Viz Profanisaurus
Fist published in 1998 Roger’s Profanisaurus is a compendium of words and phrases inspired by the lexicon and philosophy of Viz comic’s foul-mouthed northern TV reporter Roger Mellie. Thirteen years later and "the man from the telly" can now spice up your descriptive and euphemistic powers through this handy app. Never before …
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I bought this the other week.
Definitely the best £1.50 i've spent in a while.
I recommend 'California tan' and 'You can't piss in the sink when it's full of teabags'.
At my work...
...I used to email round an entry from the Profanisaurus every Friday afternoon to select people in our firm (i.e. most of them), typically without self censorship. I dare say in other companies it would have resulted in instant dismissal. Most of the entries are indeed about masturbation, excretion and anal sex.
£1.50 well spent. Favourite listing so far, "Attenborough's passport, fanny like". :D
Or perhaps
Re Hello Cleveland is from Spinal Tap
Who plays in Cleveland?
http://www.clevelandbrowns.com/
I have my very own entry in it and have done for a few years now...
"Deal or no Deal"
Zuffle
Was in the original profanisaurus (A 32-page A6 wrap around Viz circa 1997). "Wiping your dick on the curtains after sex at a posh birds house). After I bought this particular Viz (in WH Smith in Amsterdam), I proceeded to pee myself laughing all the way home on a one hour car ride where I was a back seat passenger.
It changed my life forever.
Still got mine...
It's tucked away from the kids.. still remember getting it, around half a dozen of us all in WH Smiths, then proceded to take it in turns to shout out various entries... closely followed a few seconds later by laughter as we read the definitions, much to the bemusement of the rest of the office.
May just have to invest in this version now.....
Also on itunes
http://itunes.apple.com/gb/app/viz-profanisaurus-das-krapital/id458591699?mt=8
snap
snap
Phone number
I don't want to sound like a tin-foil hat wearer, but I don't see why they need to know my phone number in order to provide me with these gems. I'm out.
The app may be reading the IMEI for authorisation/activation purposes, or it may be checking the phone state to avoid interfering with calls. It's unfortunate that the permission system isn't finer-grained so that apps could just ask for the exact permissions they need without getting others they don't thrown in for free, but as it currently stands having that particular permission doesn't mean the app *will* read your phone number, it only means that it *could*.
"Fist published"
I see what you did there...but I have no idea why.
o rly~
Now you have to add "A quick tap on Rodger" as well.
(My favourites from the printed version were 'SPAD' - Signal Passed At Danger, and Red Wings.)
Golden Ticket....
golden ticket 1. n. In Roald Dahl's "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory", the magical token which allowed Charlie Bucket and his aged grandfather to visit Willy Wonka's fantastic confectionary works and thus
2. n. In a sexual relationship, permission to enter the wife's mysterious and exciting chocolate factory, though preferably without an elderly relative in tow.
Have one's arse in one's hand
Had me pissing myself.
euph. To be in a bad mood, to have a strop on.
'Arnie's back!.... and this time he's got his arse in his hand!' (Advertising poster for Terminator 3)
For the non
Fanbois and fandroid users out there, its also on Ovi.
I for one am grateful that the PM announced ParentPort today to save me from this and other corrupting filth that infests the Intertubes. Oh wait - the Great Wall of Cameron only deals with the Web - not App Downloads. Damn You Cameron! And your leaky Wall!!
From tonight's news
We can expect TalkTalk, Sky, and BT to block this then?
>For anyone who doesn’t know what Viz is
Who is this person ? Name and shame the humourless git !
But there *is* a version for iDevices. Not sure how it got through or if it's here to stay though.
http://gu.com/p/3xy8b
I am shocked, horrified, outraged, and appalled.
Gibraltar, a famous Spanish rock? I think not.
Here....
...about nearly a third of the office staff have bought the Profanisaurus. My personal favourite if the Horizontal Payment System (HPS)
Re: Hello Cleveland....
Did anyone else think this refered to the "Familly Guy" character, laugh when you read the definition then had an "oooohhhh" moment when reading the real explanation?
Bought
and trying to explain to my work colleagues why I'm crying... it's not easy in a way that doesn't get me fired for lewd conduct.
Anne Franks' Drumkit - FFS!!
Only fly in the ointment
Is that it's not Honeycomb friendly - portrait only :(
All these phrases can probably be found in the app ;)
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