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back to article Paintball round pops Bulgarian airbag

A UK paintballing outfit has been obliged to ask participants if they're packing Bulgarian airbags before they take to the battlefield, after a 26-year-old combatant's Bulgarian airbag was burst by a paintball round. The jub implant rupture shocker happened last Saturday at UK Paintball's open air centre, close to Croydon. It …

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Meh

let me express my doubts

Far from being an expert, but the paintball bullet lacks both energy and shape to cause such a massive damage as rupture of the breast enhancement. My money is on the lady tripping on the course and unfortunatelly falling on some angular object, and then perhaps trimming the story a bit to make it more interesting.

The "extra padding" thing sounds interesting, though...

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Boffin

Oil, chalk and food colouring suspension in a gelatin casing

At 300fps from 20yds away a paintball round can puncture the plastic pods that you use to hold them during a game. Recreational facilities tend to dial down their equipment to fire at a much lower speed but the inconsistency of the CO2 (the most popular propellent) can still cause high velocity spikes. They can certainly do serious damage to an eyeball (or, um, a testicle!) from pretty much anywhere on a paintball field.

Man in goggles because, well, that's why you're not supposed to take them off.

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Sir

re:not enough energy

It would be nice to think so, but I was once bunkered during a tourny training session and got three hits around my kidneys. One hit my battlepack, rupturing a pod; one hit my body armor (lightweight stuff but effective).

The final round missed everything except the soft tissue around my kidney, where I now have a crescent shaped scar as a result of the, quite painful, tearing of the skin around the area of impact.

Usual? No. Possible? Yes.

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Pint

Re: "extra padding"

Extra padding for your extra padding.

I liked "enhanced boobs". A pint to whoever left that in.

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Alert

doubts...

Paintballs hurt like hell when they hit exposed skin (eg hands) causing cuts and bruises, for skin covered by clothing they leave welts at close range....., so it doesn't seem entirely implausible that one could rupture a silcone filled baloon...

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Unhappy

Energy:

A shot to a testicle WILL take a man out. For some reason shots to the shaft aren't nearly so painful. It's not uncommon for the gelatin spheres to draw blood, bruise, and otherwise hurt, but I wouldn't want to handle any breast that they would break.

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Velocity

Erm... I marshalled a site once and most punters could tell that paint dont fly too well below 260fps and so we ensured that they hoovered around the 290-295 mark at all times, the last thing you want is a punter complaining the paint wont hit anything and then fails to break when they do hit someone else in the field.

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Silver badge

@Sir Runciple Spoon

For a second I thought I'd been drunk last night and posted that comment myself. I too still have a crescent shaped paintball scar in a similar area.

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Facepalm

Pods

I must resolve not to speed-read the comments on The Register. Zipping through this one my eyes saw the words 'three hits' and 'rupturing a pod' and I do believe I may have winced out loud at that point. A second, more thorough reading has revealed the correct context, much to my relief. I may even be able to uncross my legs in a moment or so.

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Sir

@Annihilator - and I thought I was the only one! Welcome to the club of 'I actually have paintball scars'

@The Infamous Grouse - first proper lol moment I've had on here for ages :D

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Coat

extra padding

well this is certainlly a good idea , :) makes for easyer target , also the guys will be distracted enough to make easy targets :)

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Boffin

Extra padding?

Protective gear for fencing, mountain biking, snowboarding, whatever intended for ladies usually goes for rigid curved plates to protect the airbag region... seems much more practical to me.

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Happy

hmmmmm

Excuse me madam, would you mind whipping your top off so I can ogle... I mean, check if you need any extra padding?

Nice idea.

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Paris Hilton

hmm

>'information on the dangers of paintballing with enhanced boobs'

Doesn't sound like the sort of language that should be used on a website - people will get all hot under their collars and have to take a lie-down.

PH since she's got, you know, boobs...

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Excuse me madam...

.... can I give you a hand with those?

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Childcatcher

Excuse me madam

"Carry your bags Mam?"

Or was that "carry your mams bag?" How offensive?

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Measurements?

Our staff will be required to ensure the correct fitting of the extra padding, for your safety.

Measurement will be taken by a number of staff to ensure the correct size is attained.

Droolling, dribbling and sounds like "Hubba Hubba" are normal during this process

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Boffin

hmmm

PJ and Duncan never had problems like this

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A title is required

Eye see what you did there.

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Coffee/keyboard

Re: hmmm

I think the Geordies in question have been lobbying for this very restriction after Lara Croft pwned them both in a closed-doors paintball session.

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Anonymous Coward

Thomas 4

He didn't.

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Amusing advertising ahoy

Anyone else have a link below the story to a free whitepaper on 'Watermelon metrics'

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Enhancing the enhancements

Hmmm.

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Meh

Chest armour?

The last time I went paintballing (a couple of months ago) my missus was required to wear extra body armour (a huge chest plate) to protect her 'boobs'. This was mandatory for all females playing any of the games, while men on the other hand had the choice to wear a box or not.

I'm guessing the lady in this story either wasn't wearing body armour or she was and was simply really, really unlucky in getting hit.

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Happy

Pics

or it didn't happen

Plus, I'll volunteer to do the safety examinations

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A misspelling?

I believe the original wording of their post was:

"You will also be issued with extra PATTING to protect your implants while paintballing."

