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back to article Meanwhile in Japan: Your new best pal is a vending machine

Almost a million vending machines in Japan will be ready to start a personal relationship with shoppers, rewarding regulars with weather checks and even remembering their birthdays. Punters can check into the machines using a camera-equipped phone to snap a QR code and assign an avatar to that machine. Check in often enough and …

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Joke

What?

A personal relationship with a vending machine?

Do the conceptors of this hate humanity THAT much??

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Anonymous Coward

In a word, yes.

On a cultural difference note, Japan is pretty solidly stuck in "cute!!!1!" where, say, the USoA is similarly stuck in "MIGHTY MIGHT!!!1!" (what was it that bunch of Aussies called it? "preposterone"). So, try and imagine the same basic thing only drawn with narrow hips, broad shoulders, and GUNS EVERYWHERE. Would that look more familiar? To 'merkins perhaps. What would it take for Europeans to take the bait, perhaps something themed on Ibiza?

Remember the spice girls? That was pretty hateful in how it deliberately targeted a very specific demographic and how inevitably that demographic's parents got to pony up, even if it was pretty well executed.

But yes, marketeering is all about making people buy your stuff and come back for more. Whatever it takes. Anything goes. Anything at all. You coming back because of the good service and it gets you something you actually need cq benefit from is a small fraction of the equation.

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Happy Kirby vs Angry Kirby

Guess one is angry!

http://www.geekfill.com/2010/07/26/angry-american-kirby-vs-happy-japanese-kirby-2/

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"Quest for happiness"

How's about quest 1: Get a few hobbies, get talking to a few like-minded people who share those hobbies, get some RL friends, and STOP BUYING STUPID SHIT...

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Anonymous Coward

"Having a hobby"

often enough already impies "buying stupid shit" already, dunnit?

Or maybe I've been reading too much dork tower lately.

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@Graham Bartlett

It might be only me but getting involved in something bigger than your self helps. For some people it is getting better at a sport, a technical field, overcoming challenges, ... You know, get some activity and involvement. The others stuffs follows if you magnetize on a goal.

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Only in Japan

They really are scraping the bottom of the barrel or should that be can in this case.

Oh dear.

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Coat

Sugoi!

I'll get my kimono.

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WTF?

The True Worrying Message

Watch the video with CC and translation turned on..... 57 seconds has a worrying message indeed

http://i.imgur.com/D8xRk.png

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Silver badge

That reminds me of some of the jokes about translating

"Coke adds life" a few years back.

I know enough Japanese to tell you that the translated captions (beta) are just about 100% wrong/useless.

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Thumb Up

1:38 is pretty good too.

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"Only used in attack and defence"

So the truth is that Coke are using this as an opportunity to hide weapons throughout our citys? Perhaps that's who's supplying the ground to air missiles for our olympics!

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Share and Enjoy

This message brought to you by The Sirius Cybernetics Corporation

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Coat

Go stick...

... your head in a pig! ;-)

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Your Vending Machine

Now funner to be with!

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Awesome!

All the vending machine at work seems capable of doing is swallowing 10 centime coins and telling you nothing was inserted, along with a 50-50 chance of receiving your coffee without its necessary cup...

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Anonymous Coward

So advanced ...

... it even drinks the coffee for you!

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Anonymous Coward

Everybody to the streets

if we start campagining now, we might be able to stop this happening here!!!

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Anonymous Coward

personal

"A personal relationship with a vending machine"

Hmmm, didn't some guy get jailtime for doing that? (or was it with a mop / bike - I forget for the moment).

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Anonymous Coward

Gaming the system of gamification.

So, all you have to do is take a photo of the QR code on the machine once, bookmark the resulting URL, and then repeatedly refresh it without needing to go near a vending machine ever again?

Also, if they gamify life, won't it just attract griefers?

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Facepalm

What next...

...a vending machine that injects you with a small shot of Charlie after every purchase: just loving' it?

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Anonymous Coward

Surely you must mean...

"Once you pop, you can't stop".

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competing endlessly against each other for ephemeral rewards flashed up on our computer screens

Want to bet?

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Georgia — Hot or Cold

At least my vending machine appreciates me and understands my needs and they are a lot cheaper than hostess bars.

Kawaisou na sarariman - fuyu ni ha hotto kohii ga totemo oishii ne!

(corrections to my Japanese are in order - it's been a while since I was there...)

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Anonymous Coward

QR code japery.

A friend of mine has a laser printer that can print onto self-adhesive stickers. If you see a random QR code stuck to a wall or lamppost round where we live, you'd better watch out or you might get a goatse surprise...

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