Stripper nicked for 'nicking knickers' with kids in tow
A Florida stripper faces shoplifting and child cruelty charges after allegedly topping up her lingerie drawer for free with her kids in tow. Ashley Fleischmann was allegedly spotted on CCTV at the Burlington Coat Factory in Orlando lifting several items from the smalls department, before leaving without paying, the Orlando …
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Not what I thought
I was intrigued by the "Pastie" reference, but according to Google, a pastie is a nipple cover and not, as I had thought, a reference to the shape of other parts of the stripper's anatomy
Aha, so it has no relation to the time-honoured westcountry practice of pasty-smashing?
Pronunciation is everything
Apparently derived from the glue rather than the Cornish delicacy.
Mind you, it could give rise to a new unit of measurement for the Bulgarian Airbag, the "Ginster"...
Pronunciation you say?...
I'll try and get my mouth around it.
well, as the old saying goes
Don't judge until you've walked a mile in her crotchless knickers
and some serious sores
on the bits that dangled through the cloth saw.
What a team!
"A quick rummage around Google fails to uncover a link for the Crystal Cabaret, but according to a number of really NSFW review sites ..."
Thank God we've got Team Register to do the heavy lifting on stories like this.
Chris de Burgh has a lot to answer for.
A very, very, very lot.
"This girl was in her working clothes!"
No. No-one remember "Patricia The Stripper"?
This story is just a bit sad. Not really bootnotes-lol-worthy.
The story or the surfing?
It would be interesting to know whether the story resulted in the surfing or if someone was "researching" pastie clubs (and here was me thinking Devon Savouries) and stumbled upon the story.
"Honest Mr. Editor, Sir - there's this reeeellllly IT relevant story ..... right here .... it's about, err, Oh hell, you got me. I was just looking for smut."
Kids
"She allegedly admitted she'd taken the kids with her as cover, reasoning that they would lower the chances of her being arrested."
A technique that lots of shoplifters use, according to people I know in "retail". Even if suspicion does fall on you, you can always claim the little dears did it without your knowledge, the little scamps.
Great camouflage
"If I bring in this gaggle of kids, nobody will notice!"
Were this rented kids and didn't she have any of her own? Otherwise she'd known they're the stormtroopers of the Lord of Entropy, and attention magnets like you cannot believe.
Optional
There was a sketch by "Scotland the What?" which was a spoof Mastermind show with the specialist subject of "petty crime in Auchterturra between the dates of 19th April & 6th June" (can't remember the exact dates, but it was less than 2 months).
- What unsolved crime was commited between the dates of May 19th & 20th?
- Theft of sundry items of womens underwear from clothes lines round the town
- That's not what I have written here...
- Knickers being nicked?
- Correct!
Child Cruelty?
Since when has being dragged round the shops been child cruelty?
Shopping Cruelty
"Since when has being dragged round the shops been child cruelty?"
All my life, as I recall
"Since when has being dragged round the shops been child cruelty?"
Always!!!
Husband cruelty
Just wait until they grow up and not only are they dragged around the shops but they have to give an opinion. Gid help them if they get it wrong.
She was planning to wear them – briefly presumably
Unless things have changed then I would presume she'd be wearing them all night. When I worked in Orlando in 84-86 even topless wasn't allowed and the reference to pastie club would indicate things are still the same, sellotape over nipples and knickers on. If anybody is going to the Doll House have a drink for me.
Not that funny, actually
If you look at her sad, defeated, tired and prematurely aged face in the mugshot. There's probably grinding poverty, poor life chances and a young woman who doesn't feel particularly in control of her life here.
I actually found it somewhat depressing, and can't help thinking that she probably deserves help. People who make informed choices usually don't end up like that.
Sad now. Sorry for the srsface, but it's true.
Bzzt. Thank you for playing.
The vast majority of poor people are decent, hard-working and law-abiding.
Crimes are perpetrated by criminals. Full stop.
"The children were placed in the care of social services...
"...and earned Fleischmann a charge on child cruelty"
Erm, that might have been phrased better!!
Bit of a shift
When I was growing up, it was thought that people who left the Midwest went to the East Coast if they were smart, or West Coast if they were dumb. Now it seems the dumb people are going to Florida.
If I had to hazard a guess, the cold winter weather kills off or re-invigorates bad brain cells. In LA and Florida, the rot just keeps spreading.
So is a "Burlington Coat" some kind of euphemism for nickers?
"Slowly she raised her skirt and gave him an eyeful of her Burlington Coats".
Pastie Club
Better off going to Cornwall then.
I am hungry now!!!!
Pasty Club
I think I found the club!
http://www.popandpasty.co.uk/
Paris - well, if you need an explanation, it probably wouldn't help you anyway!
Pictures or it didn't happen ;) Thin-flimsy costume optional.
Is it just me, or is the byline "Team Register" the journalistic equivalent of "An Alan Smithee Film"?
cruel?
Dragging the kids around a department store is sooooo cruel - perhaps she should have left them out on the street to fend for themselves..
Nice to see the authorities using the kids as leverage..
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