back to article Painters wrap Forth Bridge job after 121 years

The English language is preparing to mourn the loss of one of its most agreeable similes as painters finally apply the last lick of paint to the Forth Bridge. For well over 100 years, chaps armed with buckets and brushes have scaled the famous structure in a Sisyphean endeavour to keep it spick and span. Now, however, after a …

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  1. Mad as a Bat
    Coat

    "like X-ing the Y"

    like trying to secure Windows

    1. Thomas 4

      like Y-ing the X

      Like updating the Motorola Android Phone?

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Like Xing the Y

    "Like pleasing the missus!"

    1. Neil Greatorex

      Like X-ing the Y

      Like correcting Wikipedia...

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    PR

    It's all PR BS I'm afraid. I was told by somebody on the project a few years back that it was a myth that the bridge was constantly being painted. Futhermore he said he could cite periods where no painting was done on the bridge at all for some considerable time.

    The whole myth got started because painting the structure is so complex that it obviously takes a very log time and somebody stated that it took so long that by the time the painters reached the far side they would have to start again at the other. There was never any official confirmation of this.

    Indeed I remember a few years ago it being a news story (probably in the Scotsman) that the bridge was falling to bits because the painting had been stopped. They can't have it both ways - either the painting was stopped or it has been continuous since the bridge was erected.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Nope...

      They did stop for a while, but I have family in South Queensferry, their house has an excellent view of the bridge and there were people working on it all year round.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Working on it...

        ...isn't the same as painting it you know.

  4. Jim 59

    Which one

    And which Forth bridge are we talking about ? "Network Rail" is the clue. Not the graceful FRB then, but the pleasingly chunky FRB.

    1. Calum Morrison
      FAIL

      There is only one Forth Bridge

      There is a Forth Road Bridge too. Please do not confuse them.

      That is all.

    2. This post has been deleted by its author

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Of course there is only one Forth Bridge....

        The others were First, Second and Third.....

    3. MJI Silver badge

      The rail of course

      The rail one is called the Forth Bridge not the Forth Railway Bridge

      Only road bridge not with road in its name next to a railway bridge I know of, is the Tamar Bridge as the railway bridge of course is the Royal Albert.

      1. andy mcandy
        Pint

        ouch

        reading your comment made my brain go crosseyed! :)

    4. Bracknellexile

      Title

      There are two bridges: "The Forth Road Bridge" and simply "The Forth Bridge". The latter doesn't have "Rail" in its name.

      1. Jim 59

        Confusion abounds

        Evidently we are all having a quiet day. I thought it was "Forth Rail Bridge". So does the Visitors Centre at forthbridges.org.uk. Wikipedia allows both "Forth Bridge" and "Forth Rail Bridge", but what do they know?

        Admittedly "FRB" was a step too far.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        3rd Bridge

        There is a third bridge, George, which has as usual been unfairly omitted. George IV Bridge, that is.

        1. Grease Monkey Silver badge

          George IV Bridge does not cross the Firth of Forth. It's an elevated street in Edinburgh. You can't count it just because it's in Scotland you know.

          There are two bridges at Queensferry, the Forth Bridge and the Forth Road Bridge. Although they are planning another road bridge. Further inland there are two more bridges although I think they cross the river Forth rather than the Firth of Forth. Those are the Kincardine on Forth Bridge and the Clackmananshire Bridge which bypasses Kincardine to the north.

          So in short there are still only two bridges over the Firth of Forth.

    5. Badbob
      FAIL

      There are two different bridges, with two different names....

      Forth Bridge - Railway Crossing

      Forth Road Bridge - A90 Road Crossing

      Similar to the situation in Gloucestershire / Wales.....

      Severn Bridge - original bridge, now carrying M48

      Second Severn Crossing - new bridge, carrying M4

  5. eloise
    Flame

    X-ing the Y

    Like checking a Windows computer for Viruses

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Alternative

    Like keeping a windows server patched?

  7. Willington

    Hows about...

    Like trying to appease her.

  8. Anonymous Coward
    FAIL

    To State the Obvious

    Like Patching a (insert your own preference here) Server.

  9. Paddy Fagan
    Coat

    like X-ing the Y

    with due respect to the moderatrix - like policing the reg comments

  10. It wasnt me
    Happy

    How about

    "Like thinking of a 'get me coat' one liner that hasnt already been done."

    "Like finding a previously unused 'paris' gag."

    "Like waiting for for an Orlowski Article with comments."

    "Like waiting for a Page Article without moaining about Brit-Kit".

    1. Asiren
      Devil

      Er...

