MrsNo1's a nurse, when she was in training she spent a stint working in A&E. One case they had while she was a man who came in with his gentleman sausage trapped in the nozzle of the vacuum cleaner. To add to his profuse embarrassment, he was a neighbour of the ward Sister just what you want to see at a time like that.
When asked asked how it happened he replied
Boredom and stupidity"