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back to article Falklands, Cardiff lie beneath track of rogue Phobos-Grunt

The UK space agency has warned that Russia and Kazakhstan will be responsible for any damage resulting from the probe Phobos-Grunt plummeting to Earth, and outlined in detail those locations at risk: that is, most of the inhabited world apart from remote northern and southern regions. Space boffins from Roscosmos and the …

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ja

Phobos-Grunt to devastate Midlands ?

"However, it's not quite time to flee to Scotland, or indeed the Midlands, yet."

I beg to differ. My ancestors fled London, Yorkshire, Ireland and Dorset over the past two hundred years. There have always been good reasons to flee the UK.

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Anonymous Coward

That maybe so, but that still doesn't mean there's a good reason to flee to Scotland or the Midlands.

It would certainly take a greater enticement than less than winning the lottery jackpot odds of catching a bit of Russian satellite on the noggin to get me that far north of Watford.

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Anonymous Coward

"Debris will probably hit remote unpopulated area"

But what if it *doesn't* hit Cardiff?

A/C to avoid abuse by boyos...

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Mushroom

You should have 'manned up' and not posted anonymously and then been able to use the appropriate joke icon....

But you're probably a southern softie eh...?

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Theres still hope and a slim chance

Maybe it will hit Swindon.

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Mushroom

But...

How would we tell the difference?

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Joke

That will buff out...

...and cause £10m worth of improvements?

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Coat

What? And be seen dead in Swindon?

Even failed space probes have their pride......

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Alien

Could be disastrous

...if it crashes into the space/time rift in the middle of Cardiff! Calling the Doctor, calling the Doctor,...*wibble*

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You can't write stuff like this...

...really. "Phobos-Grunt"????

Go all Graustarkian on the Russian space program like that in a story submitted to any science fiction mag and if you're LUCKY you'll get a polite "Thank you for your interesting story which does not meet our present needs.. wait till we get bought out by Murdock before resubmitting" letter.

And the reason Phobos-Grunt's trajectory insertion burn didn't happen ought to be obvious. Bunch of cowboys playing at rocket scientist, with most of their budgets being siphoned off evenly between Vlad Putin and the mafiya.

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WTF?

UK Space Agency

Ha Ha Ha........Wait, whats that? You're not joking?

What the fuck do we need this for? To the best of my knowledge Britain has had zero lauch capability since the 70's.

What do they actually do, throw things at the sky and hope they don't come back maybe?

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Anonymous Coward

Outsource

That is all

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Anonymous Coward

What do they actually do?

See: http://www.ukspace.org/

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Anonymous Coward

It's a Small Department

of the UK Border Agency.

If it hits Heathrow, next Wednesday, it'll have to wait, because the immigration officials will be on strike.

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The reason we have a UK Space Agency is so the twenty members of the Parliamentary Space Committee can, at the taxpayer's expense, visit* the launch facilities of other nations usually situated in the tropics.

*Often during the winter months.

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Anonymous Coward

not only....

...is there a UK space agency... there's a Welsh space agency. they have rather swank offices in the bay area of swansea (well, they were swank when I went in them, before the space agency bought them)

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Pirate

Please don't flee to Scotland...

... we're a bit short of umbrellas at the moment.

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Trollface

Come, friendly probe, and fall on Slough

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Couldn't resist...

http://youtu.be/agWubOKCP4A

...

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Good call. If this thing devastated over Slough and caused material damage it would look like Slough had had a makeover.

Only problem is, I'm not that far away from Slough....

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7.5 metric tons of fuel

Pity, that would heat my mother's house for a few years. Well, it should at least make the folks over at East Anglia a bit happier... oh wait. Oh well, spilt milk and all that cocktails all 'round then.

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Coat

Safe at sea

I suppose it safe to say it will not hit any oil tanker or nuclear submarine, newer mind "pleasure" yachts or air planes above the sea. Could it be that looking for evidence is sort of "safer" at sea.

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Bah!

Clearly an attempt to carpet bomb all known locations of the Dr Who/Torchwood location shoots.

They must have a competing show to sell.

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Anonymous Coward

<Sarcasm

I would be so upset if it hit the triple threat that is, John Barroman. So upset />

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Anonymous Coward

"Russia and Kazakhstan will be responsible for any damage resulting from the probe Phobos-Grunt plummeting to Earth"

Good luck with that.

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Anonymous Coward

So, almost 2,000 gallons of fuel

There will be no problem seeing this one coming at ya ...

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Mushroom

Phobos-Grunt to hit Cardiff?

Isn't this one for the guys from Torchwood to sort out?

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Each of these falling satellites with a 'slim' chance of causing damage bring the bad one nearer.

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Eh, no

Classic misunderstanding of independent events' probabilities. Not winning the lottery one week doesn't improve your odds of winning them next week.

I hear the odds of a bomb being carried on a plane are a million to 1. I now carry one with me whenever I fly, as the odds of TWO being on a plane must be huge, so I'll be safe..

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Zot
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Mushroom

I can eat Cobalt 57...

...for breakfast!!! Come on!

Materials on board the craft:-

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=QJj15QGg4GE#!

.

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Anonymous Coward

"The UK space agency has warned that Russia and Kazakhstan will be responsible for any damage..."

Has someone told these guys that the cold war is over? Would they shoot out such a terse and rude warning if it were a NASA probe?

The UK Space Agency should welcome Russia as a fellow member of the Mars Failure Club instead of trying to humiliate them.

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Can't wait for Torchwood or the Doctor

We all know the Doctor aint back till xmas and it'll be a miracle if Torchwood returns so can't somebody shoot it down? Of course what would be really handy would be some sort of space shuttle to retrieve it.

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Flame

If it crashes, just try and find it...

... among the burnt-out transit vans, derelict buildings, shop fires and general urban decay.

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WTF?

"land in a controlled descent"

How will it do that, surely it can't *land* on Earth (presuming the gravity of Phobos would only require a low power descent)?

Or do you mean re-entry in a controlled descent to control the location of the crash site?

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Trollface

Thought Cardiff was only 33 degrees N

Oh that's Cardiff and not Cardiff-by-the Sea.... (Latter being 117d16m W, 33d01m N).

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