Feeds

back to article Bloke claims ex swiped his sperm to make twins

A Texas man claims his ex-girlfriend stole his sperm to inseminate herself three months after they broke up. Joe Pressil, a 36-year-old telecoms manager, is suing Advanced Fertility Center and Omni-Med Laboratories in Houston, saying they used his misappropriated man oysters to produce a brace of bouncing babies without his …

COMMENTS

This topic is closed for new posts.

Page:

Gold badge

"A lawyer for the clinic [...] maintained that the clinic had signed consent forms from Pressil"

That's going to be a very short court case then.

3
0
Boffin

Only if ...

A hand writing expert confirms that it actually is his signature on the form.

Wouldn't be the first time someone forged a signature on some legal document to get what they want.

3
0
Anonymous Coward

DNA

in this day and age a signature should be treated as suspicious unless accompanied by a few skin cells or DNA of it's alleged owner.

1
0
Facepalm

They do have the DNA of the guy. That's what it's about!

2
0
Anonymous Coward

@Doh!cius

You appear to be suggesting that the form was handed in with the guy's Semen next to his signature?

I sure wouldn't want a job in your local bank.

0
0
Alien

Clearly if you are referring to this guy handling bank notes/coinage which could be smeared with DNA output from his nether regions then I think you would have to take into consideration that shaking hands with anyone, or getting change for your cup of tea, would offer the transfer of chemical materials which you hadn't intended.

I don't bother trying to count the number of blokes who use the loo and don't bother washing hands afterwards, but it seems to be a disease that is very widespread. In fact even washing hands can lead to chemical transfer due to taps being turned on and off - if only loo's had those elbow-operated taps used in hospital surgeries!

I went into the company's loo a while back to find a guy using the urinal whilst having a conversation with his customer on his mobile phone. I assume he wasn't using a camera phone....

0
0
FAIL

If the "consent form" was not signed in the presence of clinic staff, and ID presented at the time of signing, they would be hard-pressed to prove beyond a reasonable doubt that it was his signature. That is, unless he signed the form in front of a Notary Public. A Notary in most states must keep a journal (recommended for notaries in ALL states where not required by law) of the notary signings he or she performs, and the signer must provide government issued identification. Only certain government issued identification is acceptable, usually drivers' licenses (with photo and description), US or other passports, etc.

Because of the potential ramifications, and potential for abuse by a jilted lover, if the clinic's consent form did not require notarization, they might be in trouble.

Somebody failed here, the question is who?

2
0
Alert

Not nessessarily a short court case, mate.

After all, if he's telling the truth about his ex having stolen his sperm, and about his religious objection to IVF (probably just a smoke-screen to get a jury on his side, but I imagine he objects to it under these circumstances,) then there exists a chance that she had the consent forms forged.

After all, if men don't want to go to the clinic to produce their baby batter on demand, they probably wouldn't want to go there in person to sign forms, so the clinic probably handed out the papers to the girl to take home to him to sign.

So there's a good probability that this is going to wind up with an allegation of forgery as well as the theft of sperm and all of that... This one oughta be good.

2
0
Rob
Bronze badge
WTF?

?

You just couldn't make this shit up could you, nutters seem to be evolving faster than average humans as they are churning out a new breed a frightening rates nowadays.

0
1
Silver badge

"But he maintained that the clinic had signed consent forms from Pressil, and called the lawsuit disingenuous and suspect."

Then present them. If they are signed with "Michael Mouse", start lubing up for a fucking.

2
0

"But he maintained that the clinic had signed consent forms from Pressil, and called the lawsuit disingenuous and suspect."

if you read the other article it expands on this...

"He also said the clinic has signed consent forms and information sheets from the father.

Sheena said he couldn't say for certain whether the father had ever actually been to the clinic and it's possible that the forms could have been fabricated by the mother.

"When patients provide information like [the ex-girlfriend], we rely on truthful and accurate information," Sheena said. "

""We do know that we do have his blood work, we do know that his insurance was billed for it, and we do know that his credit card was used to pay for [some of] the visits," Sheena said.

Pressil admitted he allowed his then-girlfriend to sign onto his health insurance as 'domestic partners' when they were dating, but he said he thought his insurance was being billed for treatment of the fibroid condition."

This is going to get messy...

7
0
Silver badge

"This is going to get messy..."

Not nearly as messy as the lead-up to it was, if he's telling the truth!

0
0

didn't think anything of it ?

I've known a few girls leap out of bed and run out of the room after sex, but they've never bothered to take the condom with them.

>Giggity giggity<

9
0
Silver badge

Sir

That would depend on their level of internal muscle control surely? </joke>

3
0
Gold badge
Stop

Seen this before with a seriously wacho b**** ahem lady, who took used condoms out of a bin, turned them inside-out and erm...

Perhaps we all need micro incinerators in our homes?

2
0
Bronze badge

More of those cases

are around.

1
0
TRT
Silver badge
Paris Hilton

Thank the Lord...

for nonoxynol-9.

Paris: Because she reads the packet and doesn't want to progenate. Which would be another reason to give thanks.

