back to article God particle back in hiding

Less than a month ago, Large Hadron Collider boffins thought they were closing in on the Higgs boson particle, but the results they had observed now look like a statistical quirk. Nature is now reporting that a paper presented at the Lepton Photon conference in Mumbai, India, shows the “excess events” spotted at the LHC are …

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Paris Hilton

or.. shock, horror

.... it may not exist.

Sadly, Paris shows up at excess events as well.

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Boffin

If it doesn't exist...

...it's not bad news. What it would mean is that the Standard Model is incomplete, which opens the door for all sorts of new and interesting physics in the future.

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Trollface

And then.,,

> With any luck, the narrowing window for the Higgs boson’s mass could lead to it being identified by the end of 2012.

Which means World Peace by March 2013, personal jetpacks for everybody by June, clean energy by August and all the other wonderful things we'll be able to do once we've discovered the Higgs boson.

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Mushroom

2012!!!

I demand that the HLC is shut down on the 21/12/2012 thank you very much!

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Holmes

Shut down Harrogate Ladies' College?

But why?

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Pint

That's my birthday that is! (NT)

NT stands for No Text

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Anonymous Coward

No Need To Worry

It'll be shutting itself down (and us with it) on 21.12.2012. I have this trustworthy Mayan Calender thing on my wall here which suggests the partying cannot be extended into 22.12.2012.

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Devil

And yet

The world hasn't been destroyed in an uncontrollable black hole generated by irresponsible scientists messing around with things they shouldn't.

I want my money back.

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Megaphone

Re: And yet

@AC

Frankly I'm pleased the world wasn't sucked into an uncontrollable black hole. When they first switched on the LHC I was in the nearest equivalent of an uncontrollable black hole viz. Heathrow Terminal 5, and how embarrassing would it be to die while sitting on the floor[1] at T5.

1 - Because Lord bloody Rogers thought huge and no doubt architecturally significant areas of bugger-all were more aesthetically groovy than providing the weary traveller with somewhere to SIT DOWN. Grrrrrr!

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And yet

one wonders whether we'd actually know that we'd been sucked into an uncontrollable black hole. I'm fairly certain that's where my missing laundry has gone, and it's only a matter of time before we all catch up and I find it.

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Anonymous Coward

Eh?

> I'm fairly certain that's where my missing laundry has gone

Listen, I don't think I have any wish to be united with your missing laundry. I presume this would have been on the side of waiting to go into the wash, rather than having come out of it.

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Joke

Richard Hawkings new book...

"The God Particle Delusion"

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Happy

And the sequel

When they subsequently find it:

"The God particle delusion, delusion."

Repeat cycle ad nauseum.

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already written

It was written by Lee Smolin and called "The Trouble with Physics", although it could equally have been called "The Trouble with Any Academic Discipline".

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Pint

What would he look like?

Some kind of super-athiest cripple?

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Coat

A statistical quark?

How did they mistake that for a Higgs Boson?

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Coat

Wo No Title?

<quote>How did they mistake that for a Higgs Boson?</quote>

They we starring at the new Nyan Cat think at the time? http://nyan.cat/

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Facepalm

A Quark?

I do believe it was actually a quirk, as opposed to a quark.... not quite the same thing, but fuck it, close enough.

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Lepton Photon Conference

Well, that's gotta turn chicks on. ''Hey baby, I'm attending the Lepton Photon Conference. Wanna see my large hadron?"

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Re:

''Hey baby, I'm attending the Lepton Photon Conference. Wanna see my large hadron between your magnificent bosons?"

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Coat

"...the results they had observed now look like a statistical quirk."

Ok, what was the energy level of that quirk?

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Just like quarks quirks have flavour

disappointment, in this case (also known as "rock bottom")

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jai
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so

no point in trying to set up that grid-number-crunching client to help them analyse the data then?

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Headmaster

is the god particle

mono- or poly- theistic? Finding the only one might be a bit of a bugger?

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Ru

Monolatric

There may be others, but you're not supposed to care about those.

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99% to 95%

Is it just me or does that still sound like good odds?

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Holmes

95%

Fairly good odds, but it depends on what's at stake - that's still a 1 in 20 chance of being wrong. You might bet a tenner on a 95% chance of winning, but would you bet your house? Given the cost of the LHC project they would definitely want to be much more certain of the output than "fairly probably".

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No Higgs - but gravitation deciphered already

Remember a little voice who always said you find the solution to gravity and mass elsewhere? Rumpelestitlskin or Anadish? Who was he?

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Since it is the 'God' particle...

...should existence not be taken on faith alone?

Experimental evidence would de-deify this particle and thus, to maintain its stature, it is clearly interfering with the results to obfuscate its own existence. Of course this in itself could be used as evidence.

(p.s. - Watch out for that zebra.)

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Black Helicopters

I don't think this guy read this correctly

but he's probably right that it's a conspiracy.

http://iheardacouplethings.blogspot.com/2011/08/slowly-i-cern-step-by-step-inch-by-inch.html

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Alien

Black holes

Would leave an unusual signal in the detectors, which would be noticed.

Conspiracy theory of the week:- what if the black hole at the centre of the Earth is actually linked at the quantum level with any nearby black holes, so generating them at the LHC might cause significant seismic effects as the BH goes through a phase transition like ringing a hyperdimensional tuning fork?

Same sort of idea as magnetic reconnection on the Sun affecting nuclear isotope decay rates.

Someone should do a comparison with LHC runs at N energy level versus seismic effects worldwide.

AC/DC

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WTF?

What what?!

There are black hole where now??

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Trollface

Hiding in plain sight...

You do realize that the God Particle is hiding in plain site. Unlike us mortals its not tied to our 4th dimension (time).

So its really moving backwards in time so you will see it, but not know what you're seeing.

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