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back to article Mozambique menaced by flesh-eating bananas

Banana sales in Mozambican capital Maputo have taken a serious hit as a result of email and text message warnings of the dire consequences of contact with killer plantains. In response to a hoax alert that bananas imported from KwaZulu-Natal province in neighbouring South Africa were carrying the necrotizing fasciitis bacterium …

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Facepalm

Bananas

is good for you.

Any phallic jokes?

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Alert

As the Daily Mail once put it

"There are not many spiders found on bananas that bite."

Now we know why.

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Bronze badge

There are bananas that bite?

See title.

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Coat

I didn' t know that bananas bite!

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Paris Hilton

Obligatory phallic reference

You don’t normally find spiders in bunches of bananas and I’d think the reason is because bananas are transported in a unripened state and are ripened by exposing then to xylene gas, and considering spiders have such poor respiratory systems, probably kills them.

And now the real reason for making a post

Paris, ‘cos she likes to eat bananas . . . . . . . . . . oh hang on, that wasn’t a banana, was it?

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Anonymous Coward

So...

The whole country's gone bananas, then?

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Anonymous Coward

The beauty of gullibility

Why don't we ever use it for a good cause? For instance, we could eradicate ivory poaching with an email stating that there was a growing wave of butt raping by horny bullet proof pachyderms, supported by some scientific sounding latin terms such as Elephantis Bangingyouranus or something.

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Devil

"You're not here for the hunting, are you."

*snrk*

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HMB

If I'm an ivory poacher, then it's my living, without it I'm lost. If I want a banana and hear about that, well it's not hard to eat other fruit instead.

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Maybe...

I should spread a rumor that looking at my bank account # and SSN can cause something similar...

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Gold badge

Depressingly familiar

The only real difference between this idiotic scare story and the ones I usually read is that this one appears to be happening abroad.

However, perhaps now that it has arrived at El Reg, the UK tabloids will pick up the wrong end of the stick and by next week bananas will be tuppence a ton in my local supermarkets. That would be nice. I like bananas.

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Paris Hilton

Ah!

Just goes to show how easy it is to spread the ignorance and deliberate misinformation "Fred Singer Style" around and have it propagated even further by stupid mononeurons, all of whom are far too lazy to think for themselves!

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Silver badge

Anybody remember the film "Danger Island"?

(see subject)

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now, follow the money

find out whose business is currently profitting from this misinformation, and you'll find the source of the "prank".

Information is a weapon. Wield responsibly.

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Coat

I for one

anticipate the overthrow of our simian overlords by curvy, yellow, flesh-eating liberators. It will make a great documentary - "Fall of the Planet of the Apes!"

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Mushroom

more seriously

If that email was sent by a foreign government, it probably is now an act of war.

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Headmaster

"Hoax Alert"

Shouldn't the headline be

Mozambique NOT menaced by flesh-eating bananas

Added to which, that would make it the kind of news that we all want to hear!

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Mushroom

not so much rise of the machines as rise of the plants

This is Darwins nightmare. Bananas are moving into Triffid territory.

First they learnt to walk, now they're biting back.

I'm buying myself a flamethrower and moving to the isle of wight

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