A Greyhound bus caused a bit of a rumpus in Nashville earlier this week when it lost its considerable load of bull semen. The vehicle was negotiating a curved on-ramp to the Interstate 65 at around 5am when it discharged four canisters of frozen taurine oysters. The bus went merrily on its way, unaware it had bust a nut. Police …
After a quick bit of mopping up
That'll probably keep Kleenex in profit for the foreseeable future.
Won't someone please think of the bulls?
They will have to produce all that stuff all over again, poor sods.
Lacking prehensile hands, how exactly.......actually, I'm going to abandon this train of thought before it derails and permanently damages the station.
If you really want to know....
...it's done using a device called an AV. The A stands for artificial, you can work out what the V stands for I'm sure.
The device is warmed by being filled with warm water, and there is a collection tube on the end. The bull is introduced to an in-season cow and a doughty volunteer is tasked with placing the bull's todger in the AV.
You can blame this knowledge on having read some James Herriot books back in the dim and distant past, it is of course possible that it's done differently nowadays as my information is probably 60 years old.
Surely, must be AW? A for Auto- and W for ...
Still done like that.
See Jackass movie 3 (I think)
I used to work for a business whose business was Bulls 'business' and I can certainly attest to its value. Some serious money to be made in getting a prize bull to flunk his junk into a flask...
What? No money shot?
Straight up, no bull?
Greyhound spatters Nashville with semen
"The bus went merrily on its way, unaware it had bust a nut."
You owe me a new keyboard, mouse, monitor & usb hub.
I think this makes it the REAL bangbus.
Oh and it is not fun to have a bull fall ontop of you.
IT ANGLE ?... but then I suppose stories like these always abound ...
... come what may.
Coming up with the jokes
Presumably when making the turn, the bus mounted a kerb?
I knew there would be ...
... gutter humo(u)r in this thread ...
Funniest thing I've read all day.
Note to those about to whinge about IT angles: save your keyboard some wear and tear.
This will be the definition of a bullsup in my dictionary from now on.
--Paris as this story is on a slippery slope.
Title must contain some sort of stuff
"Mum, is the bus coming?"
Don't be silly dear
it's only blowing its nose
One of my favourite
bull-semen-related memories (the only one, actually) is of driving through Iowa or Nebraska (it's hard to tell the difference, really) and seeing a "collection" facility where the large sign out front read:
"MANY ARE CULLED, BUT FEW ARE FROZEN"
$18 - $50 per millilitre?
Here in the UK, I don't know what the going rate is for bovine bollock batter, but I know us fellas would only get "reasonable expenses" no matter how much muck we chucked!
They pay you?
When I think of all the free samples I've disposed of over the years
The title is required, and must contain letters and/or digits.
<insert comments similar to "How does one get a bull to shoot off into a straw?" below>
I just sat down with tea and toast and thought "I'll just check The Reg..."
Could have been worse...
Glass of milk and some natural yoghurt, anyone?
Ohhh ... the bus company was called Greyhound ...
... I read that thinking that it was a bus for greyhounds! And then wondered why would greyhounds need bull semen.
Greyhound - option #3 for USAnians
If you can't fly and can't drive, then the only option is to take "The Dog." Trains really aren't an option in the USA.
Funny thing about Greyhound ...
... the "Greyhound" logo is actually a Whippet.
I have a brace of each snoozling on the sofa here in the office :-)
...is currently flopped on the lounge floor on his back, having his ear's stroked by my daughter, with a beatific look on his face.
RE: Option 3
Oh, you can cross the country quite nicely by train - But it's bloody expensive, compared to 'The Dog.'
I've done it both ways, and frankly prefer the train.
...cock and bull story
Still no pictures
send somebody down to the Playmobil division to wake the operators up
( you could always borrow a cattle prod from the PFY ),
we are overdue for a Friday Reconstruction
...were 'injured' in this event.
LN2 can only be transported by road?
Which I assume means it can't be transported by rail or air. But when you consider the relative safety and crash records of air and rail transport compared to road transport, you have to wonder if that's not one of the more idiotic laws on the books.
I can maybe understand flying...
Don't know about other forms of transport but i don't think most planes have a pressuried cargo hold, and the pressure drop may cause the LN2 to become just N2 (purely speculation)
Also, el reg please expect a bill for a new keyboard from my office :)
Just be glad...
that 3 buses didn't come at once.
"..bovine bollock batter.."
Oh - a greyhound BUS
I can't have been the only one who read the title and though "Half a litre?!? That's impressive for such a little dog."
A few comments mentioned it before, but...
it is only my uneducated feeling, and I can be very wrong, but are Americans, more than any other nation, likely to turn brand names into proper nouns and use them as such? See Greyhound, Kleenex (also in the comments mentioned), also Trapper Keeper, Mace (I was thoroughly disappointed when I found out, that the daring thief, who succesfully assaulted an armored truck in Brazil, armed with mace, was actually using tear gas), any number of housecleaning products, an so on.
Is it some weird property of English language, that is causing this? or do other nation do this as well?
Off the top of my head
I hate to be a language usage Nazi...
"The load in question was travelling between Columbus, Ohio and a breeding facility in Laredo, Texas..."
"The LOADS in question WERE travelling between Columbus, Ohio and a breeding facility in Laredo, Texas..."
well, one good thing
at least it wasn't a feeding facility in laredo.
you know why
Can and is transported by rail in the US .
There's a poignant story just under the surface...
Just remember how this stuff is harvested. The bull-wankers have to get back into the wicker cows and do it all over again.
tickle my prostate
@ George Nacht
You could just Google it.
- Boffins attempt to prove the UNIVERSE IS JUST A HOLOGRAM
- China building SUPERSONIC SUBMARINE that travels in a BUBBLE
- Review Raspberry Pi B+: PHWOAR, get a load of those pins
- Review Reg man looks through a Glass, darkly: Google's toy ploy or killer tech specs?
- MEN WANTED to satisfy town full of yearning BRAZILIAN HOTNESS