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back to article Stripper nicked for 'nicking knickers' with kids in tow

A Florida stripper faces shoplifting and child cruelty charges after allegedly topping up her lingerie drawer for free with her kids in tow. Ashley Fleischmann was allegedly spotted on CCTV at the Burlington Coat Factory in Orlando lifting several items from the smalls department, before leaving without paying, the Orlando …

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Anonymous Coward

Not what I thought

I was intrigued by the "Pastie" reference, but according to Google, a pastie is a nipple cover and not, as I had thought, a reference to the shape of other parts of the stripper's anatomy

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Aha, so it has no relation to the time-honoured westcountry practice of pasty-smashing?

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Coat

Pronunciation is everything

Apparently derived from the glue rather than the Cornish delicacy.

Mind you, it could give rise to a new unit of measurement for the Bulgarian Airbag, the "Ginster"...

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TRT
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Pronunciation you say?...

I'll try and get my mouth around it.

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Anonymous Coward

well, as the old saying goes

Don't judge until you've walked a mile in her crotchless knickers

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Trollface

Then you're a mile away...

and you have her knickers?

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Trollface

you have her knickers

and cold nuts...

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Silver badge

and some serious sores

on the bits that dangled through the cloth saw.

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Pint

What a team!

"A quick rummage around Google fails to uncover a link for the Crystal Cabaret, but according to a number of really NSFW review sites ..."

Thank God we've got Team Register to do the heavy lifting on stories like this.

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TRT
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IT Angle

Chris de Burgh has a lot to answer for.

A very, very, very lot.

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TRT
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"This girl was in her working clothes!"

No. No-one remember "Patricia The Stripper"?

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Thumb Down

This story is just a bit sad. Not really bootnotes-lol-worthy.

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I agree

It seemed a bit pants to me.

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Silver badge

The story or the surfing?

It would be interesting to know whether the story resulted in the surfing or if someone was "researching" pastie clubs (and here was me thinking Devon Savouries) and stumbled upon the story.

"Honest Mr. Editor, Sir - there's this reeeellllly IT relevant story ..... right here .... it's about, err, Oh hell, you got me. I was just looking for smut."

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Unhappy

Kids

"She allegedly admitted she'd taken the kids with her as cover, reasoning that they would lower the chances of her being arrested."

A technique that lots of shoplifters use, according to people I know in "retail". Even if suspicion does fall on you, you can always claim the little dears did it without your knowledge, the little scamps.

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WTF?

Great camouflage

"If I bring in this gaggle of kids, nobody will notice!"

Were this rented kids and didn't she have any of her own? Otherwise she'd known they're the stormtroopers of the Lord of Entropy, and attention magnets like you cannot believe.

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Joke

Optional

There was a sketch by "Scotland the What?" which was a spoof Mastermind show with the specialist subject of "petty crime in Auchterturra between the dates of 19th April & 6th June" (can't remember the exact dates, but it was less than 2 months).

- What unsolved crime was commited between the dates of May 19th & 20th?

- Theft of sundry items of womens underwear from clothes lines round the town

- That's not what I have written here...

- Knickers being nicked?

- Correct!

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Child Cruelty?

Since when has being dragged round the shops been child cruelty?

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Coat

Shopping Cruelty

"Since when has being dragged round the shops been child cruelty?"

All my life, as I recall

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Anonymous Coward

"Since when has being dragged round the shops been child cruelty?"

Always!!!

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Anonymous Coward

Husband cruelty

Just wait until they grow up and not only are they dragged around the shops but they have to give an opinion. Gid help them if they get it wrong.

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Anonymous Coward

She was planning to wear them – briefly presumably

Unless things have changed then I would presume she'd be wearing them all night. When I worked in Orlando in 84-86 even topless wasn't allowed and the reference to pastie club would indicate things are still the same, sellotape over nipples and knickers on. If anybody is going to the Doll House have a drink for me.

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Anonymous Coward

Not that funny, actually

If you look at her sad, defeated, tired and prematurely aged face in the mugshot. There's probably grinding poverty, poor life chances and a young woman who doesn't feel particularly in control of her life here.

I actually found it somewhat depressing, and can't help thinking that she probably deserves help. People who make informed choices usually don't end up like that.

Sad now. Sorry for the srsface, but it's true.

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Flame

Bzzt. Thank you for playing.

The vast majority of poor people are decent, hard-working and law-abiding.

Crimes are perpetrated by criminals. Full stop.

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Joke

"The children were placed in the care of social services...

"...and earned Fleischmann a charge on child cruelty"

Erm, that might have been phrased better!!

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Bit of a shift

When I was growing up, it was thought that people who left the Midwest went to the East Coast if they were smart, or West Coast if they were dumb. Now it seems the dumb people are going to Florida.

If I had to hazard a guess, the cold winter weather kills off or re-invigorates bad brain cells. In LA and Florida, the rot just keeps spreading.

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Anonymous Coward

So is a "Burlington Coat" some kind of euphemism for nickers?

"Slowly she raised her skirt and gave him an eyeful of her Burlington Coats".

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MJI
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Pastie Club

Better off going to Cornwall then.

I am hungry now!!!!

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Anonymous Coward

Photo or it didn't happen !

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Paris Hilton

Pasty Club

I think I found the club!

http://www.popandpasty.co.uk/

Paris - well, if you need an explanation, it probably wouldn't help you anyway!

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Pictures or it didn't happen ;) Thin-flimsy costume optional.

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Is it just me, or is the byline "Team Register" the journalistic equivalent of "An Alan Smithee Film"?

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FAIL

cruel?

Dragging the kids around a department store is sooooo cruel - perhaps she should have left them out on the street to fend for themselves..

Nice to see the authorities using the kids as leverage..

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