Dixons Retail has issued a grovelling apology after a demon fondleslab possessed with porn beamed smut directly into the eyes of children at a Currys store in Surrey. According to a report in the Surrey Comet, a distressed mother, who asked to remain nameless, said her three children were confronted with the filth on entering …
What a lovely use of that word. I suggest using a flannel if grot becomes a problem.
Grot, Grumble, Jazz - who cares what it's called. It's all good :D
Seriously though, English changes its usage all of the time. It's quite fluid, really.
Paris, because of the grot connection...
It blocks *shoppers*, yes, but does it block staff from viewing said pink parade? Pass the screen wipes...
that Steve Jobs told everyone that Android was the porn-pad, and that you didn't get Porn on Apple..
It seems that you believe everything Steve Jobs said? Are you sure you're not a closet fanboi?
"block shoppers from surfing dodgy..."
blacklist?!? Are they completely incompetent. If this thing was even allowed to access the internet proper, then it should be so on a whitelist.
What is THE FIRST THING any self respecting yoof is going to do on a computer in a shop once they notice it's connected to the net?
These days? Facebook.
Dunno about you, but my preferred choice is go to a command line and format c:
Dunno about you, but my preferred choice is go to a command line and format c:
Where are the demands for compensayshun?! Poor little Timmy's mind has been scarred! They clearly need a free iPhad each...
Preferably pre-loaded with a fuck-tonne of porn.
Re: Something's missing...
You're right - the Reg need some way of highlighting post such as yours that get so many things right.
Thumbs up for great post
+1 for cynical view of modern society
+5 for using correct industry standard for quantity
I was especially pleased that they used the metric fuck-tonne, as opposed to the imperial romp-ton our ancestors used to measure their grot...
(Grot. Exquisite. I'm having that...)
Correct industry standard for quantity
I beg to differ - he didn't say whether the fucktonne was Imperial or metric.
Yes he did. Tonne - metric, Ton - imperial.
I wonder which had more impact on the kids
The porn, or the mothers reaction ?
They had a good 70 seconds to enjoy the smut, as they were apparently 10 seconds ahead of their mother, and the dim-witted parent then apparently took "a minute" to realise what she was looking at.
Best 70 seconds of any youngster's life I reckon..
Must be kind of cool to have a mum that can slowmo click her fingers and take a whole 10 seconds to do so. Will there still be the clicking sound at the end?
Internet has porn shocker !
'The Most Disgusting Images'
What, like images of people doing what you did to obtain your three children, but enjoying it? Shocking! Disgusting! Ban this sick filth, etc. etc.
I didn't need to emulate 2 girls 1 cup to produce my kids.
Ah that would explain...
...why one of the kids likes pedegree chum and the other is hung like a....
Didn't stop her from ogling at it for a couple of minutes though...
Pics, or it didn't happen
Took a whole minute
She obvsiously didn't mind copping an eyefull if she was looking at it for a whole minute...surely once glance should of been sufficient to confirm the kind of content.
More than that. If it took her, an adult, a whole minute to work out what it was, the kids probably didn't even realise, so no harm was done.
Of course another option is that she wasn't watching what they did, and they are the ones that opened it, to see if it worked on the iPad as well as on the home PC.
Or another option still is that she is thick.
Mind aside from the lack of care shown by Dixons, I do wish the government would do far more to clean up the world wide web.
A beautiful example of trolling
And all you down-thumbers fell for it!
I'd have added a more Daily Mail reader-esque rant - perhaps a 'THINK OF THE CHILDREN!' line, or would that be over doing it?
Judging by the rest of the posts, this isn't a trolling attempt, but a serious post.
Unless your post is the troll, and I've fallen hook, line and sinker. Or maybe further still, *this* post is troll-bait. The meta has gone off the scale!
Too much freedom of everything, so close it down.
Can't have all those blogs displaying anti-government propaganda to the peeps can we ?
Well, we'll have to look into that. Maybe form a select committee to examine the issues then get around to blocking it....or making it illegal....or making people pay for it (at 20% vat)
I'm as humbled as I've been in a long time.
