All your spacecraft are belong to us.
Boffins from the Russian space agency are baffled by the odd behaviour of the Phobos-Grunt probe, which seems to be flying all on its own without the aid of its non-firing engines. The spacecraft, originally meant for a mission to Martian moon Phobos, has been stuck in an Earth orbit for most of this month after two engine …
All your spacecraft are belong to us.
... of the Mysterons. We know that you can hear us Earthmen.
Cease sending your spy probes to our planet or face our revenge!
Da-da dah da-da-da dum!
And it's only money which can be invented out of thin air, these days, so why the dumb hassle?
“If it becomes clear that everything has failed and the insurance issue is settled… we will decide what to do next,” he said."
Circling around Earth whenever it is contracted to deliver services to Mars, and the insurance issue is not settled and full compensation not paid out yet? Isn't that just bloody typical.
Who better to comment on this?
ALL YOUR B0RKEN PROBE ARE BELONG TO US!
I think this image says it all.
quagaars - that is all.
So, it's not possible the command to start the engines made the engines do *something* to change the orbit, if not exactly what was expected?
Or is it under the control of ET? ;-)
- and leaks contribute thrust
NUMBER 5 IS ALIVE!
Are they sure that the command and control systems haven't been hacked? It's looking suspiciously like some kind of James Bond film to me.
There are no nuclear weapons on this craft, I can't see why this is so important to you?
Wonder if they stumped up for fully comp?...
Nah, just third party fire and theft!
Don't be silly, who'd want to steal a burning satellite.
Mine’s the one with a bottle of accelerant in the pocket
If the 'wings' are indeed turning some of its speed into height, then they won't have to wait very long (like half an orbit?) to see that it's still heading for a bath.
It'll be planting a Chinese flag on Venus before you know it.
"It'll be planting a Chinese flag on Venus before you know it."
Or even a Russian one?
not because it is hard, but because it is easier.
In Soviet Russia...
In Soviet Russia, moon land on you!
Its the X37B - using a low thrust configuration to avoid detection while tethered to the russian craft.
Is that Phobos-Grunt has become self-aware, stopped talking with its fleshy oppressors and has decided its time to leave Earth in search of actual intelligent life!!
From the comments that are going around on the MPML list, it's fooked.
"I just watched it pass from San Francisco. This thing is tumbling. It started out ISS bright. Then it faded. Then it intensified to the brightness of an iridium flare. Peak-to-peak was about 20 seconds.
Tommorow night, SF has an even higher viewing.
Like that was ever likely, so looks like its just getting lighter, leaving a trail of fuel behind it as it rises into space, let's hope John McClane doesn't get careless with his zippo.
...But the Russians said they couldn't communicate, because the antennas are in the wrong orientation. So, if it's tumbling, at some point you'd think they would be OK. Would hope the other countries with the capabilities would assist.
(Wish, sometimes I didn't live so far North - 65 degrees. Then, I'd be able to see both. Rats. I'd love to. Once-in-a-lifetime.)
1. Make a "Mars Probe".
2. Shoot it into orbit.
3. Have it "fail" to escape orbit.
4. Enjoy your new spy satellite, which NO-ONE SUSPECTS!
I highly doubt the solar panels will work as wings at that orbital height, also the things weighs 11 tonnes.
and even if it did, it would create some drag to create lift... and that will slow the craft down and the orbit will decay. You can't go creating enough lift to raise to a higher orbit without putting a bit more ooph out of the motors to keep the speed up... Otherwise you could throw a paper plane into orbit by hand!
with a borked tractor beam, obviously. Watch trajectory closely, wait till probe turns into a can then unleash the smart bombs!
I read about this a while ago, but in that case it was some orbit prediction software. It was trying to match the reported positions with an orbit, and adjusting the orbit to fit the viewings. In the end there was a cyclic variance of the orbit increasing a little, then a bit more and then decreasing in a similar way to rounding errors in some types of calculation.
We have hardly had any clear skys here since it launched for visual confirmation of the orbit :(
However, it's all for nought if the TM/TC systems are not operating.
bump into any / all skys satellites and put us out of misery
First chance to escape from the mother country and they are gone.
Probably doing the happy dance right now.
Shouldn't this story be filed under ROTM? :)
.....actually see what they loaded into the top of the launch rocket?
Could have been a busted old boiler filled with concrete.
Kinda long body, MD=200 km. Just 200.
It has clearly been high jacked.
Russians? Insurance? Has anyone had a look to see if there's a suspiciously satellite-looking thing lying under a tarp in the bacl of the lab?
"We are pleased to announce orbital insertion of our spy satel... OH sorry I mean (takes out onion) the sad failure of our heroic Mars mission"
The theory of relitivity on its head!
Whoooaaaaa. I see a premise for a '50s Grade B sci-fi movie here. Too bad Roger Corman's gone.
...monomethyl hydrazine perhaps?
Things could get exciting if it gets high enough to reach the ISS orbit... but then we can just send a Shuttle up to move the ISS or the Grunt.
oh well, pass the popcorn!
It must be the gravitational pull of Planet Nibiru.
.. dont aim for a lower goal russia!
'Course, it might just be "HELP", but hope isn't lost yet. Think the opportunity to visit Mars has gone for now, but I wondered if they can park the thing in a Lagrange spot, and, assuming it's still functional, wait for the next opportunity?
This is really interesting to watch...Bit of Apollo-13 stuff, ripping success from the jaws of failure?
"bump into any / all skys satellites and put us out of misery"
Well it didn't bump anything off permanently, but last year Galaxy 15 here over the US *did* go out of control, and drifted past the paths of Galaxy 12 and AMC11. It's bent-pipe transmitters were still running so it knocked out the signal for each satellite for about 30 minutes as it drifted path.
Anyway, if the sat's tumbling, it probably does have a leak as well.
Shoulda called the men from: Special Projects Bureau!
and the governments here really expected us to be able to continue launching invasion vehicles at them without some sort of counter-response?