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back to article James Bond savages the Kardashians

James Bond thesp Daniel Craig has savaged the highly talented and decorative Kardashian clan, branding the celebutard minx pack "fu*king idiots". daniel_craig 'Stay away from my fu*king wedding' While giving forth on the matter of privacy in an interview for GQ Magazine, Craig began: "It's not about being afraid to be public …

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H E R O

That is all.

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Holmes

He forgot...

To comment on how talented the Kardashians are. NOT!

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Devil

Nope there's more!

Oh sure, you're el Reg, a Brit rag. So of course you think of Daniel Craig only in terms of James Bond.

(Ok, so we can have a thread about DC vs SC as to who was the better Bond.)

But there's more to DC than Bond.

Sorry but I'm really looking forward to his upcoming film, the remake of The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo'.

No offense to Bond fans, (I'm one too), but there's more to this man than just Bond.

And yeah, he's a fscking class act too!

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It'll have to be darned good...

The originals of the Millenium Trilogy are very well done and very gritty.

I don't think that he has enough stomach to play "Kalle F*cking Blomqvist". The German language audio books were also excellent. I hope they don't ruin the remake.

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Erm, Roger Moore thankyouverymuch.

Cold, calculating, dry and highly womanising, he did the role perfectly.

SC looks too friendly, and is a bit too Scottish for the role. Evident by how many Moore films there were, compared to how many Connery.

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Pint

Agreed!!

I especially loved the down to earth: "I'm not judging it – well, I am obviously."

ROFLMAO

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They're remaking The Girl with a Dragon Tattoo already? I didn't think it had been out that long...

As to the best bond... best not start that argument :p It'll be worse than who is the best Doctor...

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This post has been deleted by its author

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It really annoys me that American/British audiences always want remakes of good foreign films.

"Let Me In" (or whatever it called) was a cinematic abomination in that it was almost a scene-for-scene remake.

If people are really so scared of subtitles, dub the damned thing! The original is an amazing piece of work that didn't deserve to be sidelined like that.

At least The Ring added it's own twist, even if its idea of suspense was a hammer in your eye.

/need beer

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Unhappy

@Ian

Do not dub either. Look how awful Trollhunter became after they dubbed that.

Also, do you refer to "Let the Right One In"? I did not realise they Hollywood'ed that one.

It is true though, all these foreign films I know and love (see: The Experiment, an awesome German movie mimicking the Stanford Prison experiment) are being remade in Hollywood. It is such a shame, because they often do not live up to the original, and all this because people are unwilling to read subs.

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It's not audiences that want English language versions...

The studios must produce 'x' number of films a year or stand idle, losing money. They will remake, rehash, sequelize, prequelize, extend and ultimately destroy any story just to get 'product' in front of the public. Oh yes, and they don't like taking chances. So of course anything that looks like a safe bet will be made.

Don't confuse what the public want with what the public get.

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Anonymous Coward

Personally, I saw the original after seeing the remake, as I'd enjoyed the remake.

The original though... was (to me) like watching paint dry. Personally found it boring as hell, and consider the remake to be the (significantly) better of the two. :)

(it may be an aberration though... many remakes do suck)

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fair play to him....

i like what he said. seems fair enough!

lucky git - rachel weisz is a cutey! :)

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Anonymous Coward

fair play to her

the lucky bitch, he's a cutie!

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Happy

Love it

Not only DC's comments, but the descriptive phrase of "the highly talented and decorative Kardashian clan"

On a side-note, didn't realise he was with Rachel Weisz. Lucky barsteward. I'm sure there are many who think lucky bee-hatch on her behalf too. And those that think neither.

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Happy

"And those that think neither."

or both

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Anonymous Coward

Who/What are the "Kardashian clan"

I've been asleep for a while.... Who are these people? The last Kardashian clan I heard of were on StarTrek.

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South Park

They got killed in South Park, thats all I know about them. I presume they are some sort of clan of britney spears people or something.

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Devil

OK i'll bite

Probably a joke, since you'd have to live under a rock to not see them on the daily news in the U.S., but here goes:

Kardashian Senior (the genetic father of the clan) was an accomplished trial lawyer, who's main claim to any fame was being one of the three lawyers who (successfully) defended OJ Simpson from a murder charge (of Nicole Brown Simpson, even though retarded monkeys could have confirmed that he did indeed kill her).