0
0
Silver badge
WTF?

Religious Beliefs?

Which religion outlaws IVF but permits sex outside of marriage and using condoms?

If this bloke has genuinely had his seed stolen, then I can understand his upset, but using some hokey religion as a legal argument undermines his case.

6
2
TRT
Silver badge
FAIL

The Pressiltarian Church, obviously.

2
0
Thumb Down

There's a problem when real life gets more batshit crazy than the latest fiction novels.

4
0
Pint

The latest fiction novels are nothing... there's a serious problem when real life gets more batshit crazy than the current crop of RepubliCON wanna-be Presidential candidates.

I need something stronger than beer... anybody got a bottle of brandy?

0
0
Bronze badge

"loss of enjoyment of life"

He's got kids, so he should win on this, at least.

4
2
Bronze badge
Thumb Down

@Lamont Cranston

Yours is not a view everyone shares

2
1
Meh

Nor is yours.

1
3
Bronze badge
Headmaster

@TimeWaster

Yes, I already acknowledged that by stating "not everyone".

And pointing out the blatantly obvious fact that not everybody likes kids gets a downvote? Come on, this is The Reg, not some namby-pamby coddly parenting forum. Kids are like users, only 24 hoiurs a day, 365 days a year. It's to be bloody well expected that kids are not seen as an enrichment to one's life by everyone.

2
0
Bronze badge
Happy

Leave off.

I love my kids, but retain my rights to moan about them to all and sundry.

2
0
TRT
Silver badge

Like I've always said...

the only *safe* sex is videotaping everything.

1
0
Pirate

Reg misses convoluted headline?

"Lone Star slag in shag-bag grab scam"

12
0
Anonymous Coward

Inb4 Liz Jones?

0
0

I nearly believed this, until I got to the part where he was trying to avoid paying child support.

0
8

"I nearly believed this, until I got to the part where he was trying to avoid paying child support."

true but wouldn't you naturally want to avoid paying for child support if this had happened?

6
0
FAIL

Why not?

*If* it's true (and I'm not necessarily saying it is at this point) that she stole his baby gravy then he shouldn't be required to pay crippling child support payments.

7
0
Anonymous Coward

sperm donors

do you think they should pay child support too?

2
0
Trollface

Why should any actions of the mother affect payments made (theoretically) on behalf of the child?

0
5
Anonymous Coward

@Decius

For the same reason that rape victims should be entitled to free abortions.

2
0

ha, 8 thumbs down, from people that obviously didn't quite grasp my point. I'm saying this child was fathered naturally, and the tall story was invented to avoid paying money. People lie to avoid things, makes sense to me. Occum's razor and all that.

0
0
Anonymous Coward

Come On.....!

really......

0
0

Assuming his story is true, (and whether these signed papers exist will probably be the clincher), it is a fine example of one of life's great truisms. One which cannot be taught, but which must be learned for onesself, through experience;

"Don't stick it in the crazy."

14
0
Facepalm

Don't stick it in the crazy?

NOW you tell me!

4
0
Silver badge
Joke

But shirly...

...that would rule out all heterosexual intercourse.

All women are crazy!

Joking of course... or am I?

0
0
Silver badge

In his position, I would demand custody of both children, and that SHE pay child support.

If he wants to abandon those kids, well he doesn't have a third leg to stand on...

1
4
Anonymous Coward

If he never wanted children in the first place (which his use of condoms suggests) and his ex did steal his sperm and have the IVF treatment without telling him then why should he be forced to take any responsibility for the children she's had using his sperm without his consent?

7
0
Meh

......

It's enough to make you spit......

:|

1
0
Thumb Up

ROFL!!!

"The whole episode has left Pressil "devastated" and "violated", and presumably somewhat drained, deflated and empty inside."

- this bit made my day

3
0
Anonymous Coward

Bitches

be crazy.

1
2
Devil

I believe him

Why you ask? Why do IVF if you just managed the Natural Fertilization method?

1
0
Anonymous Coward

The Clinic is in a Run Down Strip Mall so I was Not Surprised

I drive past the clinic every day on my way to my office and always wondered who in their right mind would use a fertility clinic in a run down strip mall.

I saw a report on this case on local news a week or two ago and thought ok the woman nust have been a bit coo coo in the first place to go to that clinic. But after the report I was open to the case going either way.

The relationship did not sound solid so I cant imagine the guy agreeing to be a lab father. Also, the procedure was done after he broke up with the lady . . .

Sounds crazy but I was not surprised after I realized it was the clinic I passed everyday. It would take a certain kinda personality to have this kind of medical procedure in this specific location.

2
0
WTF?

Sounds like a CSI:NY plotline lift...

0
0
Anonymous Coward

Always use protection

go to her place not yours

and

never tell them your real name

2
1
Anonymous Coward

My vote goes to the woman.

She certainly fulfills the Darwinian requirement of successfully adapting to the environment and I hope that her offspring prosper. One can only hope however, given the apparent gormlessness of her ex-partner.

But maybe she was the one with the brains and he was the pretty one.

0
3

Page:

This topic is closed for new posts.