymous Coward

Another late night in the lab, darling?

You always seem too tired for sex

You're not having an affair are you?

You're not by any chance masturbating in an MRI scanner are you

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Happy

A fettish...

...for big expensive machines may help.

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WTF?

Holy what!?

Girl brings herself to fruition while in an active MRI scanner (and I guess strapped in so head noggin would stay still) with an audience watching every spark in her brain?

Are you sure you weren't watching some late night gameshow on 4, E4, More4 or one of those channels?

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Anonymous Coward

Yeah, I asked my wife essentially that question regarding the potential for in-MRI-fun, and she was, shall we say, incredulous. As in, "No fuckin' way!".

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Unhappy

I feel sorry.....

for the poor ladies involved. This could have serious ramifications for them. They may now only be able to achieve erm satisfaction when embraced by a huge electro magnetic field. If those machines are as noisey as they appear on telly the neighbours will definatley be banging on the wall.

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Thumb Up

The one I was in a few years ago was pretty noisy and I only had my feet in it. Ironically it could be described as 'a series of loud bangs getting faster and faster before a sudden silence'.

Unfortunately I only experienced that literally rather than euphemistically :)

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Gimp

Ah, yes.

The comments above have just given me a thought. Well, several, actually, but one pertinent one.

I'm guessing that the subject would have been using quite a lot of internal fantasising in order to get the job done. Surely that will bias the fMRI results quite markedly?

GJC

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Anonymous Coward

maybe not...

The fantasising would happen in the lead up to the orgasm. When the orgasm starts these ladies would be likely just be "lost in the moment". I'm sure staff also captured their "at rest" MRI profiles by asking them not to think about anything in particular for a while.

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The Onion

This article reminds me of an article in The Onion entitled, 'Female Orgasm discovered' complete with a photo of staid doctors in white lab coats.

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You guys need to get out more

I know plenty girls who would happily wank themselves off in an MRI. Well, one anyway. *goes misty-eyed*

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TRT
Silver badge

The MRI machine I used to use...

had Siemen on it.

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Trollface

Coming next on .xxx

www.jerkingforscience.xxx and its beautiful solo girls will soon be coming . . . online.

Sorry, someone had to do it.

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Anonymous Coward

Yes science, that's it...

..if you could just pop off you clothes and get yourself off over there, me and my mates, sorry collegues will have a good look, I mean study or your body...mind, MIND!

I must try it sometime....

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Holmes

Flawed conclusions

Actually all that brain activity during orgasm can be attributed to women planning all the things they're going to do once they've satisfied their bloke. There's an entire region of the female brain dedicated to shoes, for example, and another for handbags.

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Headmaster

Oh! Oh! I'm orgasming!

Is orgasm a verb?

I didn't think it was but... whatever, it is much /easier/ to conjugate "come"

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Go

wow

"persuaded female volunteers to achieve orgasm while in the confines of an MRI scanner"

Ive been in an MRI scanner. It is not exactly "pleasant". There is shit weird noise going on, quite claustrophobic and not really conducive to "getting it on". I suppose the report will show where the perverted centres of the brain are if you are into getting it on in noisy close fitting environments (with onlookers).

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Anonymous Coward

Is it possible?

When I had an MRI (6 months ago) I was handed a pair of earplugs as the machine generated LOADS of very loud noise (thump thump, etc...). I don't think I could get it off in an environment like that.

Although it could change if my wife was aiding in the research :-)

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Anonymous Coward

The female orgasm *again* ?

The world seems fixated on the female orgasm. The male orgasm seems to be of no interest at all. Why? They're both easy to achieve (oh yes) and I expect the brain does the same gymnastics. Every sex education article seems to be about how to bring about the supposedly magical and elusive female orgasm, when it can be simply a case of licking your finger and buffing the nug.

This seems to reflect a trend in popular medical science: women this, women that. Men? Well, they're just men and therefore unimportant and/or expendable.

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TRT
Silver badge

Because...

You'd need a different brain scanner; in fact, one for pelvic examinations.

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Happy

The male orgasm is a myth

Guys only pretend. For bragging rights down the pub.

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Devil

@Guys only pretend

Yep, women may be able to fake an orgasm, but only men can fake an entire relationship!

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Bit early to make the news, surely?

"The full study has not yet been peer-reviewed or published, but the team hope to do so as soon as possible."

This is an interesting article sure, but I am wondering how the subject managed to make the news prior to either of these basic steps in the scientific method being completed

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Anonymous Coward

entirely the point to make the news

the intention being to exploit the media to bring the research to wider attention. and therefore gain themselves extra credit, funding etc. No researcher following a strictly purist approach would report before they had the answers.

This way they get the "glory" whether the results show a strong correlation or that its just random.

Not seeking to denigrate their work (I could mention the millions starving in Africa, etc etc if I wanted to do that) but that this seems to be the way the system works now.

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Anonymous Coward

Where's Duran Duran when you need him?

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Anonymous Coward

Couldn't decide if your reference was to the scientist and his Orgasmatron or to the band and their "Girls on Film." Either way, thumbs up!

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>> the team then monitored activity in the prefrontal cortex, which is responsible for planning and abstract thought. Previous similar research on women found little evidence of brain activity here during orgasm,

....Or any other time.

There fixed it for ya.

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JDX
Gold badge

"He also noted that females are much more resistant to pain during climax."

So they got women to rub themselves off in a MRI scanner, then slapped them when they came, and videod the whole thing?

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Happy

That was hot

Best tagline ever

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