back to article US general: 'We're cleared to cyber-bomb enemy hackers'

The US military is now legally in the clear to launch offensive operations in cyberspace, the commander of the US Strategic Command has said. "I do not believe that we need new explicit authorities to conduct offensive operations of any kind," Air Force General Robert Kehler told Reuters. But he added that the military was …

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Silver badge

What is he going to do?

Lets say I break into some military computers and issue orders for people to fire missiles at each other. General Kehler decides I deserve some retribution, and activates his malware in my computer. Next time a toy robot falls on the delete button the block of C4 in my computer detonates and ... wait a minute ... I forgot to install a block of C4 in my computer. I cannot find them at Misco or Novatech. Where did Matt Farrell from Die Hard get his? Do I need a free PCI or PCIe slot? Is there a Linux driver?

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Anonymous Coward

Die Hard...

i dont think it was him that put the C4 there, ...

i think it was his broadband provider

phone message

you have used your data for the month, we've charged you £5 per meg, limited the bandwidth on your ports and yet still you insist on being naughty

please refer to your T&C an on page 3011 you will see that you gave us the right to use all means nessary to stop your bad terroriest funding ways

Please note you will be charged an early leaving fee, plus equipment cost and by reading this you have also agreed to any intact organs being donated. thank you for your service an look forward to the after life,

tick tick BOOOOM!

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Alien

I work for cyber command

Damn, I'd love to be able to use that line.

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Silver badge
Mushroom

All states possess an inherent right to self-defense

Except Lybia, Iraq, Iran, Afghanistan, etc obviously.

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Mushroom

Friendly Fire

I have just checked the on-call support for our firewall.

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Gentlemen, we have just received authorization to put Skynet online.

Now which button do I push again?

It was bigger in the movie.

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Anonymous Coward

Who you think you're at war with, boy? "The Internet"?

After gitmo, extraordinary rendition, presidential condonement of torture, the WMD proofs, and all the other little things that turned out to not be entirely clean after all, the insistence the USoA has all the legal niceties licked to go and have a jolly old virtual war against any and all virtual threat as they see fit seems a bit... welll... American[tm]. Hope you're feeling like a good little PATRIOT with your PATRIOT missile and your PATRIOT act.

I won't ask you for the truth, though, you needn't tell me you think I can't handle it. Instead I'll be snarfing a last digital copy of Dr. Strangelove before my internet connection gets EMPed out of existence, no guessing on whose orders. Or maybe fried by orbital laser; I recall you rescinding your promises there too.

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Silver badge
Black Helicopters

Authorised by the US

"I do not believe that we need new explicit authorities to conduct offensive operations of any kind,"

So he doesn't need any authorisation from the country where the person being attacked is living. He doesn't need to comply with their laws as to what evidence is required before assuming someone is guilty.

As usual US law trumps everyone else, even in other countries.

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Anonymous Coward

The rule is phuck around and die

If you're dumb enough to hack you're dumb enough to die. It's that simple.

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Silver badge
Mushroom

Optional Cloud Phormation? I don't think so, matey, for IT deliver anything desirable effortlessly.

That article does beg the question ...... And what of Blighty Cyber Warriors, cloaked and invisible and intangible and anonymous in CHAOS for Command and Control of Powering Orders with ESPecial Forces armed to the hilt and overflowing with snippets and parcels of crack hacked systems code?

Another titanic Bletchley Park type secret for colossal overwhelming AIdDvantage? Or a GCHQ known unknown being groomed in fantasies of future entrapment which are immediately laid waste extraordinarily rendered null and void with rogue and renegade Intellectual property running wild, private and pirate for virtual horse trading in CyberIntelAIgent ZerodDay fora with live immediate virulent export in Fabless XSSXXXXChanges ...... Free Occupied CyberSpace Bourse Stations.

Occupied CyberSpace is an Occupied Head Space in which QuITe Alien Powers with ESPecial Forces are into Creatively Subversive and Constructively Divisive Command and Control of Global Intellectual Property XSSXXXXChange ......... in Order that Clouds Hosting Advanced Operating Systems prevails and All States Secrets belong to us and you and not to them.

Now you know of something which may have been completely unknown to you and to many, but to a choice few into monitoring and mentoring of human planetary development could it be more of a explosive surprise and crazy concern. Who knows? ..... But I Kid U Not.

RSVP GCHQ ..... is a Novel Offer 42 Call, and would immediately define and inform Virtual Terrain Teamsters in Live Operational Virtual Environments, with whatever response may or may not be given, the current present state, and future fitness for purpose condition, of Blighty's Great Game Play.

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Big Brother

Certainly «[a]ll states possess an inherent right to self-defense»,

which, of course, is why the US attacks on, say, Granada, Serbia, Iraq, and numerous other countries which had previously attacked the United States came as no surprise. Of course, the report issued by the US military department (misnamed, since the end of WW II, the Department of Defense) did by juxtaposition attempt to extend that «inherent right» to «defend[ing] ... our interests», i e, the use of military force whenever or wherever the US finds it convenient and judges it can get away with it. For some strange reason, however, UNO Charter, which US officials played a primary role in framing, would seem to limit the exercise of that inherent right to a much narrower range of cases ; thus Article 51 states «Nothing in the present Charter shall impair the inherent right of individual or collective self-defense if an armed attack occurs against a Member of the United Nations, until the Security Council has taken measures necessary to maintain international peace and security. ...» But all that's been out of fashion for decades, of course ; the UNO Security Council was long ago replaced by «coalitions of the willing [or bribed, coerced, or dragged]». O tempora o mores !...

Henri

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Trollface

Nice

2nd time here in over a year. Good to see amanfrommars still at it

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