back to article Americans' right to hang fake balls on trucks left dangling

Americans on the horns of a constitutional dilemma over their right to hang simulated, over-sized testicles from the back of their pickups will have to wait even longer for the issue to be decided. Truck nuts Virginia Tice, of Bonneau, South Carolina, was hit with a $445 ticket back in July for hanging a pair of the "truck …

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Silver badge
Paris Hilton

The right to free expression...

is under threat of castration.

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Yag
Facepalm

This is completely nuts...

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Joke

Next model...

Crown jewel encrusted anyone?

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TRT
Silver badge

Spend all that money?

Nah, I'll just tie a space hopper to the bumper and call it the Wesley Warren edition.

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IT Angle

At first I did not know what they were.

At first I did not know what they were and then thought yeah they could be nuts but also seems to be a lazy mans way to hang in such a manner that the eye hook that it hangs from cleans away any rust that might be on the hook that it is hanging from.

Might be a worthy tool for lazy people for polishing their trailer hitch balls.

Just hang larger ones below it and let the inside of the hook be sandpaper or an SOS pad.

Btu of course that would be silly to do even though that is a good idea to market.

PATENT PENDING! lol yeah riiiiight.

People in chat forums refuse to think that I was the guy who thought up the TV show DEXTER.

Just someone stole the idea from me. Oh well. win some lose some.

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3

Didn't quite follow that

I'm sorry, but, what?

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Anonymous Coward

Unholy turdspurt

Check out his other contributions. He's one crazy dude.

(anonymous as I get the feeling he has a bunker in Montana and a large collection of firearms)

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Anonymous Coward

Makes amanfrommars(1) seem positively cogent...

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Joke

I'd buy a pair but...

Do they have any tesimonials?

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Coat

What do you mean "over-sized"?

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Coat

Obviously

It must have been cold outside (despite the chap sporting such dapper jorts)

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Unhappy

Sigh.

Really, we're not all like that.

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IR

I always thought they were rather silly, just like the person who buys a truck to make themselves feel big (there are far fewer who legitimately need a truck), but at more than $50 for a pair of rubber testicles to hang from it?! That's just nuts (pun not originally intended)

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Anonymous Coward

You missed one cliche

What happens when it snows??... Cold as a Monkey's ....

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Anonymous Coward

Picture

Serious case of tow-ball abuse...

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Coat

You could say...

... that the ball's in their court ...

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Headmaster

There I fixed it

You could say that the balls are in their court...

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Anonymous Coward

Sigh...

I've seen these in the UK, the only word that I thought was "Classy".

I mean, seriously, what is the thought process? "you know what'll make me look really cool and let everyone else know that I'm the king of the road? Bumper Bollocks!"

I'm torn between thinking it's a freedom of expression thing and that they should have their driver's license taken away for the good of the rest of us. (I'd also extend this to everyone who owns a BMW M3 that has a numberplate containing "M3")

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Anonymous Coward

on balance

I think people should be able to indulge their taste for this kind of thing - it sends a clear message to other road users that they should be avoided at all costs.

as for the M3 registration plate brigade, I suspect they should be gassed.

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Silver badge

Re: what is the thought process?

Overcompensation

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Silver badge
Thumb Up

"Bumper Bollocks"

Not knowing the Brit market, I'm not sure if this is already in use...but if it isn't, you have got to copyright that!

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Anonymous Coward

Hmmm, must see if I can fit a set of Bumper Bollocs to an M3.

But don't recall that I've ever seen an M3 with a tow hitch.

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TRT
Silver badge

Hmm...

I wonder... A DAB radio housed inside a pair of fake, plastic testicles... Ack, I suppose it would only pick up BBC Parliament and similar. What more could you expect from talking bollocks?

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Silver badge
Pint

Just hardware

Anybody who wants to bye my "software" patent for a dangling vagina.

I thought so.

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Sir

Does anyone know the law in the Uk?

I have a pair of silver bollocks from a while back that I think would look just dandy hanging off my Victory cruiser :D

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Facepalm

All time low reached.

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Coat

Just wait...this is only the early stages of the Idiocracy...