Ms. Kardashian (the mother) divorced her lawyer husband (but not his money) some long time ago, and is now married/hooked up with Bruce Jenner (a pretty famous US Olympic Gold Medalist)

Kim Kardashian (oldest daughter?) was briefly friends with (or at least photographed hanging out with) Paris Hilton (whom released a sex tape) and Kim (who does have a big luscious ass) proceeded to let her boyfriend at the time (failed rapper Ray Jay) film her in a pretty explicit sex tape. (The reason I say living under a rock, because about any hetro male on the internet has seen or downloaded that video or clips of it by now)

The lawyer father has sinced passed away... (though I think it was after his daughter disgraced his family name with said tape)

It was the leaked sex tape (combined with small degree the notoriety of the father and step father) that allowed the family to get their own reality TV show on the E network called "Keeping up with the Kardashians" (which like a war seems like it has gone on forever with unending casualties... but probably more like 4 years).

Kim's younger sisters Courtney (cuter than Kim really) and Chole (built like and tends to date NBA players) also got their own spin off show (called something like "two whores move to Miami"

Both have dated more than their fair share of pro-athletes (mostly US NBA players) Here they are trying to build out their empire by selling overpriced shit at a stupid store they started.

Their younger brother Rob, was recently runner-up to the winner (A US war Vet) on the TV show "Dancing with the stars" (or their family members). (BTW that's the winner of DWTS that was the war vet, not Rob, whom probably never worked a honest day in life)

There are also two even younger girls, whom I believe Bruce Jenner is the genetic father to.

(As the show progresses on you can just see what horrible drug addicted stripper lives they are most likely in store for)

That about sums it up

Short version: Kim Kardashian made a porno with her then boyfriend and her publicist mom leveraged the debacle into a media whore-dom career for the whole family.

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Anonymous Coward

Wow Rob!

If I were king of Wikipedia that would be their article. No edits allowed!

:D

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Holmes

@Rob Dobs - Will You Accept a Reverse Charge Call From Under a Rock?

I'm indebted to you for a comprehensive round-up of what sounds like a pretty ghastly troupe of people - I'm so glad I've genuinely never heard of them before (although the OJ lawyer reference rings a vague bell, I suppose) and hope to never again, although I fear I will be seeing their names all the time now. That's the way it goes.

Must dash - off to browse the latest copy of The Chap magazine now. Fascinating article on how to keep the perfect crease in the trouser leg while travelling on 'public transport'.

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Happy

Thank you

Out of that very informative post, I have heard of OJ Simpson (the comedy actor), Bruce Jenner (plastic surgery enthusiast) and Paris (wonky-eyed slag). I have heard the name Kardashian bandied about, but not known until now who the hell they were. Maybe I am using the internets wrong, or maybe I am just too old.

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IT Angle

Who/What is the "U.S."?

"Probably a joke, since you'd have to live under a rock to not see them on the daily news in the U.S."

Sorry mate, but my telly aerial's reception doesn't quite reach all the way across the Atlantic.

Not that I'd watch US news, or ANY news, anyway, even if it did. El Reg serves pretty much the only type of news that holds the slightest interest for me. In fact about the only thing I use my telly for these days is playing console games and watching DivX down..., erm, legally-purchased DVDs.

I'm with the bloke who thought Kardashians were Star Trek characters. Seriously.

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These ones

are less ambitious - they've only taken over one planet. Time to join the Marquis.

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Devil

Zack, you got that the wrong way round.

It should be "OJ Simpson (plastic surgery enthusiast), Bruce Jenner (the comedy actor)"

And by "plastic surgery enthusiast" I mean "ex-wife decapitator". That is all he should ever get to be remembered for.

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Paris Hilton

Looks like we're fortunate on this side of the atlantic because all I knew about them was they had a tv show. Thanks for educating those of us who live under rocks.

Paris, because she was mentioned, that is all.

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Anonymous Coward

Excellent Summary

Excellent summary.

Now I've recently started watching a UK soap called "Coronation Street". I missed the beginning, can you summerise the plot so far?

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Cardassians

I've heard of the name Kardashian being branded about but didn't know the story.

Everytime I heard the name I keep thinking of Cardassians.

Thanks Rob for telling us the story.

Now we know Kim made a porn tape, got onto the internet and now their mother is pimping them out for "reality" T.V.

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@Rob Dobbs

You sir, are a god amongst commentards.

I look forward to the upvotes on your post passing my personal best as it most definitely deserves it.

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Did anyone else hear

the theme tune to "Soap"[1] playing, while reading that ? I was expecting it to finish with "Confused ? You will be after this weeks episode ...."

[1]anyone under 40, ask your parents.

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Boffin

Coronation Street summary

Here's the 7,749 episode summary:

Waaaaah, wa, wa, wa-wa-waaaah,

Waaaaah, wa, wa, wa-wa-waaaah,

Waaaah, wa, wa, waaaah,

Wah, wa-waaaah,

Wah, wa-wa-waaaah.

Lass: Aye-up chuck, fancy a paaaint?

Bloke: Nay lass, a've t'put me 'air in cerlers b'fore footy staats.

Lass: Wotcha doin' wi' cerlers in yer 'air, ye daft lump?