      I think there was a Page article that didn't slate Brit-Kit last week, wasn't there??

  11. Dodgy Geezer Silver badge
    Unhappy

    And with a political flavour

    for a long and pointless endeavour:

    "Like talking to a politician" (add name of current PM to make it topical)

  12. Gomez Adams

    Like downloading the internet

    Like downloading the internet.

  13. HP Cynic

    Wet Paint

    I'm glad to hear it will be finished, I have seen a few TV articles in recent years where the workers talked about the new longer-lasting paints and also commented on the myth that the bridge has needed a "Wet Pain" sign since it was built.

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Had to be said

    Like finding a fenchman who'll shag his missus

  15. Frederic Bloggs
    Unhappy

    Another (topical) political one:

    Like waiting for government to use open source

    or

    Like government to complete a computer project on time and budget

  16. Jon Double Nice
    Megaphone

    Like paying for PFI

    This is the post bit, ya.

  17. DZ-Jay

    Like X-ing the Y.

    I personally like the euphonic sound of that phrase, so I would like to officially submit for your approval: "Like eksing the why."

    -dZ.

  18. This post has been deleted by its author

    1. Graham Bartlett

      @Headley_Grange

      Except that brass monkeys has nothing to do with cannonballs...

      1. Headley_Grange Silver badge

        @ Graham Bartlett

        Thanks for you post and the clarification. I've been labouring under that misapprehension for years.

  19. BristolBachelor Gold badge

    Reminds me of a backup once

    Reminds me of my last company, when the tape drive broke on the software production server. Someone decided that we couldn't buy a new one, because the new SAN took all the money and it had an excellent new tape drive in. I was instructed to run a cron job each night to copy the source code repository to the SAN which was in a different building (The backup software couldn't backup to the SAN).

    It took just over 25 hours to copy the entire repository over the internal network, so the next night the job started before the first had finished. I can't remember how long this nonesense went on for before they decided to buy a new production server and just connect it directly to the SAN. Whatever, it certainly saved the cost of a tape drive :)

  20. vonBureck
    Coat

    X-ing the Y sounds good to me

    Let's not get too fussy here, nothing wrong with "X-ing the Y". Maybe except for the potential mispronunciation as "waxing the I" (eye?)

    Yes, yes, I was just leaving anyway.

  21. Bracknellexile

    Like...

    Edinburgh has a ready-made substitute right on the Forth Bridge's doorstep!

    "...like building Edinburgh's tram system!"

  22. relpy
    Paris Hilton

    see icon.

    never stops.

    allegedly.

  23. Anonymous Coward
    Trollface

    Like...

    Like waiting for a set of comments without OS bashing

  24. Marco Mieshio
    Thumb Down

    P - lease....

    This is old news and coupled with this the scaffolding is not down for three months. So it is not finished yet and it is old news that it is finished. The News in this country is tripe with a capital T. Have people forgotten that our government has been engaged in torture! This means if they can do it to them, they can do it to us.

    1. Badbob
      WTF?

      Wow....

      Been a while since I seen a trolling post that went quite so far off topic! But hey, at least the rendition flights will have a nice view on the approach to Edinburgh Airport.

    2. Intractable Potsherd
      FAIL

      @Marco Mieshio

      If I understand your post correctly, we should not be concerned with anything other than just one instance of something that has probably been going on in some form or another for a long time. There is no justification in your mind, for people to indulge in a bit of humour combined with non-political interest.

      I'm sorry, you are wrong.

  25. Graham Bartlett

    @HP Cynic

    "Wet Pain"? Are you accidentally typing your NSFW website URLs again?

  26. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Like X-ing the Y.

    To be a true substitute it needs to be some action that once completed needs to be started again .... perhaps

    "like making pedantic corrections to the register comments forum postings"

    will do.

    "Back in the day"(TM) it would, of course, have been "like reading usenet"

    1. Angus Ireland
      Meh

      In that case...

      ...Bracknellexile hit the nail on the head with "...like building Edinburgh's tram system" - the tracks in Princes Street requiring repair work only a short time after being put down!

  27. Christoph
    Unhappy

    Like ...

    Like clearing out the spam trap

  28. Paul RND*1000

    qjbhqb

    Like staying opted-out of Facebook's privacy invasion schemes.

  29. joshimitsu
    Alert

    Endless Loop

    Like keeping a games PC up to date.

  30. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Oil Rigs?

    Every one I've been on has been a rusty bucket. Epoxy paint isnt the be all & end all.

    Don't think the painters should hang up their brushes just yet.

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