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back to article Veg rustlers hit with conditional discharge after roadside lineup

A pair of petty thieves were hit with a conditional discharge after pilfering a load of fruit and veg from allotments in Cambridgeshire. The light but grubby fingered vegetable rustlers were searched by suspicious cops across the road from allotments in Brampton, Cambs. Lawrence Miller, 44, and Steven Randall, 46, were found to …

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Forget the marrows, do they have a Turnip that looks like a thingy?

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Some veg couldn't be identified.

So it was photographed and displayed in the police photo-ID log. It was a turnip for the books.

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Happy

I find that particularly ironic my lord because I've got a thingy shaped like a turnip.

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A £40,000 thingy???

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I share their pain.

As a smallholder myself, I've had a couple of marrows pinched, as well as around four pounds of beans and peas. It's no laughing matter. Oh, and allotments are measured in poles, not rods.

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Headmaster

I seem to recall that a rod is the same length as a perch or a pole.

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Joking aside, if you've watered a veg plot every evening for months, not to mention the digging, planting and weeding, for some lazy workshy scrote to come and nick it, really isn't funny.

They are lucky the police caught them, not the allotment holders.

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Not only that...

but some scrote jumped the fence and took a leek last winter.

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And the IT angle is. . .

I would guess that the IT angle of this story is that it shows the future awaiting any sysadmins who let Lulzsec/Anonymous hack their systems.

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No but..

(you know what's coming don't you..)

I have a thingy shaped like a turnip.

ah - the old ones are always the best.

:-)

ttfn

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Anonymous Coward

I went to my allotment at the weekend, only to find someone had dumped 2 inch of soil all over the place. I went back last night and there was another 2 inch of soil. I have no idea whats going on, but the plot thickens.

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Unhappy

Not just veggies ...

There was a story locally a while back, about police stopping a car, and finding 5 rustled sheep in it.

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Coat

Either rustled or...

...date night.

//It's the shearling coat

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Gimp

And a packet of Viagra?

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Sheepish Joyriders

Happens a lots, Sheep on a night out get drunk and steal a car to get home. Well its seems that way in Wales

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Joke

Apparently the one driving insisted that it had a license and insurance, but the plod reckon it was just trying to pull the wool over their eyes......

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Was it a lamb-ogini?

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Did this begin 'once upon a time'?

The police actually solved a crime - quickly and efficently

Without needing the police helicopter or involving a high speed chase?

And it wasn't just a crime where they get a few hundred quid in fine income for a victim-less offence.

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IT Angle

Or, indeed, a thingy shaped like a turnip.

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Coffee/keyboard

Errr....

Quiet month for news, or what, El. Reg.

Thank God I buy my keyboards in bulk nowadays...

"Extremely smallholders" indeed!

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Windows

Well, end of the recipe for Karelian stew...(Which is easy, and delicious, by the way!)

Finns don't like their neighbours:

...Cook without a cover at a moderate temperature, 175 °C, for 2.5 -3 hours. Cover the pot towards the end of the cooking time.

Serve with mashed potato, boiled swedes (rutabagas) and lingonberry purée....

BOILED SWEDES!?!?!?

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Conditional discharge

Also known as "getting away with it".

Community service at least. Thieving bastards.

On the bright side, they weren't stealing processed foods.

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Coat

Well that's more like it!

Proper good old fashioned policing by UK coppers! I need to clean my keyboard...

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Happy

I have never...

...rustled vegetables but I once got told off for rustling my newspaper in the quiet coach.

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@andus

Yes, you have to boil Swedes. It is a well known fact that they are a tall race and as such won't fit in a standard oven (even when you curl them up).

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"the middle classes discover the joy of dodging Waitrose's organic price tags by having a few convenient rods on what would otherwise be wasteground."

Where did that came from? With land being so scarce in the UK - I'm pretty sure any allotment site abandoned by gardeners (not that it would ever happen) would quickly be snapped up by developers and turned into some housing development of one sort or another. Specially as all sites around here are bang in the middle of towns/cities - as that's where people need them.

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Anonymous Coward

OMG ESTER RANZEN

Ester Is tonight recovering in hospital after a manic fan cut off his penis and sent it to her as it looked like a carrot.

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My veggie garden ...

... in a 28 acre corner of the property bordered by a couple main roads, has prominent signs, in four languages[1]. It reads "If you are hungry, come to the big barn and ask anyone for help harvesting food. If you try to take it without asking, the dawgs will use you for food."

In reality, the dawgs will only alert me, the Wife or the Foreman that someone's about (that's how I trained 'em) ... We get a couple dozen takers every week, and all leave happily with a several days worth of produce. Sometimes they get lucky, when I've been making sausage or we have a surplus of eggs or have slaughtered a largish critter. Most of 'em return the favo(u)r and clean stalls & paddocks & ditches, or mow occasionally.

If you have more than you need, share. It comes back five-fold.

[1] English, Spanish, Chinese and Vietnamese, if you care.

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Anonymous Coward

yeasty

ohh on the subject of Conditional discharges, A man in Dublin once made headlines by being in court on a charge of knowingly infecting women with STDs (don't recall the actual legal charge) the judge gave him I kid you not a conditional discharge

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Are we sure they weren't pandas?

Eats roots and leaves...?

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