Feeds

back to article Threesome ends in arrest as wife struck by pair of TVs

A Miami man's attempt to conduct a threesome with his wife and another woman ended in a spell in the cells after he was accused of assaulting his spouse with a brace of TVs. Deputy sheriffs were called to a kerfuffle at a home in Naples Florida, the Naples News reports, where they found Jorge Daniel Silva, 22, his wife, another …

COMMENTS

This topic is closed for new posts.

Page:

That's the downside of flat screen TVs.

If they'd had CRT ones, nobody would have been arrested.

9
0
Terminator

:: ...nobody would have been arrested. ::

'Cause they'd have been dead. Those old CRT-based units are heavy and solid!

1
3

I thought this referred to Transvestites...I prefer my version of events,

31
0

I thought this referred to Transvestites...I prefer my version of events.

2
5
Anonymous Coward

Me too

I kept wondering why he had a couple of transvestites handy to assault his wife with.

1
0
Anonymous Coward

If you can't stand the heat...

Go solo. If your monster is more green-eyed than one-eyed, you can't go wrong with a onesome.

4
0

But...

Never let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, and vice-versa.

1
0
Coat

Porno!

Always a hit on the big screen TV!

2
1
Holmes

concluded all three were under the influence of alcohol.

that's it.

5
0
Bronze badge
FAIL

Should have said tellys

There was me thinking it was a different sort of TV.

0
0
IT Angle

icon says it all

3
10
WTF?

'tis often said...

...that this sort of thing never ends well.

But this is ridiculous!

0
0

Well, of course it's said that this sort of thing never ends well. Those of us pervs who know how to have group sex without turning it into a police matter are more busy doing it than talking about it! (Well, some of us, anyway. I like doing both, meself.)

Plus, it's more socially accepted to talk about the Threesome That Went Horribly Wrong than the Threesome That Totally Rocked. The Threesome That Went Horribly Wrong reaffirms the cultural narrative about how sex is "supposed" to be.

8
1
Silver badge

Errata

For 'Naples' read 'nipples' throughout.

0
1
Silver badge
WTF?

How the hell...

...do you swing a TV "Like a bat"?

2
0

1) Hang upside down from ceiling

2) Swing TV (which is quite possibly the channel they were watching).

24
0

Evidently there was nothing good on TV either!

2
0
Thumb Up

All articles should end with a quote as good as this ...

"and concluded all three were under the influence of alcohol"

2
0
Facepalm

No, this one should have concluded:

"...concluded all three were under the influence of horny & stupid."

2
0
Anonymous Coward

This sort of behaviour is just not acceptable

Behaving like this is only likely to make it even harder for the rest of us pervs to persuade our reluctant other halves to engage in a little extra frolicking if they feel that this could physically endanger them.

Can't these people think of anyone but themselves for a moment!

13
0
Silver badge

Two TVs in the bedroom?

Maybe thats why their sex life sucks

8
0
Paris Hilton

@wize

I am guessing from the fact that he swung 'em around that they weren't 42 inches - once again, size is everything!!

Paris - cos' she would settle for nothing less than 50 inches

0
1
WTF?

ANY TVs in the bedroom, surely

0
0
Anonymous Coward

Errrrrmm...

... when you say "TV's" ...?

1
0
Silver badge

And. . . . ?

And. . . . ?

0
0
Coat

Oh... Televisions

I'll get me coat.

3
1
Silver badge

What a freak

Wants a threesome and can't stand to see the women kissing???

28
0
Anonymous Coward

Sounds to me like he couldn't perform then got jealous when they carried on without him - happens all the time with insecure men (I'll bet he'd not have been so keen if his wife had wanted 2 guys either).

13
0
Silver badge
Coat

On that subject

Why do so many "über-straight" guys want to go with two women? Surely you just end up with more holes than you can fill .....

Now, two guys and one girl still leave some holes unfilled, but there are at least more possibilities. Especially if you factor in a strap-on!

2
2
Facepalm

Yeah, that.

Maybe he should have rented the movie "The Green Man" first to see what can happen.