Adding more would have spoilt it.
Asbolutely, and then let them record our time on the toilet too...
...all that productive energy just wasted as waste! Terrible. I'm sure there's statistics on the cost to the country which relate to this sad state of affairs.
In store network?
Every DSG store I've ever been in doesn't have in-store wifi (or at least non of the devices are configured for it). However, I like nothing more than firing up my Android wifi hotspot and leaving the Comet homepage on whichever devices I tinker with.
Oh such japery...
did tesco with their display ipads.....fortunately I have an iphone....and then they (tesco) got an in-cafe wifi installed......
Ah so the kids have graduated from leaving the shops Spectrum running a for / next loop printing a smutty slogan
I wonder if the mum concerned realises just how easy it is for the kids to find that sort of thing on their home computer
You must be older than me.
In my day it was setting the Marquee screensaver to swears. If you were feeling extra mischievous you set a password too.
FOR / NEXT ?
20 GOTO 10 shurely?
Slap a semicolon on the end of line 10 for a bit of style.
What about when PC's were starting to be noticed by the high street retailer?
Alter AUTOEXEC.BAT to echo swears in a loop, reboot and stand nearby giggling whilst the salesdroid panicked :D
Oh, and it was always dixons we did this in as the salesdroids were usually occupied trying to sell people extended warranties...
10 PRINT "DAVE IS GAY!!!"
20 GOTO 10
edit autoexec.bat ,ctrl-a,ctrl-x
@ECHO BUGGER ME WITH A FISHFORK
Well-rehearsed in Belfast City Centre Dixon's in the early 90's :)
Dicks on Ipads..
Just goes to prove blacklists are never 100%
If you want to repeat this stunt.
Download some smut (an exercise for the reader, there is no shortage)
Set website on provider of your choosing (an exercise for the reader, there is no shortage)
Go into local DemonCurrysANOther store
point webbrowser at site
leave with a silly grin on face.
Your website might get added to the blacklist one day, until then you can upset people to your hearts desire.
The opposite approach is to have whitelists, but these stop the internet being an open and free place. Only what is acceptable to the powers that be can ever be added to the whitelist.
Moral of the story, don't let your kids run into a store in front of you and start playing with things you have no control over. I was only 10s behind when they ran into the road, won't stop them be hit by a truck.
Naked flesh? Think of the children!
- Disgusted, Tunbridge Wells
crying for days after the incident ...
You take young children to a store to buy them the latest shiney shiney and then walk out without one ... no wonder they were crying.
Re-read it, it says she was cryin. It took me a couple of re-reads to spot that, especially as it goes onto mention the younger one smurking at the very thought of it :-)
Yeah I had to do a double-take on that. According to the article she was left 'crying for days' whereas the younger kid thought it was funny. No comment on what the older teenage kid thought but I'm going to go out on a limb here and suggest that it was the best thing he'd ever seen inside a Curry's store.
Conclusion: The woman needs therapy. The kids will be fine.
crying for days??? gice me a break
what a load of tosh
saw something similar in a PC world not long ago, looked like someone had opened safari, browsed to a porn site, took a screen shot, and set it as the lock screen image.....
I must be set to 'uber pendant' mode today, but...
10 seconds to click your fingers?
One whole minute 'to recognise' images of naked people?
Actually going in to a Curry's store?
How slow is this person?
Stiff upper lip madam
"...confessed to crying for days after the incident"
Jesus, let's hope they don't own any family pets. God forbid they die and expose the children to another uncomfortable facet of reality, the tears will be never-ending
I appreciate that at different ages children are too young to properly process some things and that this incident is bad, but come on... the *mother* was crying for days?!
- Stick a 4K in them: Super high-res TVs are DONE
- Review You didn't get the MeMO? Asus Pad 7 Android tab is ... not bad
- BEST BATTERY EVER: All lithium, all the time, plus a dash of carbon nano-stuff
- If it weren't for that GIANT ASTEROID. Sigh. 'Colossal bad luck', old DINOSAUR chap
- Bring back error correction, say Danish 'net boffins