"I'm just here to do the audit," a weedy bloke says, poking his head nervously into Mission Control. "What audit?" the PFY says, reading my mind. "The safety audit – surely they told you about it?" "No, nothing," the PFY responds. "Ah," the Weed says. "Well, I've got a checklist of all the accidents that have occurred in or …
'T is a death trap!
for auditors, certainly
Opaque glass - so the boss was the only one whop couldn't see it coming.
Obviously made from..
.. the same stuff they make Zaphods Peril Sensitive Sunglasses from.
Good But I am awaiting Robots
If only the BOFH's in firms I do work with did it deliberately..
Back on Form
Long time since we have seen the halon dischare, welcome back!
Can we have one about PAT testerst oo, please?
Icon to demonstrate effect of PAT tester on network...
I always find myself going around and moaning why have the PAT testers put PAT labels over air vents again
"Well, that all looks fine...
...but I'll just put a surge through the system to be on the safe side...". Genuine quote from genuine PAT-tester, as reported to me by our FM department. Followed by genuine dead server. I should note that the guy had stated that he was finished with the server room, swore blind there was nothing else to do there and then surged it AFTER I'd left the building. Cnut.
PAT testers aren't much brighter than Health and Safety inspectors in my experience.
PAT tester: Put the labels on the desks... and had a master key to the server room from the estates department... but not for very long.
H&S drone: Told us to replace our rather expensive surge protection sockets within IT with their approved sockets (Metal, no surge protection, but they don't melt if there's an inferno in the office...). Yes, I asked if we could have surge protection on ours. His reply was 'Why do you need that?'.
Portable Appliance Testing
We had a guy who wanted to pat test a Mass Spectrometer, weighing approximately 1+1/2 tons and wired into the wall on 3 phase.
I don't know what is portable about that one ... we laughed so hard!
Death to the oppressors. Another belter.
Weed's fate was sealed fairly early though
I'm sure I remember reading somewhere about an organisation that had reported 3,000 workplace accidents within the course of a year.
The organisation? The Health and Safety Executive.
So H&S inspectors falling victim to "accidents" at the BOFH's workplace doesn't surprise me in the slightest. It's also deliciously ironic since the inspector claimed the workplace was a "deathtrap to the uninitiated" yet conclusively proved that for all his words, he was uninitiated himself.
Of course, when there's only one halon release left, they'll presumably entice The Boss down into the server room, so creating another vacancy for the managerial equivalent of a redshirt...
There'll always be a vacancy 'in potentia'
They'll never run out of Halon, there must be tons of it out there that needs 'safely' disposing of and I bet there's a healthy profit in disposing of it for other conscientious companies.
Hmmm 'Joo Janta' glass
I'm sure theres potential for that to make further appearances.
(Goggles? Zaphod's sunglasses...)
I am now happy.
Pints all around!!!
Halon itself isn't significantly toxic. You need the fire to produce the interesting chemicals such as Phosgene.
If I were the H&S bod, I'd explain how I have a cousin who sells the sorts of respirator needed for protection, and advise the BofH/PFY to get the gear and go on a proper training course.
Halon 1211 is corrosive when exposed to water, you know, like what is swimming around your eyeballs. Have always wondered if other varieties of Halon are the same.
Isn't the point that the halon floods out the oxygen in the room? You don't need to poison someone if you stop them respiring.
re: Vincent Ballard
Yes 'dramatic' halon as used the BOFH probably does that. 'Real' halon doesn't however, part of the point of it is its less detrimental to people in the area than alternatives such as CO2.
No. This is not in fact how a Halon system works. What you're describing is a CO2, Nitrogen or similar noble gas system. Halon works by chemically binding the free radicals as they occur inside the fire, similar to how oxygen reacts with them. This effectively poisons a fire while (in a properly designed system) remaining far below immediately toxic levels.
Halon 1211 is typically only used in hand extinguishers because of its higher toxicity compared to Halon 1301, which is used in room flooding systems. Toxicity of the latter is almost exclusively caused by reactions at very high temperatures which shouldn't occur in your typical server room fire because the Halon system will put the fire out before it gets that hot. Breathing gear is only required when reentering the room because of the combustion products and the side effects of the halon 1301 (Which include giddiness and impaired perception. Not things you want when inspecting fire damages, especially not if there might still be a risk of reignition)
So staying in a room when the halon flood system activates, while disorienting, is unlikely to actually be very hazardous to your health. That said, the BofH's system is probably dumping enough halon in there to flood out the oxygen. Never trust a system designed and operated by the BofH and his PFY.
I think the BOFH acted too quickly
He could have had mission control shut down for two weeks, while he and the PFY work from the Bahama's on double pay + expenses + exceptional hours payments due to the time zone differences.
Then he gets all the fun of ordering shiny new deathtraps to replace the existing one's.
"Having fire-based emergencies is the cheapest way to get rid of Halon, yes."
When did the PFY start going easy on misbehaving boxen? You only need one finger to flip the power switch (hence the "one-finger salute". Or so I'm told.). Something here smells fishier than Shepherds Bush at night.
Or was that his personal torrent-dedicated box?
The 3-finger salute is something you traditionally give to a WINDOWS(tm) box not a Linux box which prefers the more graceful 'shutdown -r'...
... although in the PFY's case I suspect he would spend q few enjoyable hours repeatedly running 'shutdown -k' on the accounts server and watching the drones scramble to save their precioussess...
"Graceful"? Go wash your mouth with soap, young man! 'Tis the PFY we're talking about!
"The 3-finger salute is something you traditionally give to a WINDOWS(tm) box not a Linux box "
Actually it's a generic PC thing - 3 finger salute works during POST too you know - it wasn't invented by M$
Every Linux box I've used for the past 10 Years+ has had CTRL-ALT-DEL mapped to either "shutdown -h now" or "shutdown -r now"
Saves you having to logon see.
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