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Happy

Not available in titanium?

America - land of the free!

//where good taste takes a holiday

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Stop

And...

...what is the statement that these people are trying to make?

Personally, I think you should be able to put up what you want in/on your vehicle. It's a real world out there and people shouldn't all have to change their personalities or their ways just because someone gets a bit snorty.

As long as it's not actually harming anyone, why shouldn't you be able to do what you want?

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Silver badge

What a load of cobblers ...

Whilst I personally wouldn't adorn my pickup with this kind of "art", last time I looked we do still have freedom of expression here in the USofA.

Besides, things like this, along with welded chain license plate frames, a gazillion bumper stickers, and the like, help the sane amongst us steer clear of society's nutters.

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Pint

What a load of cobblers...

We may still have freedom of expression in the USA, but we also have some blue-nosed plods who think their badge entitles them to write brand new laws about things like truck nuts, simply because THEY are personally offended.

Have to settle for a beer because El Reg doesn't have a wine goblet available. Actually, I'll need several to forget this

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It's not just balls.

You should see what else they hang off their trucks..

http://www.bumperdumper.com/

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Coat

It's not just balls...

Actually, the bumper dumper (tm) makes sense in some cases... better than having to squat over a log out in the woods...

Mine's the yellow slicker... I'm going to need it to keep off the shower of peanuts coming at me...

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Silver badge

Truck nuts aren't offensive.

They do make you look like an ass though.

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Happy

Obscene bumper law

Your know your country is disappearing up it's own arse when it needs laws like this.

For balance, I should point out that being brits, we disappeared up our own PC/health&safety infected arses years ago.

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Paris Hilton

Makes perfect sense to me

Car is a penis extension after all..

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which explains smart cars ...

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Anonymous Coward

pickup truck

now you can get some (fake) testicles to go with your penis substitute

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Holmes

cock riding?

Something I have always wanted to ask the mostly male and homophobic drivers of these trucks: If those are his balls, aren't you riding/sitting with his penis up your arse?

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Anonymous Coward

Agree with the cop

Fraid we all agree with the cop, it's long overdue for these to be banned. It's not about freedom of expression, but about standards. And standards shouldn't be set by the lowest common denominator.

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Personally I thought they were a silly idea.

Now, though, I think they're great and that rather than being banned they should be compulsary.

It's not about freedom of expression but about uptight pricks who think they're the only ones whose standards should apply.

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Anonymous Coward

In your face numb nut.

Have you not heard of 'freedom from expression' a la 'freedom from religion'...? Like the gentleman in the photo, apparently not.

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Silver badge

No more offensive than a zoo

Seriously, if you're going to call these offensive you need to put pants on the zoo animals. Besides, these folks have a right to their bad taste. Personally I don't get the point behind the things (or any of the other various crap people put on their cars for that matter) but they certainly shouldn't be illegal.

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Coat

Local police chief Franco Fuda....

Wants sacking.

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Meh

I once owned a pickup truck -- useful if you go hunting and fishing, which I no longer do, or if you own a house, which I do. However, I never put fake plums on it.

Personally, I think these people are idiots but I'd prefer to see them with these things if they desire to have them. I makes it easier for us to spot the kind of drivers who would do this, just like a Korean car makes it easier to spot the kind of driver who knows nothing about driving.

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Go

Permit them, please!

There'd be general uproar and malcontent if the government tried to force all selfish idiots to display a tag on their vehicles which stated, in bold red text on a yellow background "I AM A SELFISH IDIOT".

Allowing them to hang these things from their overly large trucks (which they generally never use for any purpose a small car backed up by an occasional rental from U-Haul couldn't fulfill) means they're doing the exact same thing, voluntarily.

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Silver badge

Only in America...

'nuff said.

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Anonymous Coward

Most people don't have the balls to go through with this!

Sorry

For those people think he should be fined - I find all anti abortion, religious, kids on board and "if you can read this ...." offensive. first offense - off with their heads. Repeat offenders are treated much more harshley

(If we are going to have a "good taste god" it may as well be me!)

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Anonymous Coward

Nuts on bumper, penis in driver's seat.

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