The IT support chaps and chapesses among you doubtless have a few entertaining war stories regarding preposterous causes of system outages, and we'd like to offer you this fine Friday the tale of the cantankerous crapper and the company server. Reader Stuart Drabble wrote to explain that in his almost 15 years of IT support, he' …
well there's the obvious one
Norfolk server takes a s**t (or dump)
Pity poor Stuart for having to sift through the dumps from that one.
WC PC KO
(although now it is fixed WC PC OK, I suppose).
"Cistern outage #
Pity poor Stuart for having to sift through the dumps from that one."
Could have easily used "logs" to the same effect ;)
"Pity poor Stuart for having to sift through the dumps from that one"
That's a new keyboard you owe me!!!
Brown screen of death?
Brown Scren of Death is the funniest thing I've ever read
Should have looked at the logs first
Trying to get a TDWTF thread going on reg? Must be Friday.
Norfolk Server data flush outage
That is all
Word of the day
Merdurinous... just wonderful.
"Wayward Porcelin Comms Unit Gives Office The Bums Rush"?
Or just... "NFN"? ;)
Stall Tactics Cause Server Dump?
The Number Two Reason for justifying a UPS is...
mount -t vfat -o debug,flush,sink
Mine's the one with the USB stick in the pocket.
What a load of shit!
This is the crappiest story I have read for a while. Was his server running a shitty OS?
Note: the pun was intended.
A company that I worked for years back did computer maintenance and we were called out to a computer that had died suddenly - only to find that it had been cavity wall insulated! The site was being insulated with the expanding foam insulation that is pumped in through holes drilled at intervals. Unfortunately it turns out that there was a hole in the wall behind the computer and the foam had spilled out and filled the case!
"Powerful poo pops PC power"
"Just the jobbie"
That's exactly how they all pronounce "computer" in Norfolk anyway!
(And "Norwich" rhymes with "March" in a Norfolk accent, but that's a story for another day.)
Which pronounciation of March?
The delightful Cambridgeshire burg of March, located a scant few miles from the Norfolk border, is named by its residents a sort of harsh bray or bleat that might charitably be transcribed as 'Maaiirch'.
Naaridge is a good approximation of the sound. The more rural the longer the "aaa". (no rush in the country)
I think most people still say PeeCee rather than com-poot-er. As in a local IT professional would say "Do you go to Naaridge and buy yourself a new PeeCee." (not a question)
Anon. cos I leave there (here?)
Not only Norfolk, Suffolk people also pronounce it that way.
As for NFN, I was at the Kelling Heath Star Party yesterday and overheard "Oooh, and he's going to marry his cousin!!"
(Yes I know marrying a cousin isn't illegal now, but have no idea why not)
Surely it should just be 'Brown Out'?
Was it the epoch or incremental dumps that caused the brown out?
I would have never midden believed it.
Crap crap pump flushes more than cache
... in a land of limited genetic variety.
Or, as the medical community used to say...
NFN (Normal for Norfolk)
OK, I admit - I'm bored
so here goes:
failed flush fries fuse,
server severs system,
monitor militates meltdown,
pipes purged - poo probably precipitated problem
Sump Pump Dump Lumps Stump IT Chumps...
I know they fixed it, so that's nor fair. Still if I'm doing headlines, I don't actually have to tell the truth do I?
If anyone can think of a word for server or power system that rhymes, I'll be very happy indeed. I suppose the other version is:
Clumped Dump Lumps Stump Sump Pump
Loco loo causes server fervor.
Howard pissin' kills power system. (of course, this presumes there is a bloke named Howard working there)
Head of IT tried to HUP httpd, ended up killing init and httpd instead (``kill -1 12345'' vs ``kill 1 12345''), resulting in a Friday excursion to the DC (and pub and KFC).
East Anglian cesspit in boolean server aphorism confusion.
Shit or bust becomes shit and bust.....
Sorry can't beat "Crazy crapper's crippling crash"
so let me bore you with yet another war story. My home linux server would crash every time I cut the grass. Reason: The attached webcam, sensing motion in the garden, would take up to 10 photos a second and attempt to email each one with a seperate sendmail process. Soon after, the server dies for lack of memory. Or rather, the OOM killer would kill something that mattered.
Server sunk in cesspit sludgefest
Norfolk server sits on naughty stool
these pithy headings are not as easy as they look
Vocabulary is enhanced!
Megaplop reduces server megaflops
Sewer system fault severs server system
"Up to his neck in it until the pump gets fixed".
Fecal Failure Flummoxes Failover
Ordure Ordeal Orders Outage
nod to Peter 2: Sewer Severs Server Support System
Crap Culminates in Curtailed Cluster Capability
Doo Doo Derails Drabble's Data
Loopy Loo lift loses local line link.
poolean overflow error, core dumped
Norfolk and power! exclaimed the server admin, frantically laying cables.
that would be a shitty job. The paperwork just keeps piling up (documenting server outages for sla.. honestly).
My anecdote from my time working tech support for a major ISP has become less rare. (Though in that case it was that the phone cable went past the pump and interference caused a loss of the adsl signal when the pump was running)
"Septic Shock Slays Server" ?
"Number too large" ?
"Make: Don’t know how to make clean."
I used to work with telephone exchanges and recall how we snickered during training when they started telling us about "big dumps" and "small dumps". Why yes, we *were* all straight out of university.
Paper Pile Plugs Pump, Pops Power (Server stuffed)
Shitter Stuffed, Supply Shunted, Server Stops
Loo Lags LAN
Potty Plugs Ports
Gut Dump Dumps Sump Server Bumped
BOFH Beeped, Bog Bogged, Sump Stumped, Server Stuffed
Server stuffed by lagged loo
Poo Poo, Fuse McBlew, Stuart Drabble in Pub
Pee title... eh sorry, _see_ title
Clearly Norfolk'ing good.
What an astounding news story!
They have flushing toilets in Norfolk?!?
Server Splattered by Stuck Sewer?
I recall with.. well I wouldn't say fondness... the cesspit that the Grandmother used to have before she got a digester - basically a miniature sewage plant - fitted. Every three months or so, the "poo lorry" would come down, pop the lid, stick a big pipe down there and slurp everything up. The eyewatering stench was close to indescribable. The entire 7 acres would become close to uninhabitable, with everyone retreating inside the cottage with all doors and windows shut. Of course, me being at a young age, I would try and get as close as I could to the action before the invisible wall of nostril-hair-curling stink became too much to bear.
And someone might have to go down and fix this pump? Poor, poor souls. I don't envy them one bit.
It sort of gives new meaning to the term "network congestion", doesn't it? Or would that more properly be "network constipation"? ;-)
- Review Is it an iPad? Is it a MacBook Air? No, it's a Surface Pro 3
- Microsoft refuses to nip 'Windows 9' unzip lip slip
- US Copyright Office rules that monkeys CAN'T claim copyright over their selfies
- Tesla: YES – We'll build a network of free Superchargers in Oz
- Netflix swallows yet another bitter pill, inks peering deal with TWC