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Anonymous Coward

Finaly a valid excuss to talk about tits at work

"Excuse me mam, do you have big tits, health and safty, tell me everything".

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Anonymous Coward

Pix or it didn't happen.

Airbags or GTFO.

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Implants

Not every woman who has implants has them for "enhancement" purposes. Implants are frequently used as part of breast reconstruction following a mastectomy for breast cancer. This is a serious matter and deserves something more than the adolescent remarks made here.

As the husband of a three year breast cancer survivor this really gores my personal ox.

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Pint

Re: Implants

Lighten up, please :)

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Paris Hilton

No I will not put in a title!

As the recipient of high velocity, point blank paintballs to both the arsehole and the earhole, I can confirm that Paintballs f**king hurt when they hit you and have no doubt that they would be capable of puncturing a silicon-enhanced jub at close range.

Paris because...just because.

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WTF?

Erm, is that possible ?

I can see how you'd get a shot to the ear, or to the a*se, but a shot to the a*sehole would imply that you had either bent down to tie shoelaces with knees straight, or the opposition were on the ground shooting upwards. . . . if the latter I hope you are not a Scotsman who was paintballing in a kilt . . . .

I can just see the discussion at A&E. . . "Doctor I have a paintball up my a*se"

Doctor "And just what kind of games were you two playing then ?"

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Pirate

It can happen

I left one poor guy squealing like a stuck pig with paint seeping 'tween his arse cheeks on one game.

Let's leave that sentence there for a while, to give everyone chance to chortle.... (I'd actually sniped the sniper - he was lying down covering home base and was unaware I had snuck around the back - I actually aimed for his back but I'm a lousy shot)

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Someone's been freezing their paintballs...

Its very effective.

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Pint

Indeed

I wondered if this woman was perhaps employed as a beancounter in the same office the BOFH works in. Would certainly explain a lot.

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Lol - You sign a disclaimer anyway!

See above

Mines the one with the Planet Eclipse Ego with Halo loader in the pocket.

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Very possible

Hard grade paintball (yes there are soft grades as well) and within 75ft very possible if she wasnt wearing armour and the implant was quite close to the outer skin.

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FAIL

Pain yes, but breaking a silicon boob???

The AC above says that are hard/soft grades of paintballs - it would be more accurate to say how brittle the shell is and that can be affected by thickness, the consistency, temperature and other atmospheric conditions, and how they've been stored. Depending on the type of play people will want more or less breakability - too brittle and they break in the barrel, not enough and they bounce on the target rather than break when they hit. In general a rental paintball site (as opposed to a tournament team) will want tougher paint as the markers tend to be rougher on the balls; this has the added benefit of the punters having to fire more paint to shoot someone out and the site's profit is in the paint.

Paintballs do leave welts, and at close range can break the skin and even scar especially on hard areas like hands and arms. But breaking the skin on squidgy (e.g. fat) areas of the body is pretty rare even for close balls at high velocity. As a top-heavy lady on the cuddly side who used to play tournament paintball I can vouch for that - I've come away at the end of the day with plenty of bruising to the boobs, and welts with broken skin in other areas, but no broken skin on the boob area.

I see 3 options to what happened:

1) The Bulgarian fun-bags were faulty to start with

2) She damaged them in some other way NOT by being hit by a paintball or

3) The paintballs themselves were either of such low quality or had been stored so badly, that they should never have been used.

Mine's the one with an old Smart parts Impulse in the pocket

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Meh

They. hurt. like. hell.

...and I guess freezing the paint balls is illegal or "not nice" is most places, unless both sides agree to it.

Now, for the ladies, shape-fit armor like Sarah Kerrigan's would be appropriate. (or cute!)

Anyways, even for males a complete chest armor was not mandatory, but highly recommended. Even motocross padding is a good substitute.

As for 'rupture' as someone misread, jock straps were recommended as well...

Other recommendations were:

1) aim to the chest.

2) no point-blank firing.

3) and the usual "safeties on" and "don't aim at what you don't want to shoot" etc...

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Stop

Frozen paintballs don't work very well

As the paint in the ball is water based they expand when frozen. Big balls don't work because they need to be a close fit inside the breech and barrel. If they're too big they rupture when fired.

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Stop

Not allowed

"...and I guess freezing the paint balls is illegal or "not nice" is most places, unless both sides agree to it."

For "rental" customers, I don't know of any sites that would allow you to bring your own paintballs let alone pre-frozen ones. As I said, sites rely on selling the balls to make any profit - the game fee doesn't cover anywhere near the costs. I STILL can't believe a paintball could actually rupture a false boob!

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FAIL

Wrong

Nope, the fill is vegetable oil based NOT water based. The balls swell when wet (ooh er missus) because the gelatine shell expands not the contents - look closely at the very swollen paintballs on the ground in wet weather & you can even sometimes see the air space caused by the shell expanding but not the fill

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Stop

Rental Sites

Will NOT allow you to bring in your own paint.

I used to work for Skirmish...

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TO the pic crowd

Why on earth would you want too see pics of a bruised and ruptured breast ?

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Big Brother

@TO the pic crowd

And would that count as Extreme Pornography?!

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Facepalm

"Part of the fun of paintball...

"...is that it hurts a bit when you get shot..."

ITYM it hurts *someone else* when they get hit!

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Facepalm

I wonder which breast burst?

'cos if it was the left one, I expect she felt a right tit.

(Oh, someone had to say it)

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