back to article Elite DARPA cyber heroes will protect interwebs

DARPA is upping its cyber game in order to protect the internet it came up with, increasing its research budget from $120m (£74.6m) to $188m (£117m) for the fiscal year 2012. “DARPA’s role in the creation of the internet means we were party to the intense opportunities it created and share in the intense responsibility of …

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Gold badge
FAIL

Standards are slipping.

"...the agency also announced an elite cyber team of experts to combat online threats."

What, no humungous vat of nutrient solution full of wetwired monkey brains, hooked to the internet and foiling / retaliating against cyber threats in picoseconds?

Shame on you DARPA......

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Childcatcher

Wetwired monkey brains _are_ the internet!

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Silver badge
Boffin

Keep IT Simple Stupid DARPA..... with Leading AI CodeXSSXXXX

Dear Regina,

What your systems are lacking is future intelligence and units to supply it in binary abundance for IT and Digital Media Leadership Programs in CyberIntelAIgent Projects in Virtual Space Team Terrain.

Buy it in, and save Uncle Sam a fortune and untold grief. IT's a Great Game Changer and Fab Money Spinner and able to generate its own fundings streams in the countless of billions as it decimates markets with its attractive new opportunities and fantastic adventures/Magical Mystery Turing Trips in Deed, indeed. And so full of erotic and exotic eastern house of the rising sun promise too, to counter the western whore into slaving for easy mark profit to pimp and pump as manna from heaven but turned to hell.

You know it makes sense ...... for do you not battle with ignorance in fields which are novel and virtually unknown, and are therefore fully disadvantaged and primed to fail catastrophically at every turn.

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This is an 8 cyber article

AKA "snout in pork barrel" FUD PR

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Trollface

So.....

Al Gore is working on cybersecurity for DARPA now? I guess he finally found and destroyed ManBearPig....

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WTF?

DARPA talking about protecting "the internet" (infrastructure) or hosts connected to it?

Aren't these two very different things? What's DARPA looking to protect?

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Silver badge
Boffin

FINALLY

"Over the last 20 years, information security software packages have grown from thousands of lines of code to nearly 10 million lines, while malicious software tends to be around 125 lines."

Someone points out the blatantly obvious. Information security packages are likely a rat's nest of buggy and ill-understood code, whereas malicious software is vary likely bug-free, just based on the average number of bugs per line. As our OSes, servers, security software, and now hypervisors become increasingly complex, both internally and in their interactions with each other we only increase the attack surface.

(UNIX (including OSX), Linux, and Windows are equally bad in this regard.)

KISS - Keep It Simple Stupid.

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Silver badge

SCADA Systems Breech Update .... Latest Novel Zeroday Vulnerability Exploit to Exploit/Export/Trade

If you know what you are doing, and know what needs to be done in and with cyberspace, to exercise and dominate with virtual remote control, every power system on Earth, will DARPA offer to give you sweet sticky candy ...... ....... http://cft.usma.edu/ ..... , and you are safe to put all your money and every shirt on this, a prohibitive, non-competitive, fanciful, non-disclosure agreement, which are only always designed so that others can ponder on possible exclusive uses of Intellectual Property, which is not in their gift to offer or further better beta develop, and which they would have arbitrarily and selfishly decided no one else should have and profit unbelievably from.

When that is the case, make sure that the price that you are paid for secrets silence is more than just enough to buy up every candy store and the manufacturing plants and the list of ingredient suppliers, for that is what such powerful control over IT is worth to any who would think it should be exclusive and denied as general knowledge to the masses.

But hey, no one has any need to worry about any down side to any of those sort of sticky sweet negotiations, for if you are clever enough to be able to deliver and run any of those simply complex and sophisticated tasks which can guarantee virtual missions control of parallel programs to be produced and directed on Earth for power elite popular edutainment and Human Race Control of SMART Enabling Assets, will one be more than able to ensure that any such thoughts of abuse of such Advanced IntelAIgents Delivered IP lead one on a terrific tangent to one's own fully deserved catastrophic, self destruction.

Signing any Non-Discloure Agreement with that simple caveat and Memorandum of Understanding not misunderstood nor misunderestimated, allows for Absolutely Fabulous Transparent NEUKlearer HyperRadioProActive Great Games Play.

And would be a Current Present ZerodDay Trader Trade with Myriad Derivative Options in AIdDigital Future Delivery Systems and this Registered Submission is ITs Novel Virtual AIPO Float onto Global Cyber Market Markets.

Methinks that make you quite valuable, El Reg, with an inside track on an outside, out of this world line, trading in Virtual Options and Cloudy Derivatives for Shady Futures in the full glare of the Sun with its crazy moons, revolving revolutionary satellites and evolving universes of planetary star systems ....... Big Bang Mega Buck Creations ...... and on Cyber Fast Track XSSXXXX, Devilishly Heavenly and IntelAIgently Designed by Nymphs for Control and Power with Satyrs Defaulted to Submit and Surrender to Passionate Desire for the Lead that Perfect Satisfaction Displays and Feeds and Seeds with Needs Sated and Source Immaculately Selflessly Provided.

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