Bloke: It's them blody 'ooligans again, the' nicked me crimpers.

Lass: Ah raight! Ah thou't ye was lookin' a bit limp.

Etc.

Waaaaah, wa, wa, wa-wa-waaaah.

Waaaaah, wa, wa, wa-wa-waaaah.

Waaaah, wa, wa, waaaah.

Wah, wa-waaaah.

Wah, wa-wa-waaaah.

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Coffee/keyboard

I approve...

...of this post.

(btw, you owe me a new keyboard sir).

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>>"(The reason I say living under a rock, because about any hetro male on the internet has seen or downloaded that video or clips of it by now)"

Well, I'd bet that the vast majority of the straight males I know wouldn't have watched or downloaded the clip.

I'd guess that the general feeling would be that 'accidentally released self-made porn' from would-be celebrities is likely to be even less genuinely acted than stereotyped "Hi madam I'm your plumber/Whoops all my clothes have fallen off" stuff.

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but shes is hot

acted or not, shes a pretty hot tart, and that's also I guess is the reason for a lot of their fame.

I am ashamed to admit that I have seen several episodes of said show, and thus am partly responsible for their fame in some small way, hence the ability to summarize..

I was really hoping for some corrections.... surely I got something wrong?....

and meant no offense by "under a rock" note I said "if you live in US" they quite literally can be on the evening news here almost every night (thankfully not a world wide pandemic).

Oh and for JimmyPage (commenter above not the Guitarist - though he's welcome to read as well)

Kim recently married another NBA (thats basketball) star (or pro player anyways), and they had a huge multi-hour TV special just for the event.

They received millions of dollars in wedding gifts.....

Then unexpectedly (at least to those that gave said gifts) they divorced after only being married for 2 months.

And I forgot to mention that Courtney had a baby with the most pretentious spoiled arse on either side of the Atlantic who drinks too much and gets violent.

"Confused ? You won't be after this weeks episode ...."

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Anonymous Coward

Epic summation

I read the whole bit and now I feel like it was even too much information. I want to know less and hope to forget it all even. If only that were possible : /

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Craig has gone up in my estimation, fair play to him.

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Windows

Kardashians

I'm not really sure who the Kardashians are. They're in the news a lot but I've no idea why.

007's spot on though (as far as celebutard culture goes in general) and kudos for turning down the wedding photo money.

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Anonymous Coward

RE: Kardashians

I've seen Kim Kardashian before - someone sent me a picture of her flaunting her shaven haven from Playboy magazine....

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Paris Hilton

Kardashians...

They're kind of like Paris Hilton... famous for being famous, or is that notorious. They might have some small amount of talent, but that's not what keeps them in the news... Kim is the latest one to garner headlines, with a million dollar wedding, followed by her filing for divorce 72 days later.

Paris, because they're two or three or four of a kind.

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Paris Hilton

Never seen any show with them really in it.

But if the skits they do on Saturday Night Live about them is any indication, they are annoying sounding ignorant wastes of space and the "Kim" one is their leader. Oh, and one or all have rather large derrières.

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Just as James Bond would have said.

Danial Craig as James Bond forever. I think that's exactly what the fictional character would have said. A Hollywood star with some brains for a change. Daniel Craig is the first Hollywood star I can think of to state the bleeding obvious. Not only does he have the right view, but in another first, a Hollywood star lives by his own mantra. Can't ask for more.

As for Rachel Weisz................do at a pinch, but I can think of better. Always thought she was missing some flesh in one or two areas.

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Anonymous Coward

Rachel Weisz

"at a pinch, but I can think of better"

'sfunny. She said the same about you ;)

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Er..

Fuck me.

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Paris Hilton

Legend

Tell it like it is :D

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Sir

Craig Charles FTW....what? oh..umm..

Seriously, fair play to the guy. I'd rather be rich than famous any day, but then I think I'm a f*cking Alien.

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Trollface

"the highly talented and decorative Kardashian clan"

HAHAHA.. Talent.. seriously... that clan has no talent other than being self-gratifying media whores... That's just my opinion of course!

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Be fair!

Self publicity and attracting money count as talents, surely?

I wouldn't mind being a bit better at the latter myself.

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MJI
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Who are the Karwhatevers?

Hear them mentioned like they are supposed to be well known.

I have no idea.

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Not sure myself, but judging by the occasional flick through a freebie London newspaper that's scattered across the train every morning, they appear to be a bunch of female siblings who f*ck other "highly talented" celebs.

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WTF?

I just had to google them myself.

I am dissapointed. I had hoped they would turn out to be Lizard people from the Alpha quadrant.

It turned out they are rich tosspots. Mr Bond has called Tosspots tosspots, so all power to him, but apart from that /Yawn/.

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