0
0
Thumb Up

Can't "perform"?

Grab a camera.

1
0
Anonymous Coward

I believe this covers it

http://www.smbc-comics.com/index.php?db=comics&id=1023#comic

0
0
Anonymous Coward

As a freak

I have to say the whole point is

> to see the women kissing

Now please can we have an icon for a cold shower

4
0

This post has been deleted by its author

Facepalm

:: Why do so many "über-straight" guys want to go with two women? ::

If ya gotta ask, you'll never understand.

4
0
Happy

If ever you need a playmobile reenactment...

18
0
Thumb Up

Be sure to use a video projector instead

Problem solved!

0
0
Silver badge
WTF?

Am I being impossibly oldfashioned here by suggesting.................

...........that he might have concentrated on keeping his wife happy in bed without "assistance"? As in showing the lady a decent amount of enthusiasm and consideration - consistently? I have to say that if you have to "call in reinforcements" you have rather lost the plot with your other half.

6
2

Bit like saying "if you have to use sex toys you've lost the plot" or "if you have to use positions other than missionary you've lost the plot," really. It's not about what you "have" to do, it's about what's fun to do.

3
1
Anonymous Coward

You're assuming that the threesome was the husband's idea. That's not neccessarily the case. Speaking as a man married to a bisexual woman I've got to say that it sounds to me like maybe this bloke was in a similar situation. Granted we both believe that exploring the idea of a threesome would be nearly as damaging to our marriage as cheating and so have never done so, but barring that mentality she would be more likely to suggest bringing in a second woman than I would be.

Anon because she'd be pissed at me for outing her otherwise.

1
0
Silver badge
Thumb Up

RE: "You're assuming that the threesome was the husband's idea"

Indeed I was and concluded that his reaction was (to paraphrase St Theresa) an example of "more tears shed over prayers that are answered than those which go unheard" because he discovered he could not cope with his fantasy when he experienced it in reality. However, you do indeed have a point in the sense that if it *was* his other half that, so to speak, put him on the spot and he just could not handle it then I have rather more sympathy for him. Under those circumstances it may well have been the case that the emotional fall-out of a situation that he did not ask for provoked the violence. Whatever the truth is here I am relieved that nobody was too badly injured - such situations have led to far worse outcomes.

1
0
Bronze badge
Windows

...married to a bisexual woman...

You lucky, lucky sod!

At least you can get a bit of peace on a Friday night, wathing the telly!

2
0
Anonymous Coward

@ Artic Fox

That reminds me of a comment from the Ex

"Why do women like threesomes" (meaning FMF)

"Because it gives us someone to talk to when the bloke falls asleep"

3
0
Anonymous Coward

Nah. She doesn't cheat for the same reason we don't have threesomes. Our marriage is more important to her than whatever woman has caught her eye. The only real advantage over any other married guy I have is that if she catches me checking out another woman she looks also instead of getting mad at me.

0
0
Stop

Doesn't matter!

Had....oh....wait...

1
0

It's a trap that men are easily reeled in by. Your girlfriend will only ever allow you to have a threesome with another girl involved if she has some lesbian tendencies - it's never for your benefit no matter how good it sounds in theory.

I agree with A J Stiles, it's just logical.

2
1
Paris Hilton

That reminds me...

...of the time I went into a TV bar in Frankfurt expecting to watch a match. That was definitely the wrong kind of TV. A 'girl' should not have stubble and an Adam's apple.

Paris? Well just because she is always on TV.

0
2
Anonymous Coward

How the hell...

...did that guy ever get 1 woman to agree to get knobbed, nevermind 2 of them...

Or wait, is that why he was enraged, because he was engorged but they'd realised he was an ugly f**ckling and decided they'd concentrate on each other.

Ahhh, when the trash go out to play = black comedy.

1
0
Facepalm

Felony Battery?

Did he end up in a Dura Cell?

3
0
Anonymous Coward

if he did

i hope his cell mate was not Ever Ready

for his sake

1
0

Page:

This topic is closed for new posts.