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back to article Huge potentially inhabited water lake found on Jupiter moon

In major extra-terrestrial news, scientists have announced the first discovery of at least one huge body of liquid water beyond planet Earth, offering confirmation at last of a potential offworld habitat for alien life. The water in question - roughly enough to fill one of the North American Great Lakes - has been spotted …

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Alien

ALL THESE WORLDS ARE YOURS

EXCEPT EUROPA.

ATTEMPT NO LANDING THERE.

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Damn it,

beat me to it!

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... and the first ship to land there will be trashed by a weird giant ice-worm...

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Anonymous Coward

I WAS BORN IN A WATER MOON

Some people, especially its inhabitants, called it a planet, but as it was only a little over two hundred kilometres in diameter “moon’ seems the more accurate term.

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Perfect man, just perfect.

(And what an example of seredipity - that your post managed to score the 1st post, all of the subsequent 2010 quotes have been made to look a bit silly :D)

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Pint

Another SF story proven correct

cf. Arthur C. Clarke's "2010"

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Anonymous Coward

ALL THESE WORLDS ARE YOURS EXCEPT EUROPA

ATTEMPT NO LANDING THERE.

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Boffin

Before anyone asks

According to the US EPA, the average volume of one of the great lakes is 22,573 cubic kilometers, so about 9,029,200,000 Olympic swimming pools.

You're welcome

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ALL THESE WORLDS ARE YOURS EXCEPT EUROPA

ATTEMPT NO LANDING THERE

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All these worlds are yours, except--

--ALRIGHT! WE'VE _DONE_ THAT!

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Trollface

Has anyone mentioned 2010 yet?

Can't remember the quote, was something about EUROPA though.

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We'll be the Pirate Twins again.

EURRRROOOOOPAAAAA

No wait, that was Thomas Dolby

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FAIL

ALL THESE SPACECRAFT ARE YOURS

EXCEPT THE ONES THAT HAVE THE SCARY WORD "NUKE-U-LAR" IN THEM. ATTEMPT NO LANDING WITH THEM.

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Anonymous Coward

Thank you

I wish I could upvote this one a couple hundred times. PETA, Greenpeace, and the rest of the illiterate treehuggers need to be the first into the black hole.

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speaking as a tree hugger (re: JIMO probe)...

...I've mentioned my position on this in one of the Cassini threads, so I can only add JEEZUS H. CHRIST, YOU GUYS! IT'S NOT A WEAPONS SYSTEM! IT'S GOING TO FRICKIN' _JUPITER_, F'CRIPESAKE! NOTHING FRICKIN' _LIVES_ THERE! GET A GODDAMN' _GRIP_, ALREADY!

Phew. Thanks. I feel better now.

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Anonymous Coward

Yes, let's all parrot Lewis Page's take on the cancellation (far better than thinking for ourselves, after all):

"In the end, however, following protest over the idea of spacegoing reactors (and also for cost reasons) Jimo was cancelled."

Far more likely, however, is that NASA and partners were skint after yet another budget cut, made so that bankers and the finance industry can still have their champagne and hand-jobs, and so that the military and parasite industries can "splurge" on more war.

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Mushroom

Don't pump enriched Uranium into the sky!

Pump depleted Uranium onto sand denizens!

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Joke

Not a 2010 quote!

UNLEASH THE KRAKEN! THE EARTHLINGS ARE COMING!

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Happy

I for one welcome....

Our tentacled, soggy Europan overlords!!

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What, the French?

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Anonymous Coward

Yep - the life is right over there ...

... right next to the life we found on Mars.

Oh, wait.

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Stop

now we have had our fun, calm down

the liquid below may be somewhat unpleasant to organics, let a lone life. Hydrogen peroxide from the surface ice radiation reactions and the possibility of geothermal vents making a sulphuric acid bath. One for the chemistry students. What would the resulting chemical broth be like ?

Lots of precipitating salts I suspect.

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Boffin

Lots of precipitating salts....

...along with a few bundles of hydrocarbons and a little bit of heat energy and what do we get???

mmm... perhaps not so unpleasant for organics after all if what grows around Earths geothermal vents is anything to go by....

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Meh

not quite

Gunk. Don't see how you get to life from that mix. carbon stains in sulphate deposits are more likely. You make the common assumption life is self assembling. The peroxides and acid would be very effective at shortening long molecules.

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Meh

> life not self assembling

> self-assemblers everywhere

Mfw

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Coat

We have received a radio message from Europa!

They are asking for a bailout.

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Virgin Galactic announces

Swimming holidays on Europa!

* Please bring your own towel.

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Coat

swimming holidays on Europa?

Bring my own towel?

Well, luckily, I always know where my towel _is_. (Sorry, couldn't help it)

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Mushroom

No nuke reactors in space eh?

What do these fools think powers the Sun???

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Mushroom

Reactors in space isn't the issue - it's reactors a few km up in our atmosphere strapped to a device that has a bit of a tendency to explode.

(For the record I'm totally pro-nuclear and nuclear-in-space. Just that a few seem to have misunderstood the argument)

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Now all we need is the Chinese to launch a probe to land on the surface.....

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Perhaps if we fire enough boxes of Black Magic at Jupiter we can make Europa more hospitable for the swimming-tree-things ?

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Joke

Next week.

Germany launches a mission to Europa, designed to place towels on all the best spots close to the water.

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Joke

Ice sheets collapsing??

Better ban cars and coal fired power stations and set up some wind farms then!

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Coat

Water on Europa

Last time I ordered water in the Europa hotel, it was one of those fancy San Pellegrino bottles, near cost £4!

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Latest Euro-crisis news

Germany refuses to extend ECB credit lines to Europans.

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Inhabited?

I wonder what could be living up there in these deep, dark, freezing waters. And where any such lifeform would feel most at ease if it was to land on Earth.

On a completely unrelated note, if you're planning an expedition in Antartica to investigate a strange, large metal object embedded deep in the ice, do yourself a favor and bring a spare gas tank for your flamethrower.

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