back to article NASA: Martians likely lived underground

If life ever existed on Mars, it's likely that its longest-lasting enclaves would be underground. "If surface habitats were short-term, that doesn't mean we should be glum about prospects for life on Mars," says Bethany Ehlmann, the lead author of a new NASA report on the Red Planet, "but it says something about what type of …

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  1. stucs201
    Alien

    Well that'll scupper the artilleryman's plans

    What's the point in hiding from the Martians underground if that's where they'd move to after they invaded and got past the initial phase of running around in fighting machines zapping everything with heat-rays?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Alien

      Fortunately....

      You can just hock a loogie on Martians. That will send any red planet invader shrieking and waving its tentacles to the nearest infirmary for a round of injections or to the nearest estate attorney to get affairs in order before the inevitable deus ex machina salvation of mankind.....

      Let's hope the Martians never find out about Airborne!

  2. Steven Roper
    Thumb Up

    You're forgetting...

    ...that the question of another attack from Mars causes universal concern. Is our planet safe, or is this time of peace merely a reprieve? It may be that across the immensity of space, they have learned their lessons, and even now await their opportunity. Perhaps the future belongs not to us, but to the Martians.

    It's lookin' good, it's goin' good, right?

  3. Stumpy

    And we all know ...

    That million to one chances occur nine times out of ten...

    1. Thomas 18
      Thumb Up

      But how do we get it to exactly a million to one?

      If its off by even a single unit then we have no chance! whoever heard of a million and five to one chance coming off.

      1. stucs201

        Million to one already confirmed...

        ...by Ogilvy the astronomer. "The chances of anything comming from Mars are a million to one"

  4. annodomini2
    Coat

    So...

    More likely that the Tremors 'Graboid' aliens came from Mars??

  5. John Smith 19 Gold badge
    Happy

    Hmm. Opportunities abound for the creative global arms corp.

    After all if there are Martians, whose to say they might not be *hostile*? -> no one want an inter planetary war on terror but the price of freedom is external vigilance -> the only *sensible* answer is an expedition -> $100Bn should take care of the security situation.

    Champagne and Christmas bonuses all round I think.

    Good business is where you find it.

    1. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge

      Nine Nines for a Perfect 10 Solution ... Binary Resolution with Patrolling AIMissions

      " John Smith 19 Posted Friday 4th November 2011 10:13 GMT in NASA: Martians likely lived underground .... "Hmm. Opportunities abound for the creative global arms corp. ....... After all if there are Martians, whose to say they might not be *hostile*? -> no one want an inter planetary war on terror but the price of freedom is external vigilance -> the only *sensible* answer is an expedition -> $100Bn should take care of the security situation.""

      John Smith 19, Hi,

      $£€1 short of $£€1Bn ..... has been floated, and is here again advised, as the cost to be paid to principled principal players in order to guarantee post modern alien security measures are not used and/or made known to be altered by others to create and deliver lunatic mayhem globally, instead of the measures, and further development of those measures and their powerful control protocols within ITs Virtual IP Methodology providing SMART Mentoring and Monitoring CHAOSystems for facilities and utilities which would assure clients and insure properties against such abuses as may prove alien and noble and unable to be countered.

      Never was $999,999,999 better spent on a Beta and Self-Monitoring, Analysis and Reporting Technology Mentoring and Monitoring Clouds Hosting Advanced Operating Systems.

      And the following Martian underground comment didn't make the El Reg cut yesterday, but is of course to be found elsewhere anchored in other places interested in the space with applications that drives the future with pure applied imagination and shared ideas made viable with positively reinforcing mutually beneficial support. And such valuable assistance can be as simple as there just being no effective opposition or divisive competition to hinder rapid unilateral progress in a field and fields which are fabulously novel .... and is something to ruminate on, over the weekend.

      "Hi, Brid-Aine Parnell, [ http://www.theregister.co.uk/2011/11/03/uk_cyberattack_response/ ]

      I was searching in you article for the bit where it was saying, re cyber attacks on UK gov/Blighty, ….”Once we’ve sent a letter and had a chat, naturally” ….. because it has been my experience that sending letters and having a chat, [which are surely nowadays sending emails and having a Skype type session] about things which are brand spanking new and highly irregular and unconventional and extremely disruptive to the Establishment but which are of an easy second nature and nothing at all unusual to an alternative, and maybe even a number of alternative underground streams/radical memes, is something which the status quo is pretty hopeless at, even whenever intelligence service channels and cabinet office emails are used.

      Invariably does that convey to those parties who would be the valuable parties of especial interest to governments and societies and services which are more than just very vulnerable, and are in reality, virtually defenceless, that they have a clean sheet field of play and can name their price for services to be rendered in order to provide required security. …… for they would be leaders in the field and leaders in a field that government do not understand because of their own ingrained programming in service to that which gives them their orders.

      I trust that is plain enough text for all to understand the difficulties which the system and its old orders have, in these new changed times.

      It is so nice to have a chat, for one can learn so much about practically anything and virtually for free, too."

      Oh, and just so as not to leave any confusion or create any ambiguity with the above bargain costing of $1 shy of $1Bn, is that a payment for all the work that has been already done to be able to guarantee the future will be as IT and media delivers, and that should not be confused nor mistaken nor be taken to imply that it is also a contractual obligation for future works on third party behalf's, for of course, would their requirements be presently unknown and therefore would any such contract be impossible. Such services would be subject to future tender and therefore an extra cost to be considered and budgeted for.

  6. JimC

    Didn't Larry Niven

    Predict underground living Martians?

    1. Mako

      Yep. Sort of.

      In Protector, plus a few short stories in the Known Space anthology. Technically they lived on the surface, but under the regolith.

  7. Mystic Megabyte
    Alien

    Spiders from Mars!

    They should land a couple of hundred of these beasties near a cave and let them go underground.

    Just need to relay the video along to the ones at the entrance. I'd love to see that footage.

    http://www.space.com/3632-mars-caves-targets-search-life.html

    http://www.physorg.com/news/2011-11-high-tech-robotic-spider-hazardous-missions.html

  8. Neil Barnes Silver badge

    Nice planet.

    We'll take it.

    1. ~mico
      Alien

      ...right after

      we take care of those hoo-mahns

  9. nijam Silver badge

    Gale Carter? Was that John Carter's wife, back on earth? I think we should be told.

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