A Miami man's attempt to conduct a threesome with his wife and another woman ended in a spell in the cells after he was accused of assaulting his spouse with a brace of TVs. Deputy sheriffs were called to a kerfuffle at a home in Naples Florida, the Naples News reports, where they found Jorge Daniel Silva, 22, his wife, another …
That's the downside of flat screen TVs.
If they'd had CRT ones, nobody would have been arrested.
:: ...nobody would have been arrested. ::
'Cause they'd have been dead. Those old CRT-based units are heavy and solid!
I thought this referred to Transvestites...I prefer my version of events,
I thought this referred to Transvestites...I prefer my version of events.
I kept wondering why he had a couple of transvestites handy to assault his wife with.
If you can't stand the heat...
Go solo. If your monster is more green-eyed than one-eyed, you can't go wrong with a onesome.
Never let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, and vice-versa.
Always a hit on the big screen TV!
concluded all three were under the influence of alcohol.
Should have said tellys
There was me thinking it was a different sort of TV.
icon says it all
'tis often said...
...that this sort of thing never ends well.
But this is ridiculous!
Well, of course it's said that this sort of thing never ends well. Those of us pervs who know how to have group sex without turning it into a police matter are more busy doing it than talking about it! (Well, some of us, anyway. I like doing both, meself.)
Plus, it's more socially accepted to talk about the Threesome That Went Horribly Wrong than the Threesome That Totally Rocked. The Threesome That Went Horribly Wrong reaffirms the cultural narrative about how sex is "supposed" to be.
For 'Naples' read 'nipples' throughout.
How the hell...
...do you swing a TV "Like a bat"?
1) Hang upside down from ceiling
2) Swing TV (which is quite possibly the channel they were watching).
Evidently there was nothing good on TV either!
All articles should end with a quote as good as this ...
"and concluded all three were under the influence of alcohol"
No, this one should have concluded:
"...concluded all three were under the influence of horny & stupid."
This sort of behaviour is just not acceptable
Behaving like this is only likely to make it even harder for the rest of us pervs to persuade our reluctant other halves to engage in a little extra frolicking if they feel that this could physically endanger them.
Can't these people think of anyone but themselves for a moment!
Two TVs in the bedroom?
Maybe thats why their sex life sucks
I am guessing from the fact that he swung 'em around that they weren't 42 inches - once again, size is everything!!
Paris - cos' she would settle for nothing less than 50 inches
ANY TVs in the bedroom, surely
... when you say "TV's" ...?
And. . . . ?
And. . . . ?
I'll get me coat.
What a freak
Wants a threesome and can't stand to see the women kissing???
Sounds to me like he couldn't perform then got jealous when they carried on without him - happens all the time with insecure men (I'll bet he'd not have been so keen if his wife had wanted 2 guys either).
On that subject
Why do so many "über-straight" guys want to go with two women? Surely you just end up with more holes than you can fill .....
Now, two guys and one girl still leave some holes unfilled, but there are at least more possibilities. Especially if you factor in a strap-on!
Maybe he should have rented the movie "The Green Man" first to see what can happen.
Grab a camera.
I believe this covers it
As a freak
I have to say the whole point is
> to see the women kissing
Now please can we have an icon for a cold shower
:: Why do so many "über-straight" guys want to go with two women? ::
If ya gotta ask, you'll never understand.
If ever you need a playmobile reenactment...
Be sure to use a video projector instead
Am I being impossibly oldfashioned here by suggesting.................
...........that he might have concentrated on keeping his wife happy in bed without "assistance"? As in showing the lady a decent amount of enthusiasm and consideration - consistently? I have to say that if you have to "call in reinforcements" you have rather lost the plot with your other half.
Bit like saying "if you have to use sex toys you've lost the plot" or "if you have to use positions other than missionary you've lost the plot," really. It's not about what you "have" to do, it's about what's fun to do.
You're assuming that the threesome was the husband's idea. That's not neccessarily the case. Speaking as a man married to a bisexual woman I've got to say that it sounds to me like maybe this bloke was in a similar situation. Granted we both believe that exploring the idea of a threesome would be nearly as damaging to our marriage as cheating and so have never done so, but barring that mentality she would be more likely to suggest bringing in a second woman than I would be.
Anon because she'd be pissed at me for outing her otherwise.
RE: "You're assuming that the threesome was the husband's idea"
Indeed I was and concluded that his reaction was (to paraphrase St Theresa) an example of "more tears shed over prayers that are answered than those which go unheard" because he discovered he could not cope with his fantasy when he experienced it in reality. However, you do indeed have a point in the sense that if it *was* his other half that, so to speak, put him on the spot and he just could not handle it then I have rather more sympathy for him. Under those circumstances it may well have been the case that the emotional fall-out of a situation that he did not ask for provoked the violence. Whatever the truth is here I am relieved that nobody was too badly injured - such situations have led to far worse outcomes.
...married to a bisexual woman...
You lucky, lucky sod!
At least you can get a bit of peace on a Friday night, wathing the telly!
@ Artic Fox
That reminds me of a comment from the Ex
"Why do women like threesomes" (meaning FMF)
"Because it gives us someone to talk to when the bloke falls asleep"
Nah. She doesn't cheat for the same reason we don't have threesomes. Our marriage is more important to her than whatever woman has caught her eye. The only real advantage over any other married guy I have is that if she catches me checking out another woman she looks also instead of getting mad at me.
It's a trap that men are easily reeled in by. Your girlfriend will only ever allow you to have a threesome with another girl involved if she has some lesbian tendencies - it's never for your benefit no matter how good it sounds in theory.
I agree with A J Stiles, it's just logical.
That reminds me...
...of the time I went into a TV bar in Frankfurt expecting to watch a match. That was definitely the wrong kind of TV. A 'girl' should not have stubble and an Adam's apple.
Paris? Well just because she is always on TV.
How the hell...
...did that guy ever get 1 woman to agree to get knobbed, nevermind 2 of them...
Or wait, is that why he was enraged, because he was engorged but they'd realised he was an ugly f**ckling and decided they'd concentrate on each other.
Ahhh, when the trash go out to play = black comedy.
Did he end up in a Dura Cell?
if he did
i hope his cell mate was not Ever Ready
for his sake
- Product round-up Coming clean: Ten cordless vacuum cleaners
- Something for the Weekend, Sir? I need a password to BRAKE? What? No! STOP! Aaaargh!
- Episode 13 BOFH: WHERE did this 'fax-enabled' printer UPGRADE come from?
- Vulture at the Wheel Ford's B-Max: Fiesta-based runaround that goes THUNK
- Worstall @ the Weekend BIG FAT Lies: Porky Pies about obesity