Jarmageddon: Marmite spill sparks biohazard threat
A flood of yeast extract has blocked the M1 motorway in South Yorkshire after a truck containing the Marmite ingredient crashed and spilled its load. The road is still closed this morning, according to the latest traffic information, as cleanup workers scoop 23.2 tonnes of the gloopy brown stuff off the road surface. South …
This topic is closed for new posts.
Is it just me or....
Do we really have a story here about people being stuck on the "marmite motorway". I know it's a euphemism, but still ;-)
Marmite....You either love it or hate it!
Mine's the one with the jar in the pocket.
I think Radio 2 were dancing around that one this morning.
They did manage "A spot of bovril 'ere mate" and a request to confirm it was on the "yeastbound carriageway" though.
It's all a conspiracy
MarM1te.
Do I need to spell out the connection?
Are they going to send in the military?
I like the image of soldiers covered in marmite.
Hmm
Now all we need is for a couple more lorries to crash on the site... preferably one from Lurpack and one from Hovis... and then maybe for them to catch light and toast the area?
Needs a Wednesdaydale lorry rather than a Lurpak one in my opinion.
Causing the marmite love/hate balance to tip in the direction of hate, I suppose.
Just needs a truck load of toast.
Yeast extract?
Is there a rising sense of panic in the area?
There, fixed it for you
More like a rising count of picnics in the area.
Indescribable! Indestructible! Great on cheese sandwiches!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MlsBem2JOl0
Filmed up the Coromandel (no, thats not a euphemism) in New Zealand.
I would have called it *toxic* waste
Marmite, Promite, Vegemite and other similar "black goop" spreads have got to be the foulest-tasting concoctions known to mankind. If I'd seen a spill of that gunk like that, I'd have recommended isolating the spill zone and evacuating the surrounding 5 kilometres!
> If I'd seen a spill of that gunk like that, I'd have recommended isolating the spill zone and
> evacuating the surrounding 5 kilometres!
And nuke the site from orbit, it's the only way to be sure.
Sorry, had to be done...
Re: "...evacuating the surrounding 5 kilometres"
...Actually, I suspect that 20+ tons of spilled Marmite rather looked like the surrounding 5 kilometers had ALREADY evacuated...
IT Angle?
Maybe the story has a very thin chance of being innuendo bait, but really, a traffic accident report on El Reg?
Waste?
"The dumped yeast extract was described as "waste" by the BBC, so is highly unlikely to now end up in Marmite jars."
No doubt the plods told them it was waste because they don't want thousands of people turning up with slices of toast.
What no playmobil re-enactment?
Shame on you reg, Playmobil Marmite motorway (thanks for that @phlashbios) coverage would surely be called for?
Where is the "Where is the Playmobil?" icon?
"...has blocked the M1 motorway..."
Oh dear. Let's hope it doesn't spread....
It's ok
Currently it's only on the yeast bound carriageway.
Surely...
"...The dumped yeast extract was described as "waste" by the BBC, so is highly unlikely to now end up in Marmite jars..."
...this could only improve the taste and unquestioned life-enhancing properties of this wonder-sludge?
No evil bacterium could live for long amongst the vitamin-packed nutrition of this prince of comestibles....
Beer, because that's where it comes from...
Or we could just drive all the marmite lovers up there
And let them lick it off the road.
Best place for Marmite lovers..... as far away from me as possible. Yeck!
"A flood of yeast extract has blocked the M1 motorway in South Yorkshire" Nothing to do with Marmite, that's just the thrush from the nearby 'ladies' of Barnsley...
Bonus
Scratch out one lorry load of foul tar of toast and one less caravan into the bargain! Huzzah!
This is no accident
It's an experimental grit substitute...
My family always accuse me of spreading it thick enough to put on the roads anyway...
Bacteria?
I've never seen anything grow on Marmite, ever...
Unlike any other food sources/edible things such as bread, cheese (ok it's a given), salad items, fruit, etc.
Is the Marmite bacteria brown like Marmite? Or is it invisible?
Its the salt content perhaps
That's why you don't see mouldy Marmite
As I read it,
This is the waste yeast from brewing used to make Marmite. Marmaite is made by denaturing the yeast by adding salt and heating - bacteria are unlikely to live in the result due to the osmotic pressure from the salt content, but the raw material - yeast extract - is highly nutritious to bacteria. This, presumably, is one of the reasons it has to be processed to make Marmite - raw yeast extract would be liable to give you quite a gippy stomach once your gut bacteria get stuck in.
Strangely ...
I'm gnawing on a bit of Marmite-smeared sourdough toast over my second cup of coffee as I type. Lovely stuff :-)
Help is on its way
A lorry load of Canesten is on route to clear up the problem.
Call me a nit picker...
...but the M1 runs North-South. I therefore declare all yeastbound carriageway jokes null and void.
Go on - call me a nit picker!
Re: Go on - call me a nit picker!
"...but the M1 runs North-South. I therefore declare all yeastbound carriageway jokes null and void."
Couldn't resist this one. The BBC page linked from the article states that both carriageways were closed between junctions 32 and 33. It just so happens that that stretch of the M1 runs East-West.
Speaking of nit-picking...
Actually, there *is* an East-West section of the M1 - to the north-east(ish) of Sheffield. Junction 33 to the M18!
Yeastbound Carriageway
That was on "Today" this morning, so no marks for originality.
fanny batter
Gives me thrush.. glad I'm not driving near there.
Brewers yeast (cerevisiae) != the kind that infects people's naughty bits (candida)
They are both called yeast, in much the same way that haddock and sharks are both called fish.
Recent calculations show that
At 4 grammes Marmite per serving and 30 grammes per piece of toast we will need 150 tonnes of toast to clear the mess up.
Plus, at 5 soldiers per slice and 8 dips per soldier, 3.125 million soft boiled eggs.
That's a lorra, lorra breakfasts.
Standard Units Please...
Was it enough Marmite to fill an olympic sized swimming pool?
This topic is closed for new posts.
